I have been in a very loving relationship with the man of my dreams. We decided to have a baby, everything was perfect, then we had a silly argument over his ex wife and the time he spends with her, now he wants nothing to do with me, he wont even take my calls. I am now 18 weeks pregnant and dont know what to do? He has moved back in with his ex wife, but insisted they were just friends and she was helping out as he had nowhere else to stay.
2006-07-04 10:02:09 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What do i do now, I have tried to call, him, text him, everything, but he want answer or reply, shall i just give up and move on?
2006-07-04 10:03:20 · update #1
I feel for you so much, but darling i am ging to be cruel to be kind here, move on, he is not interested, he is a waste of your time and energy. He is the real loser here not you, you have your baby to look forward too, he has nothing, he will regret his decision in the future, dont let him have a look in with your baby in a few years when it suits him - be strong XXX
2006-07-06 04:40:42 · answer #1 · answered by amn2@btinternet.com 1 · 4⤊ 1⤋
You poor thing! do you have any family or friends you can turn to? Does his ex-wife know about the baby? Men can be such arseholes at completely the wrong time!! Perhaps he is scared of commitment again, do you know why he split up with his ex wife? I think you need to take control of the situation, concentrate on the important things first like making sure you have a home for you and the baby. He may just need some space, they usually come crawling back after a few days. If he doesn't i suggest you start planning for the future as a single mum. If he wants to split up for good, its his lost, if he wants to be part of your life then he has got to realise that you are concerned about him spending time with her. You really need to sit down and talk to him, maybe get his ex to set up a meeting for you both if she is willing, or write him a letter. I find that letters are an excellent way to express your true feelings without ending up shouting at each other!! GOOD LUCK!!! Lots of hugs!!!
2006-07-04 10:17:12 · answer #2 · answered by cuddlymummy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, yes, yes. Move on. He is not worth your frustrations. A relationship is built on trust, love and giving. He has none of these qualities. He is not responsible either. There are so many young girls in your predicament because they don't make the right choices for a life partner. It is always much better to be married to someone with the right qualities and morals before even thinking about becoming pregnant. I know that you can't change the past but, you can change the future. You and your baby deserve more than this.person. Have your baby, go to school and church. You will meet the right person if you respect and think highly of yourself.
2006-07-04 10:14:14 · answer #3 · answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now, even though your heart is telling you diffferently and you feel very lonely, you need to prepare yourself for your new family...your baby and you.
He needs to be held accountable and thinks that no contact with you will mean no child support. You and your child will need that money to survive. You are entitled to it and don't feel one bit guilty.
No ex, is going to take their ex back just because he needs a place to live. He did have somewhere else to stay.....with you. He oculd have made amends and come back home.
How lucky you are to now now that the commitment is not there so that your baby can have you as a loving parent focused on giving each of you the best life possible.
don't wait on the child support. Let him know now through an attorney that he is reswponsible for the baby and that you do expect him to take part in the baby's life even of you are not involved with him any longer.
2006-07-04 11:52:33 · answer #4 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you love this man, but think about it, do you really need the stress? do you honestly think he not back with his ex wife?Concentrate on your self and your unborn baby you will be happier in the long run.From experience I was left when I was pregnant (4 week because i refuse to have an abortion I went through the pregnancy alone and this was hard,my son is now 3yrs and he makes me so happy.there is light at the end of the tunnel.I 'm now engage to a wonderful man who loves my son.all things are possible with God.
2006-07-04 23:57:43 · answer #5 · answered by satacruz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hummmm just a good guess, but im guessing he's the one that wanted out of the marriage the first time around.. DING DING DING.. if im right then hun why on earth did u think this man would change his spots?? A man that leaves his family in the first place should spell signs of trouble.. if their capable of doing it once their capable of doing it again.. not to say that their arent some that do it for extremely good reasons.. but heck if he talks to her so much and moved back in with her, she couldnt of been all that bad.. Yep time to move on and get a lawyer..and get the Child support rolling.. dont go calling him, emailing him texting him.. he left you and your unborn child.. he should be the one begging for you back not u begging for him back.. more u call him the more power you give him, and ur the one that needs the power to be strong.. other then him getting served by your lawyers.. SCREW HIM.. make him beg for you back, and to tell you the truth i dont think he's worthy of you, if he was he wouldnt be treating u so horribly.. go find a real man someone that will treat you and your baby with respect and not throw you out like garbage when ever it suits his needs.. I know its hard, i know u love him.. but hun, that baby needs you and your love more..
BE STRONG
and GOOD LUCK
2006-07-04 10:13:34 · answer #6 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consult a lawyer to get things sorted out about the baby when it comes.
For Example...
Will the child have his surname?
Will he be named on the Birth Cretificate?
Will he want to take an active part in the child's upbringing?
Will he want visitation rights?
How much Maintenance will he have to pay you?
You need to get as much of this sorted out before the baby arrives because it will be hard enough being a single parent without the extra stress of organising things then.
Look at it like this...If this is the type of man he is then you have had a lucky escape. You could have ended up married to him & you deserve better.
2006-07-04 11:13:51 · answer #7 · answered by monkeyface 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The sad thing is that he had an ex wife who he couldn't seem to get over so that is why he is back with her not due to no place to live. Leave him alone and do the best you can with the child your carrying right now. The ex wife should realize also what a bum he is for doing this to you, but he will get his due in time.
2006-07-04 10:11:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid its time to forget him....if he cant stand by you in your time of need he is not worth your time....not only has he left you but also his baby...a caring dad? i don't think so....sit down and ask your self the following question...
he still spent time with his ex wife...why?
now its time to think of your self....do you want to be a single mother...could you manage on your own. don't forget you will be on your own looking after a baby twenty four hours a day seven days a week fifty two weeks a year..
if on the other hand you want to get your life back on track you might decide to have an abortion....if you do have it done now don't wait....but please remember some people after having an abortion go on for years wishing they had never had it done..
what ever you decide i wish you all the best
2006-07-04 12:23:50 · answer #9 · answered by spotonmybum01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say he is the man of your dreams. But is he? Did you dream that he would get you pregnant and take off. Don't believe for a minute that he is going to come around, if he moved back in with his ex, that speaks volumes. You need to take care of you. You will need support through all this go to your family & friends. And please make sure that he takes care of your child when it is born. Even if he is not there for it. He needs to be finacially responsible.
I wish you and your baby the best of luck.
2006-07-04 10:30:06 · answer #10 · answered by Kali_girl825 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont call him, dont speak to him. This guy left you because he regarded his ex more than you; thats his loss, sweetie, not yours. He had been conning you with this "just friends for months, and just wanted the excuse to go. See a lawyer about child support and make sure you get it. And theres one thing- if she was his ex, then they didnt get on.....they will get on even less the second time around, so he will come sneaking back and treating her same as he did you- dont let him in!!! There are decent men out there- youll find one!!! Best wishes.
2006-07-04 10:16:31 · answer #11 · answered by k0005kat@btinternet.com 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋