My parental rights were terminated five years ago. My daughter has since been adopted after living with a wonderful foster family (5 years) who treated her like one of their own family. I think about her constantly and worry that she will never try to find me since she has others who she considers to be her "mother."
2006-07-04 19:26:15 · 4 answers · asked by animalcrackers31 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Here are some suggestions for you.
1) Keep a journal of your thoughts about her. It's okay if you write in it a lot for awhile, then not much for a time, then go back again ... don;t worry about how often or how seldome you write in it ... just do it. Then, when you do meet in the future, you can give it to her, and she will have a basis of knowing how much you love her and how much you thought of her over the years.
2) Sign up on all of the reunion sites (you may have to wait until she is 18 to do so ... that is okay ... just make sure you are on them when the time comes).
3) Keep track of her from a distance if you know her name. i.e. ... this does NOT mean stalking her or her family. This does NOT mean even being in the same places she is ... ever .... you don't want to end up in legal trouble. But as she progresses through school ... if she is in sports or other scool activities, watch the local newspapers for mention of her, and clip the articles.
4) If you are a praying woman, pray for her every day.
I can't tell you she will look for you, but the chances are that she might. It will be up to you to make the search as easy as possible when the time comes, whenever that may be.
2006-07-04 19:41:26 · answer #1 · answered by Pichi 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think all adopted children are curious about their birth parent. A lot of them try to find the parent at sometime in their life. Do not let this be the main reason of focus as it may be a dream that will never be fulfilled. If I were you I would build a strong future, get an education and realize that life will get better. Who you will become is up to you. I pray to God one day you open the door or answer the phone and she will be on the other side. Good luck and God bless you.
2006-07-04 19:41:10 · answer #2 · answered by jodie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. I am the adoptive mother of the world's best just-turned-one year old.
In the adoption counseling I received prior to adopting I was told, yes, almost all adoptees do try and find their birthparents. So chances are she will try and find you.
As far as already having someone she considers to be her mother, that doesn't mean there is no room in her heart for you (see poem below). People often ask me about my daughter's "real mother". I always correct them. My daughter has two "real mothers". 1)Her birthmother , who was a real mother to her by bringing her into this world and entrusting her to me and 2) myself , who has been a real mother to her by providing for emotional, physical, and spirtiual needs since.
As far as having contact with her at a later point in time that would probably depend entirely on why your rights were terminated and how your life is going now. To be completely honest with you as an adoptive mother, if you were my daughter's birthmom and tried to contact her and you were still drug addicted , involved in criminal activity , having severe behavioral/emotional issues etc., I would do everything in my power to keep my daughter away from you. But if the issues were overcomed and in the past, you would be welcomed in our family.
In the meantime, I would suggest talking with other birthmoms in a support group. http://www.birthmombuds.com is an excellent one.
Best wishes and God bless
The Legacy of an Adoption
Once there were two expectant mothers.
One carried and cared for you beneath her beating heart.
She became your Birthmother.
The other carried the hope of you within her,
She became your Mom.
As the days passed, and you grew bigger and stronger,
Your Birthmother knew that she could not give you
all she needed after your birth.
Meanwhile, your Mom was ready and waiting for you.
One day your Birthmom and your Mom found each other.
They looked into each other's eyes and saw a friend.
Your Birthmom saw the life your Mom could give you.
Your Mom saw how much your Birthmom loved and cared for you.
They decided that what you needed was both kinds of love in your life.
So now you have two families, One by birth, the other by adoption.
And now you have a home where you can get:
your questions answered, your boo boos bandaged,
your heartaches soothed, and much-needed hugs.
And a place where you can find:
answers to your questions, your image in the mirror,
a part of yourself, and much-needed hugs.
Two different kinds of families.
Two different kinds of love
Both a part of you.
Author Unknown
2006-07-07 04:17:17 · answer #3 · answered by cstoa10 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a real possibility that your child will wonder about her birth parents and her past and even attempt to contact you. If you are open to this possibility, make it easy. Don't be offended that your child has a loving family and security. Instead, use the years ahead to become the best person you possibly could become, so that not only you can be proud, but if your child ever finds out who you are, she won't be ashamed of where she came from. May God Bless.
2006-07-04 19:43:41 · answer #4 · answered by educator 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋