i know m friend is gay but he wont come out of the closet. i followed him 1 night and he went into a gay bar. do i confront him or let him come out. and why
2006-07-04 16:55:31 · 12 answers · asked by mikey 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It's OK to know your friend's gay but it would be hard on him if you didn't understand his lifestyle. Ask yourself right now as you read this, "If I were gay, would I have my friends accept me for who I am or will they abandon me?" Put yourself in his shoes, and tell him you're OK with it... as long as you think about what u're saying...
If this works out, let me know... email is calebaldwinjun9@yahoo.com...
2006-07-04 17:04:00 · answer #1 · answered by calebaldwinjun9 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him come out at his own pace but provide a "safe" non- judgemental atmosphere within your friendship and he will feel more free to do so. Just the fact that you want to confront him and you use the word confront makes me suspect of your motives and hints that he does not feel "safe" with you about that part of his life. Afterall, why would you "follow" him? Get your own life. You're kind of scary.
Why is it so important to you that he tell you. There is no rule that says a friend must tell another everything about himself. Only kids see that as a sign of "true friendship".
2006-07-04 17:03:41 · answer #2 · answered by treeof knowledge 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a hard one, I have to admit. However, you can't completely judge your friend off of that one statement, especially if she's never said anything previously. Many people aren't necessarily homophobic, but because of their religion, they really, honestly believe that gay people are going to go to Hell. Now, it's a good possibility that your friend IS homophobic, however, that may not exactly be the case. But if the two of you (or your friend) feels that she really needs to know, I believe that you should tell her. At that point, it comes down to the cliched idea that if she can't accept it (though she may try to "save" your friend, if she's particularly religious), then she wasn't that great of a friend in the first place.
2016-03-27 04:15:27 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your really a true friend, you will not confront his ego about the subject.
Should the time come when he wants to confide in someone,he will probably pick you, since you did not [try to bust him out] so to speak.
This could be a very emotional confrontation, and you could end up losing your friend. Caution with care how you approach the subject, if you want to keep him as your friend.
2006-07-04 17:01:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He really has to want to come out. You can be subtle about it however but only if you are going to be supportive of him, okay? This is hard enough. If you are supportive of him, it might be liberating to have someone to confide in for him. Be gentle. Heck he may have gone to the bar for the shows in curiosity. Straight people do.
2006-07-04 17:06:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i personally think it isnt anyones bussiness not your not anyones if he is gay or not, unless he is hitting on you. what is your purpose to oust him out the closet? why must it be a big deal to you or any one else. do you stand to gain from ousting him. the only thing youll get is denial before he is ready and youll loose a friend if you actually call him a friend let the subject be and he will tell you when he is ready
2006-07-04 17:04:06 · answer #6 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be his choice to tell you.
It is your choice to ask too.
Just ask him. That's what I did when my friend was suspected of being gay.
He knew that I knew that he was gay, but never said anything. I knew that he knew that I knew that he was gay and I never said anything either.
But before you ask. MAKE SURE you Know he is gay. You don't want your a$s kicked.
My feelings never changed. If he is a TRUE friend, it will be nothing at all. Life will continue. Probably be better.
It is harder for him to tell you, than it is for you to ask. Do it for his sake.
2006-07-04 16:59:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's his choice to tell you. Don't push the issue. Why do you feel the need to confront him about his sexuality anyhow?
2006-07-04 16:58:23 · answer #8 · answered by adagia27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him alone. It is none of your business. And stop following him around. You are not a friend at all.
2006-07-04 17:02:24 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him come to you... he has to do it in his own time. You might want to drop subtile hints to let him know you're ok with lifestyle
2006-07-04 16:57:13 · answer #10 · answered by Magi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋