I just wrote this poem! Please read it..?

Question

I know its been months but everyday I think of you,
Some think Im crazy, and I guess it's true!
I know its been months but sometimes I still cry,
the pain you caused me was so bad many times I just wanded to die.
I know its been months but its still hurts when I hear our song,
the words it sing always seems to echo on even when the songs over and gone,
I know its been months but I still find myself screaming at happy couples on t.v,
they make me think of you and me, well what used to be,
I dont know why people never tell the real story of how you fall in love and then they break your heart,
how after you lose them your world seems to fall a part,
they always make it perfect and everything they say is always just rite,
they never scream, they never hurt, and they never fight.
I dont know why everyone wants to find love, cause even when you think you have it always goes wrong and it never last.
Well now I must move on because your a thing of the past,
love in real life isnt at all like it is in movies,
because it really never last.

By: Lacee Ryan
What to all you guys think of it? Do you think its bad? I like to write poems I've written a few the people who have read them always say I have a tallent and that there really good well im not so sure about this one cause I just wrote it so yall are the 1st to read it. Please comment on it. Be honest and tell me if it sucks.
Thanks

Answer 1

It's really good. It almost makes me feel your pain. Keep it up.

Answer 2

There's a LOT of potential here. I think it's wonderful, for a first draft. What you've done is very important because you've gotten it out of your heart and head and onto paper. This is the summary of your pain and frustration and disappointment and anger. Think of it as a huge lump of clay. What you do with it from here to craft, distill and sculpt it can turn it into a true work of art.

No matter how you proceed, I kindly encourage you to mind your grammar and spelling. Whether or not you write this for yourself it's good to practice these aspects of writing because, once you post it here, you're COMMUNICATING. The better you can capture and compress your experience using these tools, the better we, the readers, can feel, interpret and EMPATHIZE with you. Additionally, your distillation can transport us to those times when we experienced such longing and pain and sorrow and thus remind us that as humans, we still more in common than not.

Please try and let us have another read.

Answer 3

It's very good how you can articulate your feelings in to words. Everyone knows how you feel if they've been in a relationship. I don't think love hurts. What hurts is the fact that you though someone loved you but they really didn't. Most of the time the hurting party was just trying to get something out of you, without really caring about your feelings. So hang tough and move on to the next phase.

Answer 4

It's great and I feel that this poem is grasping my heart. It'll be a very good idea if you publish this poem to your favorite magazine and you'll get bucks! (but not much since my dad is a columnist of New York Times and ended up earning only $100!) but it'll make a big difference in your life, I guarantee. Good Luck! ; )

Answer 5

Nice and emotional but way to long for a poem. Song lyrics would better suit this verse.

Answer 6

It really sweet in a corney way.if you give it to your GF im sure shell go gaga

Answer 7

its very good and might have taken many good time to write,keep it up.right more it will make u a great thinker and a good person too.

Answer 8

Beautiful...it says what I am feeling right now.

Answer 9

nice jus copy pasted it 4m here to my notes,

Answer 10

If you improved your grammar it would be okay.