How do you tell your family/friends that you are gay ??

Question

i am thinkin that they know already, because some of my gay friends that i act gay ... and not straight acting. i dunno right now . i am so confused with life right now. i have a **** load of stuff on my mind right now. and i feel like i don't care that they know that i am gay.

Answer 1

yay for Jasmine!!!

Answer 2

Be prepared. Hope for the best, yet anticipate the worst.

There are two kinds of people in your life, those you're better off with and those you're better off without. Coming out will let you know exactly who is who.

Your parents and siblings are closest to you and you know them best. You should already know how they feel about homosexuality generally. If they're reasonable and liberal minded, you will have few problems; on the other hand, if they are'nt, you may be in for a bumpy ride.

Parents will generally feel that they have made some mistake in your upbringing and that that they are somehow responsible for your sexuality. The are even likely to feel guilty about it. If and when you "come out" you must reassure them that they have done nothing wrong. Be prepared to deal with this issue.

Some parents will accept the situation with love and understanding and others will not. You should already have some idea how your parents will react. If you're still dependant on your parents and you think they may react badly; you may want to put off "coming out" to them until you're financially independant. Again, be prepared.

Siblings are much the same as parents and will react in the same manner. However, your relationship with your brothers and sisters is different, you will have grown up together. If you get along well with your siblings there will be few problems but if there are serious incompatabilities it will be difficult. Like your parents they will feel responsible and may even feel guilt. Having a gay brother can be difficult; other kids can and will tease them. Be prepared for this, let them know you understand.

Your true friends will continue to be your friends and these friendships will likely be reinforced by your honesty. Those that drop you were not your friends to start with and you're better off without them in your life. Again be prepared.

I feel the best way would be to sit down with your mother and father, just the three of you. First assure them of your love; tell them because you love them you must be honest with them; say it's important to you to tell them about your sexuality yourself and that you would not want them to hear it secondhand from someone else. Then tell them of your attraction to other men, how you're not attracted to women.

Parents will often think you're going through a "phase", that you're experimenting and will grow out of it. Have answers ready, be prepared to deal with this issue too.

Your parents may offer "help" and want you to see a psychiatrist. If it's offered take them up on their offer, a psychiatrist will not try to change you and can even help you to deal with your parents. Should they offer to "help" you with some for of aversion therapy or other quackery (it just doesn't work and is a waste of time and money) - talk about it but avoid it. Again, have your answers ready and be prepared.

I can't advise you if you should or should not "come out" - this is something to be decided by you alone. But I hope my views will help should you decide to do so. Good luck.

Answer 3

A friend of mine told me he was gay and the group of friends I hang with could not believe it well because of some of the things he would joke about. For example his jokes always had to do with woman. So we never would of thought that he was, but when he told us we accepted him and didnt treat him any different because he was honest with us and thats the best way to be. If your not honest with them then your not being honest with yourself. Put it this way if your hiding it then do you really respect yourself and believe in yourself. If they cant accept it give them time because its a new phase for them and it will take time for them to understand what you are entrusting to them. In the long run everything will work out. You may lose a few close people but then how close where they really to you if they cant treat you like they did before you shared something so personal and meaningful to them. You can even writed down how you want to share this with them and say it in the mirror it will give you time to practice and give you time to think about how you will want to tell them and give you confidence in yourself. Good luck

Answer 4

Send invitations for a "coming out" party, they will get the idea. Those who truly love and support you will be delighted to attend. Those less comfortable will not feel so "on the spot," and can decline, or contact you to get together in a more private setting.

Answer 5

First of all, be truly honest with them. You should always be totally honest......it will be a difficult thing for them to understand , but you can do it.....

The great thing about our family and friends is that they love us for whom we are and always will.

If things do not go as well as you think that they should....maybe give it some time and talk to the ones that have the issues with it later...remember, some times it takes a bit of time and space for folks to mull everything over.....

Answer 6

I totally agree with Jasmine! You go girl!

Answer 7

Just tell them they love you if i was them i would not judge them i would try to let them know my door was always open for them.

Answer 8

send each one a i'm coming out card!! then throw your self a little party, good for you

Answer 9

just tell them straight out

Answer 10

bring your boyfrind/girlfriend to dinner