Me and my husband have only been married for 2 years. We already have many problems with each other. I have figured out that he is a complete slob, and that I can't change that. He is a sports fanatic with season tickets to every football team around. He also races modified cars, which gets very expensive. I have caught him in a bunch of "little white lies" but he just says he didn't want to make me mad. We have a 13 month old son, so I would do anything to keep our marriage together for him, but how long do you put up with it? When is it time in a marriage to throw in the towel, how many fights does it take. How many hurtful words can one person handle before it's too much?
2006-07-04 09:52:53 · 11 answers · asked by ll22 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can tell you from experience that You need communication, trust, and compromise. ~Bon
2006-07-04 11:14:39 · answer #1 · answered by Bon Bon 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
First off , beneath all the madness, do u still love him?? If yes then anythings possible.. first realize this is still a very young marriage, and it takes years to get it down to a science.. but the biggest keys in a marriage is Love , Communication , and Compromise.. if you and your husband cant communicate and compromise maybe its time to seek a marriage counselor. Now a counselor isnt a true fix, but they can teach you both the tools to help work out your own problems.. If he wont go to counseling then you go by yourself and they will help you find ways to deal with him on your own.. i wouldnt throw in the towel just yet though.. give it a chance , sometimes men just need a swift kick in the butt to realize what they have and what they very well could lose.. so stay strong, one of you has to be the "grown up" in this household for your son
Good luck
2006-07-04 17:05:41 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sacrifice, compromise and communication are key in any relationship. If you are catching him in "little white lies", then you both need to work on you communication skills. If he's verbally abusing you, then you guys need to be in marriage counseling. If that doesn't work, then you either take it for the rest of your life and your son will grow up thinking that this is appropriate behavior and treats his girfriend/wife the same way or you see an attorney and start divorce proceedings and go to counseling yourself to learn to repair the damage your husband has done so you can be a better mother to your son.
Good luck!
2006-07-05 13:13:58 · answer #3 · answered by Angie P. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriages last when the people involved are not selfish......From what you have written, you are both selfish. People always have disagreements. Sit down and talk. Make compromises. Can you join him in his interests? You knew that he liked sports when you were dating him. If he is spending money that you really don't have, let him see the bills. If he won't stop then, he will have to suffer the consequences of the bill collectors. Don't nag him.. Stop the hurtful words. They don't help they only make things worse. Talk to a marriage counselor even if you have to go alone.
2006-07-04 17:26:17 · answer #4 · answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to always keep the Lord in your life.... Try sitting him down with no distractions and talking to him and telling him straight out how you feel, and ask him if he is willing to change some things, or even go to marriage counceling. If none of that works then go to the Lord. He will have the answers for you.
2006-07-04 16:58:25 · answer #5 · answered by Piper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will only last if you both want it to. First you both have to identify if there is a problem. If you are the only one that sees it...it could be a problem. If he truly loves you and sees that some of his behavior hurts you he will work on it. Don't try to change him overnight. You fell for the man that he is...it is tough and maybe unfair to change him into the man you want.
2006-07-04 17:20:16 · answer #6 · answered by simi-guy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you should try to stick it out. I've been married for seven years and we are going though alot now.If you still have any love for him talk about it and try doing things with him.Tell him that he hurts you and let him know that lying can not be tolerated.When you talk to him and tell him what bother you and he is willing to change keep him because he CARE about the way you feel.But if he is not willing to change try counseling before you leave.I know it hurts and you really want to be happy. Good luck and keep your head up.
2006-07-04 17:59:53 · answer #7 · answered by missmadhatter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love alone makes marriages last, don't you know yourself that your marriage is going to last ? I think not otherwise you wouldn't be asking the question. My husband and I know 100 per cent that we'll always be together and we've always known that even when times have been really very hard.
2006-07-04 17:11:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sacrifice!
Love gives and does not take away.
Hang in there, your husband will one day grow up! Take him to a marriage conference to learn from Tim Downs and Dennis Rainey. They teach us men How to love our wife!
I learned it. Thanks Tim and Dennis.
Love ya'll.
2006-07-04 16:57:39 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you must make up your mind, be strict nobody can change his nature even if he would, rule is divorce now better than later
2006-07-04 17:20:53 · answer #10 · answered by zazo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋