I am nineteen years old. I moved out of home when I was seventeen, and have been living with my boyfriend since then. He is twenty-five, and make about three times as much as I do. Recently we have had some problems, (well, not just recently) and I am beginning to wonder if they're the kind that can be solved. He thinks that maybe the reason we have issues is because we are practically married anyways, but we separate everything financial, and there is a definite division between our two lives. He thinks that our only problem is that we're not married. I am afraid that our problems aren't related to that, and by getting married we'd just be making thing worse. I have always thought of marriage as something you do when you want to have kids, and you're done with school, and ready for a lifetime commitment...I love him so much, and can see us getting married someday, but right now?
2006-07-04 07:21:41 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I got married when I was 19 and it didn't last. If you are having doubts about your relationship then the last thing you need to do is get married because it won't work. Trust me, I know alot about this. What if you get pregnant and you end up divorced? Then what, you will have a battle on your hands that could go on for years and years. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Don't let him pressure you into something you don't want to do. Sit down and really talk this out. It may come down to the point that you really don't belong together if he doesn't understand your feelings. Communication is EVERYTHING.
2006-07-04 07:45:50 · answer #1 · answered by Barb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You get married to have kids but you also get married to make a commitment to someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Since you have lived together for two years anyway, it seems that you really do love each other so what's the problem?
If you aren't ready to have children, it's easy to prevent them.
Many people get pre-marital counseling so they can both understand the needs and goals of the other. It can be through your priest, minister or a relationship/marriage counselor. They are very helpful and know just the right things to bring out.
I think that might be your best idea...........and might assuage the hurt feelings of your partner as well. Counseling is such a complete way of bringing your own thoughts out in the open, so you'll both see where you stand on all issues.
Please make an appointment and do that much. Even if you still choose to not marry right away, you both will benefit.
2006-07-04 08:29:24 · answer #2 · answered by purplewings123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is Just a paper if you both love each other, then it is both of your decition if you want to get married of not like you said practically you are married the only difference is that you don't have a sign paper.... but still you can get married & wait for kids if you don't want any jet just sit and talk over all the situation and express what you both feel & what you really want... don't be afraid to break if your are not okay with his ideas or the other way, your happiness should be first, & if you are not ready for a commitment even if you love him so much then he should respect you if not he is not really for you.... GOOD LUCK!!! hopefully you make a good choice ......:)
2006-07-04 08:53:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember the immortal words NOT to live by: "I thought after we married, things would be different" likely one of the most common phrases heard at a divorce hearing.
Simply put, if you see your self with this person 5-10 years down the road, then stick with him, but only marry if you WANT to, if you are feeling pressured, then this is the WRONG reason to marry. If you feel you CANNOT seperate, explore exactly WHY you cannot, if its a dependancy thing, this can be a problem of a different sort
2006-07-04 08:35:29 · answer #4 · answered by movie buff 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should just let it take some time. Just because your boyfriend told you that your problem is that you're not married means that he's moving too fast. I know it's been a while already, but I strongly suggest you let it take some time.
P.S. If you want to get married now, just think about the problems you faced with him. Ask yourself, " How do they relate to our marriage and what might happen? "
2006-07-04 07:27:19 · answer #5 · answered by xxd3bbst3Rsxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get married when both of you are ready that means including you. you both have to be commited to each other only then will a marriage last and be worth it. take your time, you still have time, all the best of luck to the both of you! ^ ^
2006-07-04 07:44:22 · answer #6 · answered by *Shruti* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're asking us if you should marry now, you have doubts. So no, don't get married. In a marriage, money should belong to both.
2006-07-04 07:28:37 · answer #7 · answered by cowgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you'd be wise to wait. While everyone has doubts about marriage, I think you are very young to make a lifelong decision. If he loves you, he will wait.
2006-07-04 07:54:03 · answer #8 · answered by soccerfamilys 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well maybe take some couple counseling and then decide what u want to do
2006-07-04 07:26:46 · answer #9 · answered by JAZY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it don't feel right, don't do it.
2006-07-04 08:49:22 · answer #10 · answered by magicmix13 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋