What is the best way to restore dignity and respect amongst your friends and especially with your girlfriend?

Question

Through a breakdown and depressive time whereby a very lengthy relationship ended coincedentley with a heart wrenching decision to close a business I had given blood for over 6 years - a business that was my dream, I in trying to manage and survive all that was happening did silly embarassing things which I regret - my ex girlfriend told most of our friends about my various exploits none of which were hurtful , at first I was angry that she had told people I felt could only do more damage to me - I already felt suitably punished by the shame , guilt and the acknowledgement voluntarily to some - however I am passed that and I wish to desperately restore some pride and credibility to my life , it seems the mad moments have passed but few people have taken much sympathy to my plight which involves medication , therapy and a difficult period of rebuilding my life pretty much alone and finding a new lifes direction all of this on my 40th birthday , some good constructive advice is needed

Answer 1

You need to persevere and believe in your ability to succeed. Some of the greatest successes have come after the greatest failures. If your belief in your own reality is stronger than those of your ex and your friends, they will also believe your reality and doubt their own.

Summary: Know that you have dignity and respect yourself--don't just say that you do, ACTUALLY believe it. Only then will others believe you.

Answer 2

Ooooh-Kay... you're pretty wordy, there...

So... you had some unhappy stuff happen, lost a business, lost a girlfriend, lost most of your friends, and now want to re-build your life, preferably with those people......

Unfortunately, the only way to restore dignity and respect is through time, and a show of those things for yourself. If you begin acting in a dignified and respectable manner, others will begin to view you with dignity and respect. You may never regain your girlfriend or your other friends, but at least you will like and respect the man you see each morning in the mirror.

I'm glad you are doing better, and hope your life continues to improve.

Answer 3

Love yourself first. Apologize to people that you know you've hurt or embarrased. Start telling people that you suffer from whatever you have and explain the things that you go through during those times. Join a therapy group and invite your loved ones. People that really love you will forgive and support your willingness to seek help. Pray for your health, guidence and understanding.

I dated a man with Manic Depression for twelve years, very difficult to do. The biggest problem he had was acknowleging his condition and taking his medication. To me that says he didn't want to get better.

Answer 4

Well here's what I would do in the situation, it's not going to necessarily be helpful but it's write with good intention...

I would talk to the mirror, as crazy as it sounds it sometimes helps me. I would tell myself that I'm higher than all that mortal crap down there and that I don't give a flying **** about anyone or anything judging me.
If this won't help me to rebuild self belief I would move a town and try to rebuild my life by starting all over.

Answer 5

How about meeting some new people? You could join interest groups for hobbies you have.

I these people can't understand that you had some bad times with mental illness and did some silly things then maybe it is time to move on. It is pretty disrespectful for your ex to tell them personal things anyway. Good people to fill your life are hard to find but are very worth it!

Answer 6

I hope that you are immensely proud of yourself, for working your way through your illness. It seems that you have not been surrounded by people who have nurtured and defended you through this difficult time and it is THEY who should be looking to restore their credibility with YOU. May I suggest that you take on a way of helping others? Animals, the Elderly, people who have been through what you are emerging from? There is nothing like being useful to others to restore pride and to give one's life purpose. It will also display to others that you are moving forward and grasping your life. You are obviously educated and eloquent, and I detect lack of self pity and determination in your words. May I offer you my very best wishes for a happy future.

Answer 7

The only thing that will heal you and your pride is God. Prayer ,God and time heals all wounds. If your friends cannot forgive you for making some embarrassing mistakes then you need to look for new friends. Another thing to do is read about the problems you are having, I don't know what problems you are having but I do know your probably not the only one to experience these particular problems.AND take your medication, daily with prayer! God Bless

Answer 8

I am glad to hear that you are working your situations with a professional. Your real friends will be the ones that will stick by you no matter what. If you know that the things that were said were not real, then dont worry about it. Your real friends will know to get past that and have your back.

Answer 9

Ask the lord Jesus for help man. He knows a lot and can definitely help u out there. If ure not spiritually inclined, seek christian (true christian) counselling about the matter.