My husband and I are divorcing after a tumultuous relationship. He has not been there for our two children and did not even want the second. I have allowed him to do a lot of damage in our lives. He has several personality disorders and will not stay in treatment. There is also misuse of perscription drugs and so much more. Because all of his relationships are exploitative in nature, he has no qualms about going in and out of anyone's life if he needs something from them. I don't want this happening. I don't want to be looking over my shoulder wondering when he and his family or he and his new girlfriend will try to take my kids from me. They fight dirty and victimizing others is their method of uniting.
I think my husband would volunteerily terminate his parental rights, in order not to pay child support. A person from Legal Assistance told me that the state will not go for it because they want to get from him the $ they are paying in Medical. He has a lawyer. I can't afford one.
2006-07-04 21:48:27 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
It doesn't look like his lawyer will listen to what I have to say, even though a smart attorney knows this can gain him info that will benefit his client. It is vital that I not have ANY communication with my husband. It just starts everything up again. Legal Assist. will not provide an attorney because there is not any property to divide.
My husband has under 500./mo. in income that is on the books from disability. So the state couldn't get much from him anyway. The termination of parental rights is in the kids best interest. How do I accomplish this? I was hoping the attorney would act as go-between if it would benefit his client. A battle would rack up money for him but the termination of rights is business that he could handle.
What do I do to get this accomplished? Understand, that if in the future he is in treatment and able to be reliable to the kids, I would let him have a relationship, parental rights or no.
2006-07-04 22:05:58 · update #1
Unfortunately this is an example where the system is designed in the best way possible but isn't designed to handle every problem effectively. My guess is that this is going to be a very long drawn out process. I would start by checking around and seeing if there are any lawyers in town that would take on such a case at a reduced fee. There are often times when a lawyer will do something just for the good will it generates but there is no guarantee you will find one. All you can do is try. Beyond that the best thing you can do is put in your request and reasons in your divorce documentation and hope you get a judge that is willing to consider more than just the standard judgment. In the long run, your best bet is to focus on your life and your kids. If you can create a good life for them and keep track of all that your soon to be ex does or doesn't do then you will have a stronger case for a future date when you can afford a lawyer.
2006-07-05 06:57:07 · answer #1 · answered by rkrell 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I understand completely where you are coming from, but if you receive any public assistance, the state is not going to allow yuo to terminate his rights. It's quite a big deal, and this issue butts up against your husband's constitutional rights. Thats why to do this will be a protracted process and if he is as big a d*ck as you say, he will never give them up because he knows he will always have that to hang over your head with. I can't say with specificity about connecticut, but in NYS there are grounds that must be met if he doesn't want to give them up voluntarily. If he goes to prison, (not jail), if there is no contact (including child support) for 6 months or more, if he is mentally ill, these are routes to getting his rights terminated. You need to get a lawyer for the child custody issues. Tell the legal aid society there are children who must be considered during your divorce and you need a lawyer, as well as the kids need a law guardian.
I hope you have luck. I had the same rigamarole with an a**hole who popped up after two years and sued me for custody.
2006-07-05 11:11:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There have been alot of cases where even though one parent is unstable, that parent has gotten custody of the kids. If you can provide for those kids, hopefully the judge will be fair. I don't know what advice to give you, but good luck anyways.
2006-07-05 04:53:30 · answer #3 · answered by huh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most states won't allow termination of parental rights unless someone else is assuming responsibility. No visitation or only supervised visitation would be easier. Or get divorced and get remarried to someone and have him adopt your children.
2006-07-06 21:08:49 · answer #4 · answered by Molly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to legal aid and get a lawyer you cannot afford not too.do it for the children
2006-07-05 04:52:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dat sux!!!
2006-07-05 04:52:03 · answer #6 · answered by green123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋