What can I do to show a SHY GUY that it's ok for him to talk to me.....HELP PLEASE?
me and this guy have been giving each other strong eye contact and alot of people are noticing what we are doing....i'm shy but i want to get to know this guy it's been a month going through this with him. the thing that bothers me is he is a drill instructor i thought drill instructors are strong and bold.... he'll look at me and turn away real fast when i look or catch him looking...everyone that has noticed him doing this say that he's shy....or he doesn't knoe how to approach me.....i want him to know that i'm interested in him what sign do i show him? i don't want to look desperate...please help...i have said hi to him he said hi back and he gives that gazing look.....i'm sooo confused with this
2006-07-04 09:28:38 · 9 answers · asked by mrs. MJ 3 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Your'e both dancing around each other worrying about getting hurt. He's dying to talk to you, but he's intimidated because your'e so good looking so it'll be hard for him to make the 1st move. He doesn't realize that most other guys are like that too so thats why you are dateless. Ditch your girlfriends for awhile and go up to him alone and just start talking....."nice day"..etc....Do this a couple times..if he duznt suggest a date by say conversation # 4, you can suggest a movie and starbucks this saturday around 7pm or just give up on this guy because he might have more issues than just being "shy". Lastly you say you don't want to "look desperate"...You won't. If you approach him you'll be doing him a BIG FAVOR. Go 4 it.
2006-07-04 14:45:48 · answer #1 · answered by Pepe LePeu 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I'm a shy guy, so I think I'm answering from the right perspective. If I wanted "the green light" to talk to someone, I guess I should gather up the courage to talk to her, especially with that much gazing going on. The gazing should have been a sign that it's okay to at least make conversation. You may have to start a conversation. Ask questions to find out what he likes, or ask him to give an opinion about something that happened in your common area. For example, if you worked together, you might make up small talk about a new company polic, or a new hire. No juicy gossip, just chit-chat. That should loosen him up at least a bit. Hope this helps!
2006-07-04 16:39:49 · answer #2 · answered by O M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is all very movie-like isn't it.
I had a "train crush" similar to this situation except I didn't have the balls to say anything, I didn't even get to the Hi stage.....
Can you imagine my deep deep regret????? Now I don't catch that train anymore so he's gone forever........
Please for the love of god, say something. Something that's guaranteed to get a response from him, or a chuckle (which is better).
E.g.
So I thought drill instructors were strong, what happened to you?
So I was gonna ask you since your a drill instructor, if you could show me how to use my new drill I got last week? Or your not that kind of drill instructor???
(it's sounding lame isn't it...)
Hey ..........., help me with something, my friend has a dilemma. She wants to ask this guy out but she's not sure how. Any suggestions???
If u don't risk it, u'll live with regret like me. Do anything, please. I even took a swig of hard liquor at 7:30AM to the calm nerves, but that morning he wasn't there, so I was sorta drunk at work...
Best of luck
2006-07-04 21:08:17 · answer #3 · answered by Nattas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Research a little on drill instructors in his branch of the service and start a conversation with him. He is strong and bold in his element, at work. I'm guessing he hasn't had as much training and experience in the social 'battle field.'
You need to guide him through. Start a conversation, ask about his job, ask specific probing question that are not answered with Yes, Ma'am and No Ma'am. Get him talking about things with which he is comfortable.
Then, when it comes time to make plans to meet again or not, just come right out and tell him what you want, but say it like this:
You can call me if you'd like to. I would like that.
I would like it, if you asked me to dinner.
That makes it easy for him to ask you for a next date, but he is allowed to ask, so he won't have to be embarrassed by saying you asked him out or you got his number or you gave him your number and told him to call. He saves face because you allowed him to be the asker.l
This guy will probably always have trouble expressing his feelings and will probably always be macho and tough. If that is what you are looking for, go for it, but be fore-warned. Many people are not up for a relationship with a military personality.
2006-07-04 17:24:59 · answer #4 · answered by Ken C. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not catch him alone sometime and ask him if he'd like to go and have a soda with you? That will force some kind of response from him.
2006-07-04 20:19:50 · answer #5 · answered by purplewings123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O.K just go up to him and tell him,"I noticed you have been watching me lately and I was wondering can we go out sometimes or could I have your number and we could talk sometimes", and see what he says or say something similar. I did the same to this one guy at Borders and trust me it works.
2006-07-05 02:42:36 · answer #6 · answered by Hotmom1216 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your time and talk to him as a person then ask him out
2006-07-04 19:55:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
as long as he is not your superior, just go up to him and start up a conversation or have your friends start up a conversation which they include you in. Baby steps work well.
2006-07-04 16:37:27 · answer #8 · answered by honiebee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are actually teaching me something. I'm a shy guy.
2006-07-04 16:31:40 · answer #9 · answered by vinible2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋