I made this up a few minutes ago....
When all your world is crumbling down,
With no hope of coming back up,
And soul leaves body, heart leaves mind,
You sit and wonder what went wrong.
When all your knowledge amounts to nothing,
When faith is shaken by failure,
All you can truly do...
Is try harder.
Achieve what you dream of,
No matter how ridiculous,
No matter how many people say you will fail,
Just continue on the path of your dreams.
When nobody believes in you,
Not anyone at all,
All you can do...
Is believe in yourself.
Do what you do for you, not others,
It is your life to live,
Not there's,
Follow your heart through thick and thin.
When you want to know what you did wrong,
Don't sit and wonder about it,
Try again.........
So you can figure it out.
Follow your dreams,
Do what makes you happy,
It is up to you,
To continue on the path of your heart.
2006-07-04 11:31:24 · 17 answers · asked by ~S~ is for Stephanie! 6 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
I really love this poem! It makes so much sense. You have real talent if you just made that up.
2006-07-04 11:37:34 · answer #1 · answered by cinderellagirl360 1 · 4⤊ 3⤋
It's o.k. Its full of a lot of common cliches and themes. Try adding some original twists. Who hasn't heard "Pursue your dreams," "Believe in yourself" or "Its better to try and fail than to have never attempted anything." Add some symbolism so that your point is not so direct. In the best poems, the reader will see something new each time they read it.
2006-07-05 22:30:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like your poem. I thought it was very good. And I agree with the last answerer who said that poems that don't rhyme are better because they're more heartfelt. I really like your use of language...I love the phrase "It is up to you, to continue on the path of your heart."
My one suggestion is that you change the "there's" to a "theirs" because there's is a contraction meaning there is.
2006-07-04 18:54:49 · answer #3 · answered by laney_po 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The poem isn't bad, but I don't think you've ever been deeply depressed. I recommend the book Prozac Nation for inspiration.
2006-07-04 18:50:02 · answer #4 · answered by Olwen C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I liked it. I [try to] write poems too. My favorite poems are one's that don't rhyme because they're more heartfelt.
2006-07-04 18:47:34 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought it was very good. As good as ones I have read in poetry books.
2006-07-04 18:50:58 · answer #6 · answered by purplewindow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's actually really good, its not confusing at all. Sounds like u really know what your talking about.
2006-07-04 18:44:27 · answer #7 · answered by texascowboyd 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like it. its a happy, keep on truckin kinda message
btw, it would be "not theirs" instead of "not there's". lol sorry but i felt the need to correct it ;). i liked the poem
2006-07-04 19:05:56 · answer #8 · answered by chikka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very touching can u write a poem for me lol
2006-07-04 18:36:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is a very good poem i am sure u worked hard on it !good job
2006-07-04 18:36:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋