This is going back to my other question about the guy who alternates from being really mean to me and being really nice to me. But, of course, it doesn't seem like he only does it to me. Now, I know that some people say I shouldn't bother or that it's a waste of time. Well, if I can change someone's life for the better and stop their pain than I don't mind, as long as they don't hurt me. So how do I stop the spasing and help the real problem - if there is indeed one?
The other question yeilded that he may be one of the following -
Bi-polar
Post Traumatic Distress Disorder
Manic Depressive
Just Moody
Split Personality
P.S. I have to deal with him regularly, so even if I just ignored him he'd still be there. Possibly not spasing at me - but spasing none the less. AND IT'S NOT HEALTHY FOR ANYONE - HIM OR THE PEOPLE AROUND! So if, dear readers you can help me get to the bottom of this and to the stopping of this it would be lovely.
Thank you.I hope this explained it better.
2006-07-04 08:34:34 · 12 answers · asked by Doot 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You can only do so much like creating boundaries for yourself by telling him you disapprove of his behavior when he lashes out at you. As far as helping him get better, he has to admit he needs help and then go and get it. Guessing what disorder he has won't help, he would need to be diagnosed by a professional. I'm sure he knows the difference between right and wrong and wouldn't want people treating him the way he treats you or others so for you to be up front with him and calmly say,from now on if you are going to talk to me this way I will walk away and when you can be civil then we can discuss this. This might give him insight on his behavior and in that way you might be able to help him.
2006-07-04 09:15:21 · answer #1 · answered by mia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF this person really is of the personality you suggest, there is very ltitle that you would be able to do, unless you were a qualified clinical psychologist. Be careful not to make the change your responsibility, else there is a very high possibility you will get hurt....
Be considered about your own mental health here too - it can't be good for you having to be around an unpredicatable person who treats you so mean....
2006-07-04 18:37:14 · answer #2 · answered by bozogirlie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest trying to identify the positive aspects of the person and emphasizing those qualities, while attempting to ignore the "negative" qualities. If that doesn't work, convince the person to see a psychiatrist. Bipolar, manic-depression, just moody (all the same thing) have a biological basis and often Lithium is prescribed. PTSD and split-personality (aka dissociative identity disorder) have more severe causes and probably a psychiatrist would be necessary.
2006-07-04 16:51:04 · answer #3 · answered by mindful1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey...get this in your little head. He is not going to change and I know that you want to change him, but you cannot change him. Dont try to be a rescurer, that will backfire in the end and you will be the only one that will suffer the consecuences. Stay away from this guy because he is an abusive controlling man that does not appreciate you and you deserve sooooo much better than that. He is not gonna want your help, so I suggest, before things get worse that you stay away from him.
2006-07-04 17:44:49 · answer #4 · answered by boricua_chick_21 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can not change any one if they want to.But you have to alert so that he cant hurt you through any means.So you have to keep ur self keep one self guard and this does not mean that you will spoil ur life or career or work.How he makes you hurt then you decide the remedy for this rather than waisting the whole time for him.If you do so you cant advance in any thing.But dont let ur love goes,please.She cant live without you.
2006-07-04 15:50:53 · answer #5 · answered by Mehbooba 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try to put a bit of space between the two of you for a bit.You don't deserve to be treated badly by anyone.
If you really have concerns of mental health (I suffer from emotional / mental health issues myself) go to www.about.com
and look under health and then the Mental Health Section.You'll find TONS of info on different illness and what you can do to help your friend.
Best Wishes,
N
2006-07-04 21:15:47 · answer #6 · answered by moonstruck_ru 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Couple of thoughts:
1. Unsolicited 'help', especially with someone's personality, is rarely welcomed or seen as a good thing.
2. The best thing for you is to stop having expectations of how the person will act, or be as broas as you can with those expectations. It is easy for us to classify some people as 'friends', and expect them to act nicely towards us, and others as 'jerks', and expect them not to act nicely towards us.
This person seems to interchange acting as a friend and as a jerk, and it is difficult to categorize him in your mind. And you want to categorize him, because you are trying to figure out whether to treat him as a 'jerk' or as a 'friend'.
If you remove expectations, then nothing he does will surprise you, because you don't expect him to act in any specific way towards you. As far as your interactions with him, you can be nice, don't tell him anything you think is in confidence, and just let him be who he is. This is an acquaintance, not a friend. On his nice days, smile and greet him. On his bad days, politely greet him and stay out of his way. If he does not have your confidence, and you do not expect anything of him, nothing of his erratic behavior should be hurtful to you.
2006-07-04 15:47:35 · answer #7 · answered by LA_kinda_guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had to deal with an ex-girlfriend that was just like the person you are describing......it got so bad in the hurt department, and, like you, I could not avoid her, so I had to move away......it's still not far enough away, though........but it hurt less.......that wasn't much of a all-solving answer for you, but eventually, something similar may be your only choice......... :-)
2006-07-04 15:42:11 · answer #8 · answered by fiddlefix 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him some literature on some of these mood disorders. You can do it anonomously. Maybe he will do something about his behavior. But he has to acknowledge that he has a problem. Best wishes!
2006-07-05 00:05:59 · answer #9 · answered by Dancer3d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
going from nice to jerk does not classify as a mental illness but rather him just being a jerk. sounds like you are trying to make excuses for his behavior to make it ok. each of the illness listed (besides moody) generally does not invlove inflicting emtional turmiol on others manily if directed towards themselves.
2006-07-04 16:20:24 · answer #10 · answered by okieinne_00 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋