I've been with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years now and everything has been fine up until we moved in together. I lived with him and his parents for a year before we got on our own and all I remember us talking about was moving out. Now we're out and free and all we do is argue. He's always out with his friends now. I mean it's cool to be out with friends from time to time but he's out all day every day and just completely forgets about me. Like today I wanted to be special because it's the 4th of July and I just wanted it to be me and him and fireworks. But noooo, he's been gone all day and then he comes home goes to sleep and gets back up and leaves again! Now we're fighting again. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to leave him because I love him to much and we've talked about this over and over but he's just not listening. Help me!
2006-07-04 17:35:59 · 17 answers · asked by Lucky 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He obviously doesn't care about you like he should. You need to find someone else who will.
2006-07-04 17:39:19 · answer #1 · answered by big_j_gizzy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's not listening to you because he either doesn't care about your feelings, or else he's angry about something. Here is what you should do. Move out, or ask him to move out. Get some space and some perspective. You two are probably on the way to breaking up. You should have never been living together in the first place, since you aren't married. Give yourselves a little time apart, and then see if you really want to get married, or move on. I doubt you're going to listen to me, but you should separate, pray about this, and then decide if you'll stay together. I don't think he wants to be in this relationship anymore. He probably got involved when he was too young, if you two were living with his parents.
2006-07-05 00:44:47 · answer #2 · answered by percolated 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure you have heard many times that a good relationship requires lots of hard work. While love requires attention, care, and nurturances, the so-called-hard-work involved in making a relationship successful should not feel like doing ten years of hard labor.
A relationship that causes more pain than pleasure is a losing investment of time, effort, and affection. It appears to me by the fact that you have bickered over this endless times, it appears like a one-sided effort that is meeting with very little success. I seriously would take a closer look at your choices.
A warm, stable, loving, intimate relationship is the best thing in the world, but a cold, unstable, rejecting, distant, and demeaning relationship is damaging to your emotional and physical well being.
If the cost of staying with your boyfriend means putting up with pain and rejection etc. I say that the price you are paying is way to high.
2006-07-05 02:18:00 · answer #3 · answered by trieghtonhere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to reality. You can't MAKE a relationship work and obviously you are learning this the hard way. Now that you both are no longer under his parent's roof he can come and go as he pleases rather than fell "obligated" to "entertain" you because it's his parent's home. I think he has come to the end of the realtionship but doesn't want to hurt you...my suggestion is to bite the bullet and leave...chalk it up to a learning expierence and don't move in with anyone until you are both sure it's permanent.
2006-07-05 00:41:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey, i am engaged now and my fiance left me with his 1 yr old(not mine) and went out to a bar, yeah he ignored me all day and then asked if he could leave and i said yes because i knew he wanted to go out, after he left i cryed because i wanted us to be alone too. I figured when the kid went to sleep and our two roomates went out, we could spend some time together for the first time in almost 2 weeks that his son has been here, but noo he left me too... they need to be free but i am very big on revenge so i an gonna make him think that everything is okay and tomorrow i will go out and leave him with the baby and not help him or talk to him, i think you should do the same, if he gets that done to him then maybe hell understand
but hes a good guy and dont get out much so i allowed it even though it hurt i knew he wanted to go out, but if he does it all the time then burn his clothes and leave him naked!!! ha ha ha
2006-07-05 00:41:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both are having an adjusting period after all you just said you moved out of his parents home. think about it this way...your parents are out of town and your not to have a party so what do you do the second they are gone? YEP have a party. hes just feeling free. this is not an excuse for him by any means. if this relationship is meant to be then you and he must listen and work through this adjusting time
2006-07-05 00:45:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to read your question over and over again and I believe you will find your own answer. Leave him while the leaving is good. Tell him you love him and because you do love him, you think your relationship would be better off if you lived apart.
It's important that you understand that you can't change him and if you don't like his present behavior, it's not going to get better. Thanks goodess you have no children or other obligations.
2006-07-05 00:44:24 · answer #7 · answered by IGOTDAGIFT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
50 Romantic things to do 4 your Boy/Girl Friend
1. Watch the sunset together.
2. Whisper to each other.
3. Cook for each other.
4. Walk in the rain.
5. Hold hands
6. Buy gifts for each other.
7. Roses.
8. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear it every time you're together.
9. Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight.
10. Write poetry for each other.
11. Hugs are the universal medicine.
12. Say only when you mean it and make sure they know you mean it.
13. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc.
14. Tell her that she's the only girl you ever want. Don't lie!
15. Spend every second possible together.
16. Look into each other's eyes.
17. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes, tell her you love her, and kiss her lightly.
18. When in public, only flirt with each other.
19. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren't looking.
20. Buy her a ring.
21. Sing to each other.
22. Always hold her around her hips/sides.
23. Take her to dinner and do the dinner for two deal.
24. Spaghetti? (Ever see Lady and the Tramp?)
25. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand and then put it over your heart.
26. Dance together.
27. I love the way a girl looks right after she's fallen asleep with her head in my lap.
28. Do cute things like write I love you in a note so that they have to look in a mirror to read it.
29. Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes
30. Even if you are really busy doing something, go out of your way to call and say I love you.
31. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you were thinking about them.
32. Remember your dreams and tell her about them.
34. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.
35. Be Prince Charming to her parents.
36. Brush her hair out of her face for her.
37. Hang out with his/her friends.
38. Go to church/pray/worship together.
39. Take her to see a romantic movie and remember the parts she liked.
40. Learn from each other and don't make the same mistake twice.
41. Describe the joy you feel just to be with him/her.
42. Make sacrifices for each other.
43. Really love each other, or don't stay together.
44. Let there never be a second during any given day that you aren't thinking about them, and make sure they know it.
45. Love yourself before you love anyone else.
46. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages.
47. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.
48. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.
49. Stand up for them when someone talks trash.
50. Never forget the kiss goodnight and always remember to say, "Sweet dreams."
2006-07-05 00:38:00 · answer #8 · answered by mini 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like this is sorta one sided ..he needs to be aware of your needs just as he is his own and visa versa.. attacking is not good try to be calm and talk things over with him.. let him know he is hurting you by his actions ... men can be so unaware of what or how they treat us and how it makes us feel but we also must be careful on how we word things... you cannot make a person love u and want to be there if every conversation ends in an argument... real communication is not an argument where one has to be right and the other wrong.. let him know in love .. .i know it is hard been there done that and perhaps you will have to let go so he will find out what he had... don't allow yourself to be mistreated.. .Good luck...
2006-07-05 00:43:23 · answer #9 · answered by sandi4551 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk more and get things out in the open. Also, it takes both of you to keep a relationship going, one person alone cannot do it.
2006-07-05 00:39:42 · answer #10 · answered by James B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. He is not interested in being with you, he's interested in having you there as a "backup plan". He dosen't have his parents around to impress anymore and he feels that he's got you in his hip pocket now so.... he wants to go out and play.
get him a cat and move out.
2006-07-05 00:40:32 · answer #11 · answered by blkrose65 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋