I need advice on dealing with my husband who smokes marijuana?

Question

He has been smoking marijuana since i've met him and along the way he did other drugs but not anymore. Im concern about his behavior he can never keep a job because of the side effects of smoking which are laziness, sleeplessness, and afterwards is irritabilty. And i've noticed he cant seem to think things through when making decisions. I've done wrong in building up my anger and i have punched him in his shoulder and then he comes back hitting me back harder because i punched him first. I think it is a problem he denies it of course but i've seen the pattern and i think its making me unhappy. We have been together for almost 7 years and have two kids. What should i do?

Answer 1

You should be happy your husband doesnt do hard drugs!!! It could be much worse. If you love him you'll deal with his bad sides. You should talk to him and tell him that the laziness however is effecting your relationship. Ask him to cut down, not stop. A joint before bed without kids around never hurt anyone. Abuse is never good for a relationship hun, don't hit him ESPECIALLY if the kids are around. Maby seeing a relationship councler could help. Heres an article I got off my website to prove that its not as bad as you think.

There was a movie in the 1950's called reefer maddness. It greatly overexagerated the effects of marijuana. Unfortunatly this helped shape americas views on the plant, and long lasting impressions stuck. Its a shame. Heres an essay I took off my website i thought you might enjoy:

marijuana is the most commonly uses illegal substance in the United States. it is used by many people, most of which aren't your stereotypical "druggie", with no life agead of them. Many of them hapen to be very successful, good people. Think about it almost if not every person who reads this paper will know (even if they don't realize it) at least one if not several regular users of marijuana. Its often made out to be much more harmful htan it really is, unfortunatly not every one realizes this.

What many people don't realize is marijuana is much less harmful than alcohol or tobacco. Yet it's the one of the three that gets a bad rap and is illegal. Marijuana isn't even physicaly addicting. You certanly don't see meetings for marijuana like you do with alcohol and AA. Unfortunatly due to American culture the less harmful of the three is illegal.

The most common reason why marijuana can be harmful is that people can often come across laced marijuana without realizing it. Marijuana can easily be mixed with other more harmful drugs with out the buyer realizing it, until they have already used it. This is a dangerous thing that causes many people to do more harmful, hard core drugs without realizing it. If it were to be legalized the government could provide guide lines, like it does with alchol to insure that people knew what they were putting into their bodies.

Marijuana actually has many helpful benefits toward diseases / sicknesses. Marijuana can reduce nausea, vomiting, and loss of appetite caused by AIDS. It can Reduce interlobular pressure, which alleviates the pain and slowing and sometimes even stopping the progress of glaucoma. Common side effects of chemotherapy are nausea, loss of appetite, and vomiting, all of which marijuana would help. It can limit muscle pain and relieve tremor nad unsteadiness of gait for multiple sclerosis patients. Marijuana can help prevent epileptic seizures in some patients. It can also alleviate chronic, often debilitating pain caused by myriad disorders and injuries. Each one of these applications have been deemed legitimate by at least one United States court, legislature, and/or government agency.

Due to these reasons and many others many people are going to jail/prison on a daily basis due to simply smoking a little pot These aren't dangerous criminals that would kill or rape someone. Many of them are teachers, lawyers and respected members of their communities. But yet we still pay thousands of dollars of tax payers money to lock up non dangerous "criminals" yearly even though most aren't going to stop after they get out of jail. Don't you think the money spent here is a waste? Couldn't it be going to more useful things such as hospitals, disease research, or better schools? These are the things that would benifit the people of this country. Certanily you would rather benefit the people more than throwing a non violent pot head in jail who was only trying to smoke a joint and relax after a long days work in jail. There is up to forty million regular (note thats just the regular not occasional users) drug users in the United states. If we were to throw all of them in jail it would cost $500,000 per million people, plus the cost and space of building many more prisons. Couldm't that money be spent on building hospitals? There's already about 1.5 million people tax payers are paying to keep in jail over drugs. From 1990 to 2003, nearly 5.9 million people had been arrested for smoking marijuana. Thats a greater number than the entire population of Alaska, Delaware, The District of Columbia, Montania, North and South Dakota, Vermont, and Wyoming combined. This country simply can't afford to put 40 million more in jail.

Marijuana should be legalized. It has many uses such as helping sick patients. People are going to smoke it no matter what the government sais, and with out govenment guidelines this can be dangerous. Not to mention the fact that we have no way we can afford to throw all those people in jail. Its much less harmful than alcohol and tobacco, which are legal, so doesn't it make sense that it would be also?

Answer 2

I feel for you. I was once in your situation. For me? I got out. He wouldn't stop even when we didn't have money for food for the family. I'm not saying it will get to that with you but. Hasn't he already shown you that he isn't gonna stop when there is already a family involved? Two children you say? By accepting his behavior, what are you teaching your children? What does it show about him that he continues to use when he has a loving wife asking him to stop for good reasons? I think you know the answer about your options here. Think of your children, yourself. What's best for the three of you. Look up some information on the many dangers of smoking dope and the after effects and long term effects too. (Not so mention second hand smoke)

Answer 3

I think the problem is not entirely his fault. You knew what he was doing when you met him and I'm guessing you prolly smoked with him. I know a lot of people who smoke and hold jobs. I think the real problem is not with his smoking but he just doesn't want to work. If it's really a big issue for you than give him a choice it's you or the weed.

Answer 4

He needs to get help! Drug addiction is an illness and there is a cure!

Talk to him about the situation - if he refuses to listen give him an ultimatum - drugs or me! Get him to think about what he is doing and how it affects you and the children.

You need to call Narcotics Anonymous - they will give you free advice on what you should do.

Otherwise I know that he is your husband and you have been married for 7 years but you deserve much better than what he is offering at the moment.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

I am going through the EXACT same thing sweetie except my husband's obsession is with alcohol. We have one child and a lot of things have been ruined because of his alcoholism including jobs.

Just do what I do. I got so fed up that I left him for a week with no phone call or nothing and didn't let him know when i was coming back and let him get a taste of what he was a risk of losing. It will work. Good Luck.

Answer 6

I am going through the same thing with my wife right now. Well almost the same thing, without the hitting. She won't admit she has a problem, but I see it all too well. I have tried to talk to her about it, but she won't listen. We have 3 beautiful children, ages 2,3 1/2, and 5. I hope they will understand when I tell her to get out. She has put my children in danger for the last time. I will NOT let her destroy their future. I will protect my kids at ALL costs. Remember one thing too, ANY guy who raises a hand to hit a woman, is not a man, he is trash who doesn't deserve to be around you or your kids.

Answer 7

well, you should have noticed it as a problem before you married him. hindsight is 20-20, and what happened in the past we cannot change today. i personally smoke a little bit of the ganja, and i have no problem keeping a job; im not lazy, or irritable like your husband. you should take a moment and see if the problems are coming from the drugs, or if he is using that as an excuse and is just a negative person always. if he refuses to quit being a jerk, you can either divorce him, or light up a joint and forget about all your problems ;-)

Answer 8

Your husband is a drug addict with all that implies. You were a fool to marry him and an even bigger fool to have children with him. You are paying the price for that and you will continue to pay the longer you stay with him. It will get much worse as time goes on. If he isn't beating you and the children now, he soon will be. Don't be surprised if there is serious trouble with the law or much more serious drug use starts. Don't allow friends of his to hang around. Drug addicts tend to hang out with violent criminal scum. Your husband is high risk for becoming violent criminal scum....if he isn't already.

Straight up. You should force him to seek treatment and stop all drug use. If he refuses, you should divorce him. If he tries to stop you, have him arrested.

Don't allow people like this in your life.....ever. It's rule number one of relationships.

Answer 9

If you are hitting him and he is hitting you, that's called abuse,dear......Why would you want your children to have to go through that?????? And if he smokes alot, I'm sure that the kids know it and think it's an okay thing to do......Where is your head, girl?????? You better wake up soon before you have children in protective custody......There's nothing wrong with you being upset with a lazy drug addict who wants to do nothing about his problem, either......Take yourself to some Narcotics Anonymous meetings.....Alot of people there have been through the same things and can help you to get over the feeling that somehow it's your fault...Take care, honey.....

Answer 10

I was with a pot head for 10 years and we have 2 kids... although my ex husband was never abusive nor lazy he kept a job but only because i am more dominating type and made him. Since the divorce he has been busted twice and now doing a year in a rehab/prison facility..... Get out now you don't want your children to grow up to be drug addicts don't raise them around it.

Answer 11

You are going to have to give him an ultimatum. Either he quits and gets a job or you and the kids are gone. You don't want that kind of role model for your kids. Chances are he's an addict and won't be able to stop without going to re-hab. He may be permanently brain damaged also. Get out and take care of your self and the kids.