I give my 7 year old everything. I feel guilty that i divorced his dad and broke up our happy family and am with another guy. He gets to go to hawaii with me, got a brand new bike for his bday. (his bday celebration lasts four days now), goes on trips with just me all the time. I got a brand new convertable that I call his. I attend all his school events and found him an awesome day campt to attend while i work. why does he still seem so miserable?
2006-07-04 11:37:19 · 9 answers · asked by lynnanne79 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Because it sounds like; you are with this guy for money. You said you broke up a "happy family", And you you never talked about how this new guy treats your son. OR if you loved him. And your son definitely misses his dad.
2006-07-04 11:45:27 · answer #1 · answered by MandyHawk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
money can't buy love nor peace of mind. your relationship with his father is over. it is not your fault. it takes two to be in a relationship. divorce means it was not a happy family. i doubt very seriously if the kid is blaming anyone. he just possibly is missing the presence of his father. gifts, trips, toys and fancy cars will not replace this. cut it out. allow his father to spend time with him. keep attending his school events but lay off the gifts. the most important thing is to ask the child if he's okay, a seven year-old generally, don't state that their miserable. adults/parents do! why do you think he's miserable? or is it you thats having some regrets. think about it before you make your next move.
2006-07-04 18:52:52 · answer #2 · answered by Sam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change is something we all must go through.
He may be missing his father.
His self security is threatened
His innocence about family is being disturbed
There may be several more reasons from changing schools, friends, neighbourhood, loss of relatives, feeling like he belongs etc.
You are doing right by talking with him. Be his best friend, perhaps he even misses what time you use to spend with him that is now taken by your new partner.
Your dilemma is a common one that comes with divorce, Hawaii a new bike and cars are a pacification to your guilt with him.
Your time, persistence and love is what will cure all :)
2006-07-04 19:06:41 · answer #3 · answered by Keanu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the answer to that question. I can tell by the way you said it. Your trying to buy everything he wants to make him feel better. It won' t work and you know it. If a guy broke your heart and he refuses to come back to you, but he buys you a 25k ring, would that make it all go away? I think not. You would need time and understanding from your friends and loved ones. You would need to know that the people in your life still love you very much and they would show it by listening to you and being there when you need them. Not by buying you gifts and saying they are all so sorry for the break-up.
2006-07-04 18:45:03 · answer #4 · answered by qtee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
feeling quilty because you divorced is normal i think but what your doing is wrong heres my reason even though you divorced his dad your giving him what he wants from your own guilt .do you want him to grow up and give everyone everything he can from guilt? i think we as parents owe it to our children to spend quality time with them and make them understand the ways of the world respect, and responability come with this task you made a decision to divorce thats ok obviously you felt that was best for you move on and stop giving your son everything maybe you should reward him for chores or give him money when he gets an a on his report card and then tell him he will have his own money when you take him on the wonderful trips either way make him earn these things and you will both feel better trust me
2006-07-04 18:53:21 · answer #5 · answered by lisaisfunn1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Giving a child things does not make him feel loved. He wants your time and attention. Does he like the new guy? If not, find out why. You are making some serious mistakes her. You cannot buy love and happiness.
2006-07-04 18:48:27 · answer #6 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay yeah so your trying to give him everything you can just to keep him happy and im pretty sure he is but its just that hes a 7 year old boy and doesnt understand why you and your ex got divorced....he misses being a happy family....hes just so used to it....its just going to take him time to get over it....but keep doing what your doing and just pay a lot of attention to him....talk to him about it....ask him how he feels....ask him every now and then how he is....
2006-07-04 18:46:55 · answer #7 · answered by stephanie d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you asked him why he still seems so miserable?
maybe instead of things he wants a mom
2006-07-04 18:42:14 · answer #8 · answered by Kandela 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am guessing that he misses his dad.............
2006-07-04 18:42:23 · answer #9 · answered by statenislanddreamer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋