how do you get your grown kids to let you see your grandchildren they blame me for everything I have apologize

Question

i wasn't best mother in world but i love them and took care of them by myself.i made a lot of mistakes and have said so to them. they now use my grandchildren against me

Answer 1

That is very sad. You said you weren't the best mom in the world but it sounds like you did your best. We all make mistakes. They will too. It sounds like you have done all you can do. Pray. (I'll do the same for you!)

Answer 2

After a lifetime of experiance with something that in they're eyes was traumatizing they are well within parental rights to protect their children from the same things and apologies just aren't enough.The best you can do is show regular proof to your children you've changed or are positively changing what ever it was that separated you from each other. Work first on the relationship between you and your kids before getting with the grandkids your both less likely to tramatize them with the argument, if you can convince them see if you can get them to go with you to family counseling to try and work the issues out. If they do let you start seeing the grandkids go over ahead of time with your child their parent what in their eyes is and isn't appropiate or allowed.They may let you see them at least regularly on watched visits if you agree to meet the kids under their terms and rules. There is no right way to make them let you see them and the only times I've heard of a grandparent getting custody is if they showed the parents were unreliable and the grandparent had a clean record. This is the best I can recommend.

Answer 3

go to the court house ask about grandparent rights. you can get leagal visistation to see them. as for them using your grandchildren against you that isn't right cuz all they are doing is hurting the children in the long run. everyone makes mistakes. my mom was a single and raised 6 children even though she made mistakes with us we appreciate her for it. i don't know how bad your mistakes have been but how about bringing up family therepy. therepy will let everyones feeling against each other out and will safely help everyone get over whatever happened in the past. but to the extrem case court can help but that could make everything worse but still you see your grand kids so think about it all and how it will be in the future on the kids. hope i helped some

Answer 4

Your first priority should be trying to reconcile with your children. the grand children are a benefit not a given right.

You need to continue to try to mend whatever breaks in that relationship. You need to let them vent/ talk as much as they need to until they actually "feel" like you've really heard them.

Unfortunately, grandparent's rights are rarely inforced as the united states supreme court in 2000 voted to say that parents have the right to raise their chidlren the way they see fit and this includes keeping grandparents out of the childrens lives if they see a good reason. WORK ON THE RELATIONSHIP with your kids without expectations and maybe, just maybe the grandkids will be in your future. :)

Best of luck to you on this one!

Answer 5

That's a tough one. My mom and dad have made some mistakes too, but as a mom, so have I with my girls. I don't think any of us are perfect. I think it's pretty crappy of them to do that, maybe you could try to see if they would be willing to go to some type of 3rd party mediator to discuss the issues, and perhaps help shed some light for them. Also, if you really want to see them and can't, then there are legal avenues to pursue, as a biological grandparent, you can take them to court for visitation. Don't know if that's an avenue you want to pursue, but it's an option. Hope this helps.

Answer 6

I don't know where you live but since 1991 in Canada you can actually file for visitation rights as a grandparent. Check into you local Civil court laws and see if it's the same there.

Answer 7

You really sound like you are trying. My kids grandmother is so selfish and such a deadbeat she doesn't even come around to see them.
She calls and asks about them every 6 months. I want her to have a relationship with her grandchildren but she doesn't care.

Keep trying.

Answer 8

I would suggest family counseling with your children and yourself. They need to hear from someone else that parents are only human as well and they make mistakes. Sometimes, when something really horrible happens between parents and children like abuse or otherwise, this cannot be dealt with and you may simply have to accept their position.

Answer 9

let them know that as their own children get older they too will make mistakes as parents that they will have to realize and learn from no one is perfect let them know parenting isn't easy all the books you read and advice you get doesn't help you make the mistake and learn from it and grow your kids should forgive you and let you see the grandbabies because even if we aren't the best parents to our kids we are great grandparents

Answer 10

I feel really bad for you, my father is going through the same thing with my sister, he never gets to see her daughter because of the past...at least he has my kids, but for you, it's hard if they can't get past stuff. How 'bout asking if your kids will see a counsellor with you, it could really help develop their trust. Good luck!