Divorced people please answer this...?

Question

I am probably going to file for divorce real soon from my husband. We have been married for almost 2 years. No one in my family has ever been divorced so I can't turn to them for advice. How do I make sure I get our 2 cats and dog? How do I make sure I get my house? I bought this house 3-4 years ago before we were married. Mine is the only name on the deed. I just want him to walk away, take his belongings and be done with it. I won't ask for any money or anything. I just really want to make sure I get the pets since I am much more suited to care for them than he is. All bills are in my name, I pay for my own car, etc. Any advice??? I want to make this as cheap and easy as possible.

*I live in Indiana
*No Kids
*He wants dog. Think just to spite me mostly.

Answer 1

Sorry to hear you'll are probably getting a divorce. it is a painful process, please take good care of yourself.

1. is mediation possible in your state? find out. if both of you'll agree, thats a very cost efficient way to get a divorce. if mediation is possible, make sure you'll choose an attorney (although the mediator does not have to be an attorney) who's neutral in preference - dont just go for one he recommends, he might be watching for his interests.

2. before going for point#1 above, ask your trusted ones for a really good lawyer - hopefully you'll have a few names. meet with a few of them, say you want to complete the divorce through mediation (or, if mediation does not work in your state, without going to court..) and help him/her work with you to chalk out what a "fair deal" would be. if it appears from the first meeting that the lawyer does not support mediation, be careful. also, the first meeting is usually free, after that it is usually $300/hr or higher.

3. the lawyer you meet in point#2 above is your counsel lawyer if you're going through mediation. if not through mediation, he/she's the one representing you, doing the paperwork. try and follow his/her advice throughout the process. also, maybe ask if he/she has a flat rate for the whole process.

4. as several posts already say, get a lawyer first.

hope this helps.

Answer 2

Sorry to hear about your pending break up, if there are no children between you it makes things less complicated. Every state is different, and in my state even counties are a little different. Hire an attorney make a list of what you want. If the house is in your name chances are you'll get it, but you will have to pay half the principal back to him that was paid while you were married. All charge card debt, assets will be divided. Any more they won't let you take your own bills and assets with you. At least where I live. Some place even require counseling before it's final. If you can't resolve things soon then get an attorney before he does.
I have been through this twice, one with kids, one without. The custody battle went all the way to the state supreme court. (I won) It was all very heartbreaking.
Good luck.

Answer 3

Perhaps you two can agree on a dissolution instead of a divorce. The only thing is you have to be able to agree on everything. I have no clue what they do legally about pets. Depending on where you live and the laws in that state your house may be a problem. I know that where I live the house ,regardless of who's name is on the deed or when it was purchased, it becomes half yours and half your spouses once you are married. The car that I bought during my previous marriage was also considered a marital asset and my ex had to agree he did not want the vehicle and I agreed I did not want his. That is the only thing we ever agreed on...lol. I would try to talk to your husband and see if you can compromise and avoid a messy divorce. They can get outrageously expensive. I am up to $20,000 and still going. Of course my divorce took 5yrs and I am still having a custody battle.

Answer 4

Like everyone has told you, get a lawyer. He can't have the house, his name isn't on it. As for the pets, it needs to be in the divorce decree that you want custody of them. Is he fighting you for them? Oh and by the way, divorce is never cheap unless you have absolutely no problems and the other party is not fighting you for anything. If that is the case, you can do the paperwork yourself and file it at the courthouse when you finished. If the other party will not sign the paperwork, then you might have a problem. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Go get yourself a divorce book from Barnes and Noble specific to your state or download a complaint for divorce in your state from the web. Just google for that. Follow the instructions, take it to the court which governs where you live and tell the clerk of court that you want to file for divorce. They'll help you. You are filing for divorce, you ask for what you want. He may sign on it and he may not. If he wanted to fight against you, he would be entitled to half of the APPRECIATION (not total value) of the value of the house during the marriage, regardless of the fact that your name is the only one on the deed and even if you were paying the mortgage alone throughout your marriage. All property accumulated during the marriage (including pension plans) or any value appreciation of property existing before the marriage is marital property divisible equiitably. As for pets, most courts treat them as property, so in your complaint papers, you won't find a special section for them. You might have to give something up to have them. However, even if the law calls them property, I would if I were you, put something in the complpaint you're filing about having affection and willingness to treat nicely and keep the pets. Judges realize that pets mean more to us than chairs.

Answer 6

First of all be sure to get an attorney and don't settle on the first one that you speak with. If your state is like mine, your husband really has no rights to your home because it is not actual marital property, but you can count on a fight over it. That is one of the reasons you need an attorney. Even though you and your husband might be able to agree on things it will all change once things start moving and you need to protect yourself and what you want out of this. Your attorney should be working for you at all times, if he/she is not, fire him/her and get a new one, I learned the hard way. Does your husband even want the pets? He might use them to try to get the best of you, but don't let him do it, you are strong!
I agree about not being able to turn to your family for advice, I was in the same situation. I learned a lot during the divorce process, including the fact that if you have never been through a divorce you don't know what it is like. Your family will try to support you and probably at times even try to change your mind about the divorce. Remeber that it is your life that you need to worry about and not what every one else might think or feel. Be ready for a lot of emotional moments before, during and after the divorce. I know how you feel about just wanting hime out, that is EXACTLY how I felt. It is so much better once he is gone, a lot less stress. The emotions for me had nothing to do with him, it was the stress that I felt at times from my family. They could not truly understand where I was coming from, how I felt about things, or even what I wanted out of life.
It has been 3 years since my divorce and I am much happier, I have found what I want in life and a man that makes me happier than I ever thought was possible. I know that you will be happier once you are where you really want to be in life.
GOOD LUCK!

Answer 7

I would talk to a lawyer and find out the laws of your state concering personal items, and martial items. I know in GA, and North Carolina, what ever you had before the marriage, and what ever a third party gives you is not considered martial items. And any bill that is in one persons name, that person is reliable for it. But, in Ky the law is very different. No matter how long you have had things, as soon as you get married, both are intiteled to half of the estate. Good luck, and hope that the state you live in is fair.

Answer 8

try just having a reasonable conversation, something like look this just didn't work for either of us and no amount of fighting will change that, we made a mistake then so lets do this right, i don't want to see either of us spend a fortune on lawyers and i don't want anything from you except what i had before the marriage and then propose your deal, lead with the part about how you won't ask for any money or support from him and continue from there. point out that if you can reach your own agreement and do this peacefully you can both use the same lawyer which cuts those expenses in half, play up the benefits to HIM of not making a big battle out of it, make it seem like he'd be hurting himself to make it difficult. good luck to you!

Answer 9

I agree with alot of what every one else is saying here. The best bits of advice are first, try to settle as many of the issues as you can as soon as possible. Also, getting a lawyer is always a good idea for divorce. Just a quick note too: Michigan, where I live, it is a no-fault divorce state. Our house was in my name only, but my ex-wife was entitled to half of the value. She was also entitled to half of my retirement savings, etc. Assets and liabilites are assumed equally here unless it is negotiated. Good luck and I hope everything works out well for you. I know how tough divorce can be.

Answer 10

I would suggest an attorney if he is being really difficult but, if he can be reasoned with, I would suggest a mediator. As far as the house goes, I would think that he has no legal claim to it because it was yours before the marriage and in only your name.
The animals might not be an issue if he has to leave and rent a place that doesn't allow pets.