Out with his friends so very often, comes home and argues with me. When i work late, he is so negative and ends up hitting me, what can be done..i dont want to leave him because of our children..what do i do again, pliz someone help me..
2006-07-04 17:58:19 · 15 answers · asked by Concerned advisor 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
there is nothing worth abuse, get out before he hurts you or your children...all you do when you "put up with it" is to encourage him to hit u more and maybe do worse, you are making him worse by saying its ok...truthfully if every woman who got hit would hit or even shoot there would be a lot less abuse in the world and maybe even more children
2006-07-04 18:02:43 · answer #1 · answered by fistfull5000 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You're not thinking clearly. Listen sweetie, NO-ONE deserves to be hit, EVER!! Besides, it's illegal to hit another human being, it's called assault.
Secondly, you should never make the excuse that you don't want to leave because of the children. Children who grow up in homes where there is abuse and violence have difficulty all through life. They generally never get over it . They will be much better off if you take them and leave, now. They don't deserve to live like this and neither do you. Those children are living in constant fear of the next fight, they can't concentrate on their school work and they are losing their self-confidence, just as you are. This is what abusers do, they wittle away your self-esteem.
If you stay with this man, as time goes on the abuse will get more and more severe, and if he isn't already abusing the children verbally or physically, it's just a matter of time until he does.
You should contact your local Battered Woman's Shelter. They have a lot of information that will help you get out of this situation and will offer emotional support as well as other forms of support if you need it.
Please, don't stay another minute. If you think you can't make it without him, you are wrong. Many people leave and end up doing much better in life.
2006-07-05 01:15:54 · answer #2 · answered by Healthnut 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me put this question out to you.... Is it better for the kids to see their mom get attacked and degraded all the time? Is that really healthy for them? If you have a daughter is that how you would want someone to treat her or even if you have a son is that how you want him to treat his future wife?Children learn what they are shown. Don't just stay for the kids.....Yes it is better to have 2 parents around when it is a healthy relationship but in an abusive relationship it is better fr a child to be with one parent who can show them love and compassion. Hope this helps
2006-07-05 01:05:10 · answer #3 · answered by gentlebreeze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out and get out now! I know it's easy to say, but I have been there more than once, kids or not does not matter. It will get worse over time. I was abused for almost 3 years, at first it was just slaps, then it was punces then it was down right beatings. Last time he left me for dead! It's not worth it, EVER-and I don't care how sorry they are afterwards it will escalate and you or your kids could end up seriously hurt. This also does not mean that you are doing anything wrong, he could just be doing it to do it.
2006-07-05 01:05:51 · answer #4 · answered by girlgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I have been there and done that... my question to you is , is it really worth putting your children through the heartache and pain of seeing this and seeing their mother abused physically or mentally? remember what a child grows up seeing and hearing, they learn from this, do you want your children to follow in your husbands footsteps?? my suggestion is get out and take your children, live a happy life, because God did not put you here to have anyone abuse you! REMEMBER THESE WORDS !!
The woman came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on.
Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal.
Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved.
2006-07-05 01:14:56 · answer #5 · answered by answerqueen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave!!!! YOu are doing yourself and the children more harm by staying there. No one and I mean no one deserves to be be treated badly.
Go to this website
http://www.helpabusedwomen.org/
or this one
http://www.awap.org/
I wish I could help more but knowing what state you live in would help. There are many many places that will help you and your children get out of this violence.
You did nothing wrong - it is him that has the problem.
2006-07-05 01:05:23 · answer #6 · answered by nukmeister1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, if he hits you...LEAVE!!!! You are putting the lives of you and your children in danger, do you truly want your children to see this behavior and think it is ok? Would you want them to be hit by someone or worse hit someone they love and think it is ok when they get older....Have him to get counseling if you love him, and if he loves you he will do it! You can not stay with someone that treats you like that, that is NOT love sweetie, get some help before its too late!!
2006-07-05 01:06:29 · answer #7 · answered by slf620 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was in an abusive relationship like that and i left BECAUSE of my child. i know its hard to think of going it alone.... but what i thought about is how i did not want my son growing up in a house like that - seeing/hearing his mother being hit. that is terrible for a child to go through so perhaps changing your thinking about this and picturing what life your children will have/are having will help give you the push you need.
when in an abusive relationship, a woman can lose all her self-esteem, but thinking about your children should be your priority here as well, along with you. but it might help to think about your children listening to these fights, hearing you getting hit, maybe crying in their sleep and feeling terrified about what is going on. children KNOW, they FEEL, and they are just as involved in the tension and stress as you are. as their mom, you need to protect them as well and believe me, a child growing up in a home like that runs the risk of becoming an abuser or letting themselves be abused as an adult too. the cycle will continue and you are the only one who can stop it!!!!
2006-07-05 01:06:26 · answer #8 · answered by Kez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U will b doin a favor to ur kids if u leave ur man and stop the abuse. U dont want ur kids to learn that abuse is something normal.
2006-07-05 01:14:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go find some help in a women centre/shelter or something. Do anything. He has no right to disrespect you like that.
2006-07-05 01:03:39 · answer #10 · answered by Isabelia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋