What can I do to show a SHY GUY that it's ok for him to talk to me.....HELP PLEASE?
me and this guy have been giving each other strong eye contact and alot of people are noticing what we are doing....i'm shy but i want to get to know this guy it's been a month going through this with him. the thing that bothers me is he is a drill instructor i thought drill instructors are strong and bold.... he'll look at me and turn away real fast when i look or catch him looking...everyone that has noticed him doing this say that he's shy....or he doesn't knoe how to approach me.....i want him to know that i'm interested in him what sign do i show him? i don't want to look desperate...please help...i have said hi to him he said hi back and he gives that gazing look.....i'm sooo confused with this
2006-07-04 09:29:40 · 12 answers · asked by mrs. MJ 3 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
my friends said they would help me out by talking to him but i feel that i'm not in jr high i don't need that i'm 21 i feel that i should do this myself
2006-07-04 09:41:50 · update #1
Just a start a conversation about something you think you both might be interested in...There shouldn't be many people around...If you start doing that enough, he may "gain enough courage" i guess to have longer talks or whatever and then have a relationship. He's probably interested in you b/c he looks at you and then turns away real fast...He probably doesn't have enough courage to start a conversation with a girl he likes so you may have to take the first step. I think he'd be interesting in going out with you though. Just be nice and kind...If you smile like somebody on here already said, you can make somebody's day in a way and get them to open up more than they usually do - a genuine smile that is! I hope this helps.
2006-07-04 09:35:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
First ask yourself as a shy person do you think dating another shy person would be the best match for you? Or would dating a more outgoing person lead to you becoming more outgoing yourself. Although being with another shy person may seem comforting and safe...would that really challenge your growth as a person? or would the two of you just enable your shyness even more? If just talking to each other is THIS hard maybe you should really take a look at that and decide if trying to shove a square peg into a round hole is the best way to go.
2006-07-04 21:42:30 · answer #2 · answered by BinkBink 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't state if this drill instructor is a superior of yours in the military or not, but if he is, you need to find someone that is available to you. He could be in trouble for fraternization if he pursues a relationship with you.
If that is not an issue, He is trained to be tough and in his element, he is master. He probably has difficulty dealing with situations that he is not a master and it is likely that social interaction is one of those areas.
You could benefit by doing a little research on drill instructors in his branch of the service. Then be the guide for him in the social battlefield. Talk to him and start asking questions about things you want to know about his job, get him talking about things with which he is comfortable. When it comes time for, "will we see each other again." Just come out and tell him what is Ok. If you want him to call you, "Say, You can call me if you'd like to. I want you to call me." If you want to have dinner, tell him, "You can take me to dinner, if you'd like. I'd like that."
You are telling him what is ok to do and if you have some rapport through talking with him a while, he will be comfortable doing it. Don't ask him. Let him ask you. He needs to be able to say he did it, not that you did it.
Be ready for a macho person that has difficulty expressing emotions. If this is what you want in a person, go for it, but beware!
2006-07-04 10:16:42 · answer #3 · answered by Ken C. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may sound silly but I have found that smiling and saying hi, are very effective. It's a good way to break the ice if you are shy because you are not doing anything forward. Plus it sends the message to him "I noticed you noticing me."
2006-07-04 09:36:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right, you should do it by yourself. Start talking to him. Then ask him questions about himself. Most people enjoy talking about themselves...no pressure, just see where it goes from there. Good Luck!
2006-07-04 10:22:22 · answer #5 · answered by chantrss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what are you two doing when you two stare at each other? take that and talk to him about whatever it is that you two are doing. both of you have that much in common with each other so just talk to him about that.
or you can do what Hillary clinton done when she was noticing Bill Clinton stare at her at the same college that they were attending. I takeing this to be true because it one of Bill's stories from his book. He said that Hillary had noticed him stareing at her so she decided to just walk up to him and said I have noticed that you have been stareing at me so just come out with it and ask me out if your going to.........LOL its funny but it work for them. they were married a year or so later.
2006-07-04 09:44:42 · answer #6 · answered by coloneltucker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just comfort him in a way he would want to talk 2 u as in help him out when he needs it or start talking 2 him and make a conversation!!!!!
2006-07-04 09:35:33 · answer #7 · answered by mia j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the age difference?
If you are underage, he will be in big trouble if he hits on you.
If you are in the "puppy love" stage ... be careful about your intepretation - things are not what you think or see.
Drill instructors are trained to stare ... part of the profile.
2006-07-04 09:39:09 · answer #8 · answered by r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to him, he'll figure it out.
2006-07-04 09:32:07 · answer #9 · answered by Spike Spiegel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him out to lunch, breakfast, dinner, snack just get some alone time then usually nature takes it course
2006-07-04 20:57:31 · answer #10 · answered by Chris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋