Why is it hard for me to come out of my shell?

Question

Why is it hard for me to come out of my shell? Like when I'm at school, I'm the quietest one in class! maybe tooo quiet! and when i try to talk to someone im shy to approach them. Is this natural? Anyway of me getting out of my shell? I mean what's the first step? I don't want to be the quiet one anymore. I wan't to be more active and socializing with different people. I'm tired of being quiet. I've just had enough. When I try to talk to someone, I run out of ideas to talk about. I don't know what to say. Ever had that feeling? Then people don't talk to me because I don't have anything to say. I mean I wan't to talk to people but I run out of ideas. I just want to be more open to people. Sometimes what I think about is, Oh man if I say something wrong, they won't like me anymore. That's why I'm always quiet. I don't socialize because I think I will lose the friends that I have now. I don't want that to happen. I want to be able to talk and socialize and I don't what them to think wrong

Answer 1

I was very shy as a child .... for several reasons not the least of which was being the youngest and having people always talk over me or telling me I was too young to have anything to say. I mase the mistake of gravitating to a bad crowd whe I was teen because they were all outcasts in their own way - so I guess we found each other and could be ourselves within that circle. Now I can see there were tons of better alternatives: if you have a particular interest - join a group (i.e. I enjoy nature and environmental issues - so I joined the National Audubon Socciety and then went to meetings at the local chapter) - in that way - you are already within a group of people with whom you KNOW you have a common interst - and generally - such groups welcome both comments and questions - and rarely is anything considered to be to trivial to say or ask - Just a thought - good luck.

Answer 2

(Ok, this belongs in the psychology category but...) You're just a little too self-conscious. Notice that other people say the wrong things or talk too much or otherwise mess up, but hardly anyone pays attention or holds it against them. Do you? Most people are too busy thinking of themselves to bother to notice other people's mistakes. BUT, if you've been raised in a household where one or both parents are too judgemental, you might expect to be judged by others as well. This is hard to get over, but try, even if it takes a long time. And talking isn't only about expressing ideas. The best conversationalists listen to what the other people are saying and respond, giving them a chance to take the lead. Guys don't always remember to let someone else take a turn talking. The listening part is possibly even more important than the talking.

Answer 3

it is good to not be a fool or wild or loud not being any of those three will really save you alot of embarrassment, and keep your reputation worthwhile having, so don't ever become foolish loud and wild ever, and as far as how to really make good friends the key is simply being able to give good advice in a non self promoting way or in a realistic way, which comes from knowing wisely how people behave in general so that you don't give bad advice, a good way to understand people is by reading and attending lectures in an educational setting first, then get out socially at social events or in malls or at conventions, also reading in the book of Proverbs of the Bible explains a lot about basic human social problems and how to solve or avoid them wisely and for a quieter guy you will find a girl can be the best friend ever and easier to meet than another guy sometimes, doesn't mean you are not normal or anything just means that girls really need friends who are guys that are respectful guys like you are ok

Answer 4

It may help you to know that most people feel the way you do, so your not alone. If your school offers a Drama Club or Speech Class join it. Get involved in school activities and volunteer to mentor younger kids. The more active you are the more you have to talk about. Listening skills are important too, so maybe you are a good listener. And remember, best friends help you remove the foot in your mouth and carries your shoe.

Answer 5

First of all don't worry, especially at school. More than half of them you won't see after you've completed it. Also, it's really hard to say something that'll get someone to hate you if you have good intentions. Just remember that if someone takes something the wrong way you'll have a chance at explaining yourself. It may take a while to get used to but the more you socialize the easier it gets.

Answer 6

It sounds to me that before you can be comfortable around other people, you need to be comfortable with yourself. Your schooling years is a very awkward time, and it is at these times that we know nothing about ourselves no matter how much we think we know about ourselves. Your lack of self confidence with yourself shows especially if your worried about saying the wrong thing or not having anything to say. Relax. Accept yourself and don't worry too much what other people think. You'll soon find the confidence you need and you'll also find friends that are truly friends because they like who you are on the inside.

Answer 7

Just be yourself. Hang out with talkative people to open up some more....but then when you do that, you can't get them to shut up! lol. I'm not a very talkative person either. I like to listen. Of course I will give my opinoins and stress points of views that I feel strongly about. My life is very routine, there's not much to say, what do people expect?....me to make up stories?...Lie?
When you start running out of things to say, make the conversation short if your on the phone. If people tell you they don't want to talk to you because you have nothing to say....then ask them what B.S. do they want to talk about?

Answer 8

I think that maybe if you started to change just one small thing about yourself that you don't like. Something that you notice u do that makes u feel like you have a shell. ... You have to crack the shell slowly little by little...till finally it just falls off....One small step at a time and u will get there...I believe in you

Answer 9

Seriously just start laughing no body really cares what you are doing. If they are big enough jerks to judge you for one thing you say its not worth talking to them anyways. Just have fun and dont care about a damn thing its way better

Answer 10

I know what you going through . I always been that way since I remember and i could never get over , but i find my self very comfortable when i find the right ppl to talk to .