I was sexually abused multiple times as a child. Is it wrong or twisted for me to enjoy sex as much as I do, and is it normal for me to feel so guilty about the past and about the fact that I actually enjoy sex now that I'm an adult? I'm a married woman and it feels like I want to have sex more often than my husband does. Is there such a thing as wanting it too much and does it have anything to do with my past abuse? I was one of those people who imagined that it wasn't me and blocked out a lot of memories but am now having to face them so any help such as websites i can go to or anyone who is going through the same thing as I am would be much appreciated.
2006-07-04 04:58:09 · 15 answers · asked by emmie 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Yes it is normal
I was sexually abused as a child----and sexually assulted as a teen(left for dead) ------and once i got to where I wasn't scared of sex----I want it more then my fiance----and I was always wondering if something was wrong with me as well--- I thought isn't a man sapose to want it more then me?---sorry this happend to you----but its good t know that I'm not alone.
I have ptsd----i also blocked out alot till after I moved out of the house---then the memories came back full force---and I had to deal---and went to a counciler. It helped alot to know that what i was goign through was normal for what ive been through
here are some other sites that has helped me
http://www.rainn.org/get-information/index.html
rainn stand for----Rape, Abuse and Insest National Network
http://stepchat.com/abuse/
this is a chat site---alot safer then yahoo
Hope this helped!
2006-07-12 06:00:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me first say that I am sorry you had to endure what you did as a child. That is one thing that a child should never have to experience. I am sorry you are one of them that had to experience that.
To answer your question. It really depends on the degree to which you actively seek out sex from your spouse and how much it occupies your thoughts. I won't go into 'official' diagnosis as I don't think that's what you want here.
What it boils down to is this: Some adults who were sexually abused as a child seek out sex to a degree that becomes pproblematic. This is done for several reasons, most noteably, it is done bcause they want to experience 'good' sex and be able to shut out the memories of the abuse. With most people there is a positive feeling associated with sex and that is the feeling that I believe you are looking for. Where as everytime you think about your abuse you want to replace those thoughts and feelings with the positve ones and you have sex with your husband.
The best thing I can say to you is seek out some professional help and explore those thoughts and feelings. Don't settle for just any counselor though. Ask questions, aare they experienced working with sexual abuse survivors? What theoretical approach do they employ? The best approach for sexual abuse is often cognitive/behavioral. I believe, from what you have said, that would be a very affective approach for you.
Beyond that I really can't say too much having not met you. I do wish you the best though.
2006-07-04 12:56:55 · answer #2 · answered by slaps_god 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the fact that you have a good sexual appetite shows you are doing well with your past. But if it is bothering you, you should seek counseling. There's NOTHING wrong with a woman wanting sex with her husband. I've never been abused and I always want sex more than my boyfriend does. However he was sexually abused as a child and I think that causes him to have a low sex drive. I think you are fine. Now if you start having impulsive sex with strangers then it is a problem.
It is natural for someone who was molested as a child to wonder if they are "right" sexually or if there's something wrong with them. But from what you say, you sound fine. Enjoy sex, that is what it is for! (besides baby making)
2006-07-04 20:26:17 · answer #3 · answered by prettyinpunkk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I'm so sorry for your experience as a child. First things first, I definitely think you need to resolve the issues that you have stemming from the abuse by talking to a trained professional.
Sexual abuse can and often does indeed, result in hypersexuality. You see it a lot in promiscuous teenagers, or adults who were sexually abused by adults they trusted... it results in a skewed perception that sexual activity is evidence that they are loved and cared about.
Please know that the sexual abuse was NOT your fault, and you must know that you have NOTHING to be ashamed of. However, that is much easier said than done, and I TRULY believe that you should get a handle on these issues by talking to a trained professional... for both YOU and your marriage's sakes!!!
2006-07-04 12:06:43 · answer #4 · answered by xquizzyt1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People who have been sexually abused can go through different situations when they grow up. Some can suppress sex and others just go wild and sort of rebel. I know that sexual abuse is very hard for a person. I know people that have gone through that situation and they have overcome them. Its not bad to be sexually healthy. However it sounds to me that there are still some things that you need to heal from that past situation. I suggest to go to a therapist to talk about it and really see that if the sexual conduct that you have right now is normal or not.
2006-07-04 12:05:09 · answer #5 · answered by boricua_chick_21 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey there.
Perhaps the two are not related at all (your past and your present sexual encounters).
Have you confronted the one who had molested you? Perhaps if and when you do the healing can start.
With regard to you wanting sex more than your husband, perhaps you're at your peak. People say it is usually around age 30 for women and 18 for men.
I hope all will be well with you. Take care.
2006-07-13 03:28:15 · answer #6 · answered by mx3baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not familiar with any sites, of this nature but I'd say your sex life is pretty normal, you're becoming aware of your sexuality. Nothing to worry about here, just enjoy it, and let go of the past. Life is what you make it, sometimes it takes knowing where you've been to know where you're going. Good luck!
2006-07-04 12:05:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best answer that I can give you is to seek out a psychologist who deals with issues like yours. This website is not equipped to give you the advice that you need unless someone answers this question that has the expertise to do so. You have deep underlying problems here that no one is prepared to give you the help that you are seeking. I hope you will seek out a doctor that can help you better than I can, I wish you the best of luck!
2006-07-04 12:08:02 · answer #8 · answered by December Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that the increased urge for sex has anything to do with your sexual abuse but you may want to see a doctor for the guilty feelings and for the respressed memories. Good luck.
2006-07-04 12:02:40 · answer #9 · answered by guineasomelove 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people exposed to sex at too early an age become sex addicts.
As long as you are not hurting anyone or yourself you are ok.
2006-07-04 12:08:24 · answer #10 · answered by carlos p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋