What can an adult female employee say to her boss and customers to stop calling her "the girl"?

Answer 1

Politely pull your boss aside (make sure no one else is within hearing, so you aren't undercutting his or her authority) and say, "I know you don't mean anything by it, but I'd appreciate it if you could call me by my name instead of just "the girl." Chances are good that the boss will apologize and start calling you by your name. Once that happens, as customers refer to you as "the girl" just smile and say, "It's Mary" or whatever your name is. Eventually they'll get the hint.

If, however, your boss insists on calling you "the girl", you're probably just going to have to grin and bear it. It isn't really harassment. Of course, in that case you'd probably want to start looking for another job, because you really don't want to work for anyone who would purposely ignore that sort of request.

Answer 2

To the boss, remind him of the sexual harassment laws in your state, and that you do not appreciate him referencing you by your apparent age and gender. Ask him to use your name.

If he starts doing it, the new customers won't get in the habit. The old customers may note the change and start calling you by name.

Also, for the customers, get yourself a pretty name tag (just your first name) and wear it on the right side of your blouse or dress, on your chest, at armpit level. This is the side they will see first. They may start calling you by name, because they will know it.

Oh, yeah, don't forget a big smile (positive reinforcement) when anyone calls you by name instead of the "girl".

Answer 3

Put on a French Maid outfit and tell them you are the "woman".