2006-07-04 16:03:25 · 14 answers · asked by kitten4cobain 2 in Health ➔ Alternative Medicine
First of all, let me qualify my answer by saying that I have been sober for over 13 years, so I do have a bit of experience in this area. And one of the first things alcoholics learn when they get sober is how to distinguish between things you can change and things that you cannot change. And one of the main things that you cannot change is a person other than yourself.
Yes, it can be terribly painful watching someone close to you ruining their life with drugs and alcohol, but no matter how convincing and encouraging you are in your arguments, it's ultimately up to the other person to make the decision to get sober or to continue using. And if they really are at the stage where it's all still fun, why on earth would they want to give up a "good thing"?
What you CAN do is be an example to your friend by your actions. You can show her that YOU have fun being sober - that YOUR life is better sober. Be there for her if she asks for help, but don't make the mistake of trying to reason with her when she's high - it's a losing battle.
I don't mean for this to be discouraging, just honest. And I'm sure you can (and probably have ) come up with all kinds of relevant reasons to be sober. But ultimately, you can't make her make that decision - that has to come from her.
Best of luck to you, and also to your friend - I'm praying for you both.
2006-07-04 16:20:00 · answer #1 · answered by Daftique 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your friend know she is slowly killing herself. Maybe you should tell her that. Not only that but there are so many cancers she may develop. She is cutting years off her life. There are plenty of better ways to have fun then drink and do drugs. Tell her that a drink every once in a while is okay, but doing it all the time kills brain cells. I wonder if she knows that. Probably not. When you see her brag about something fun you did, even if its not true. Tell her how much it would hurt you and everyone she knows if something bad happened to her. Not only is she hurting herself but everyone around her.
2006-07-04 23:10:04 · answer #2 · answered by Angie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
jsut becaue you think life is better that way, doesn't mean she does. maybe at this moment she very well enjoys what life is offering her by being drunk or high alot. to her, all she cares abotu is having fun. You obviously see the light and are more mature when it comes to this aspect. She may go down hill for awhile, but its up to her to determine what she wants to do with her life. she has to learn her lessons and mature on her own time. Lead by example, and don't be afraid to get after her if she neglects her job, homework, or other duties.
2006-07-04 23:08:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray . One thing you don't do is rub religion in there face that will make them rebel more. Gradually show them how life can be without the drinking and drugs. Tell them how you feel. Let them catch you reading the bible or invite them to church if you go. If you don't than maybe you could try it and let them see a change in you. Have a preacher talk to them or another christian. I think you should talk about the bible and verses from the bible but don't make it sound like you are preaching to them. Make it a casual conversation. Start putting daily verses on your fridge and when they come over and they ask tell them. Or if they live with you than that works out to.
2006-07-04 23:12:14 · answer #4 · answered by Sugar Cookie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before my husband was saved he was an alcoholic that came from an alcoholic family. That was just what they did. ALL the time. He tried every way in the world to stop drinking. After he repented God took his desire for alcohol away and he never had a drink since. It has been over 3 years. If he can do it. She can do it. Try to take her to church with you. He thought that if we went to church that it would be boring. Turns out he was wrong. And we have had alot of answered prayers since then. Praise God. I have said a prayer for her. God bless you for being such a good friend. Good luck.
2006-07-04 23:11:35 · answer #5 · answered by noseygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't!!!!
my husband is sober 1 1/2 years now and no matter how many times i tried he had to do it on his own.... it took almost losing me and his children to realize.. there's really not much you can do except be a friend... I know it is frustrating and you feel almost helpless but you can't help someone unless they want it or until they realize that they do have a problem....
2006-07-04 23:11:32 · answer #6 · answered by DeeDee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't do anything until she's ready to change. Take some pictures of her when she's drunk or high. Maybe that will embarrass her. Don't enable her in any way. She has a long way to fall before she hits bottom -- and she will.
2006-07-04 23:08:00 · answer #7 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's hard, but she needs to want to get clean and sober on her own. Maybe it's time for some tough love. Just back off for awhile and tell her you're there if she needs you, but you can't stand to see her destroying herself.
2006-07-04 23:07:12 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you answered your own question. She is obviously having fun. You said nothing about her financial, health, or relationships with others. so how can you convince your friend not to have fun. are you having fun or is it just that misery loves company?
2006-07-04 23:25:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
allow her to fall on her face. Then she will see when she has no way to be self sufficient. Then be there for her to start over Sober.
2006-07-04 23:06:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋