He didn't tell me about money I had coming on pensions from the settlement and he tried to keep it. He is upset because in a deposition my lawyer tried to find out how much money he spent on his girlfriends ("dissipation of marital funds" the lawyer called it). He told me it was terrible of me to do this, and it humiliated him. He says my lawyer "stuck it to him" because part of the settlement was that he paid some of our joint credit card bill. That was something we both agreed to and I paid for some things such as the taxes on the home (he didn't pay that). Anyway, what should I do about him. He is very hateful towards me and he was the one who lied and cheated and withheld money coming to me as part of the divorce. When he says these things I can't sleep and it affects my work. How should I handle this?
2006-07-04 20:31:40 · 19 answers · asked by doryanne949 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are divorced. Remove this person from your life, finally. What are you waiting for? He's still running your life.
2006-07-04 20:34:22 · answer #1 · answered by ladybugewa 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am very sorry to hear that you had such a foul experience. The thing that you need to realize here is actually quite simple- he is a selfish, self centered, vain, hateful man. You have done nothing "to" him- he did it to himself and being the egocentric sh*t that he is, he blames you rather than placing the blame where it truly lies- with himself. And while your lawyer may have been competent and handled things properly, I personally think it is too bad that your lawyer wasn't a true "shark" of the profession- the man deserved and deserves to pay far more than he has for his hateful behavior. I do have one question though- why do you have ANY contact with this loser? I'd recommend a restraining order againt him for his harrasment of you- or maybe you should sell the house (unless it was and divided as marital assets), get the hell out of wherever you live, and start fresh. In some cases, maybe euthenasia really might not be a bad thing- this guy certainly seems to be an indicator that might be true.
2006-07-05 03:43:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its obvious he knows how to push your buttons to get you upset. What you need to do is to go to various State Agency's where you live and get help from people who can sit down with you face to face and can work on your Self esteam. Where I live its called, "Department of Health and Social Services". I'm sure you can get all the help you will need. You really need to go away somewhere where he can't get to you or talk to you. You need to have some healing time away from this bad inviorment that your living in. Face to face professional help which is free is what will be the best medicine for you..Also try to find a away to build a wall around you so he can't push those buttons. My last wife was very domineering and possessive. It was extremely diffacult for me as she knows where all my buttons are. With help I was able to cover up most of my buttons so she can't push them. Good Luck!! Put something over those buttons..
2006-07-05 04:18:54 · answer #3 · answered by Kit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It hurts when personal things goes to public. Living together makes one to open up to each other and one knows other from ones heart. Hate feelings comes once this openness to each other goes to public and humiliate the person.. its OK to get separated and live ones life. Its not good to push to harm if one is not good enough to other. Be sport person in relationship that helps to resolve many issues and hatred feelings..
2006-07-05 08:05:46 · answer #4 · answered by m_cyberfriend 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, are there kids involved?
If not, there is nothing to handle. Don't talk to him. Get caller id, when he calls don't answer the phone. Tell whoever answers the phone at work to not transfer his calls to you. You are now divorced, you don't have to talk to him (unless there are kids involved). Most divorces are not nice, most are nasty and end with at least one person really not liking the other.
2006-07-11 07:45:04 · answer #5 · answered by PATTY H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he deserve it, take all his money if you can, or he is going to share with that b,itch, you know, why would you let something he say bothers you? he is not that of a good person himself, forget about him, forget about what he says, move on, if I were you, I will find the best lawyer and sue his butt off, your lawyer sounds smart, keep going...
2006-07-05 03:43:14 · answer #6 · answered by Discovery 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There an old song titled
"IT'S CHEAPER, TO KEEP HER".
He should have thought of that.
As for the cheating,
"PAY BACK IS A B*TCH"..
Being cheated ON, was humiliating.
Wasn't it..
Sell the house, and move.
MOVE FAR FAR AWAY.
Start life anew.
2006-07-05 04:01:27 · answer #7 · answered by elliebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well thats good thats you don't have to put up with his ****. Go n and live your life. Do what you want and don't let him back into your life. He is still controlling you and will until you stand up for yourself. you good enough for someone else. There is another person out there in the world for you. yo don't needhis trifflin ***. hey do what you want to now cause you a free woman,
2006-07-05 03:41:19 · answer #8 · answered by Sierra E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you care what he thinks about you. It is his fault why things are happening to him. He is the one who lied and cheated, he should be asking you for forgiveness.
Don't waste your time trying to figure out why he dislikes you. Focus on you and improving your health, so that you can go on with your life. Your doing the right thing. Good Luck!
2006-07-05 03:35:30 · answer #9 · answered by sparkling_apple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should just forget him and move on with your life.If he was cheating on you he doesnt deserve you and your better off without him.There are still plenty of good men out there the problem is finding one.GOOD LUCK
2006-07-05 04:49:13 · answer #10 · answered by sexysadie71 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go rent "Waiting to Exhale" and "How Stella got her Groove Back" get a bottle of wine and watch them both. Then sit down the next day, sober, and make your plan......
2006-07-05 03:45:27 · answer #11 · answered by 123..WAIT! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋