Read & tell me what you think, Thanks?

Question

1) When water flows in an empty bay
After the moon rises and the people lay
The mist sprays gently onto the rocks
While the devil sits on the old wooden dock
Many people say that he is the one
Who will over take the setting sun
But I am inclined to disagree
For that battle will be between the devil and me


2) Just give me a moment to grieve for my heart
For it was destined with a fate that was doomed from the start
I am trapped in a place that was once called my room
But now as I lie here, it is more like a tomb
When I gaze through the curtains into the black night
All I can see is a faint dim light
And I wonder if my soul, as empty as can be
Could ever be so bold, as to shine upon the sea
I am tortured by a darkness that taunts me everyday
Yet I yearn for the darkness that takes the pain away
My heart has fallen deeper than anyone can know
And I am cursed with a desease that I can never show

what can I say, I guess I have a case of teenage angst

Answer 1

It sounds like it was written by a very bright teen ager. It's very dramatic and teen agers are by their very nature, very dramatic. It could be a sign of trouble, maybe, it could be just normal teen aged angst. It sounds a little suicidal though and that kind of concerns me. It's much better to err on the side of caution if you think that's the case. If you didn't write it, you need to alert a professional or at least an adult who can get to the bottom of it. If you wrote it and have ever considered suicide as an option, call the suicide hotline right now. Get help. If it's just you being overly dramatic, it's actually a very good poem.

Answer 2

nice,hmm you a budding poet,but i would suggest to you that be bit more cheerfull

Answer 3

great keep going

Answer 4

it was great but depressed much????