How to get 7 mth. old out of my bed?

Question

My son used to sleep in his own room in his crib until I went to Tenneessee when he was 3 months old. He had to sleep in the bed with me as there was no room to set up his basinet or anything. Since then he won't sleep in his crib. He has to be in bed with me to go to sleep. I've tried letting him fall asleep in bed and then moving him to his crib, but he wakes up every time. My husband says to just put him in his room, turn the monitor off, and let him cry himself to sleep. I really don't think that's the best way to go about it. I really want him out of my bed, so any suggestions are appreciated.

OK, my husband is NOT a bad parent. His friend does that to his baby, and my husband thought it was a normal way to get your baby out of bed. We haven't and aren't going to do that. I mentioned just because that seemed to be the only option left.

Answer 1

WOW, taking him out of your bed, where he's slept happily and safely for months, and him in his crib in his room and letting him cry it out --- nothing short of cruel. All that will teach him is that he cannot trust his parents to meet his need for safety and comfort.
This does not mean he sleeps with you forever. Try putting his crib next to your bed, if there's room. He can see you and you can comfort him by talking to him, patting him or holding onto his hand. He may cry, and it may take a few days for him to adapt, but he'll get comfortable with it. Then move the crib a bit further away from your bed. Little by little, OVER TIME, he'll adapt to the separation.
While you're moving him further away from you - other things should remain the same. the same amount of light, the same mobile over the crib, the same music, blanket or lovey. When changing one thing, consistency in all the rest is essential.
Good luck, time and consistency, and most of all love and common sense will solve most problems and concerns in raising children.

Answer 2

You're absolutely right--*don't* let him cry himself to sleep. It might not work, and it's *definitely* not good for him.

As for how you *can* get him out of your bed, a lot depends on why you want to do it and how quickly. For instance, if you want a little more space or if he twists and turns and disturbs your sleep, a co-sleeper might work for you. You can buy a co-sleeper, but you can just use a crib. To do this, take off one long side of the crib, remove the wheels, and adjust the mattress so that its height is exactly the same as your bed. Place crib against your bed, and attach it *firmly* so that it can't separate. Be sure that there's no space between the mattresses.

If you want him farther away, you can try a crib in your room. Your physical closeness and being able to see, hear, and smell you may make it easier for him to make the change. Or you may really want him to be in a different room altogether.

To get him used to a crib, try some or all of the following:

Nurse him to sleep. Wait at least 5-10 minutes more (when he is in a deeper sleep) before putting him in his crib.

Use a flannel sheet; it won't feel cold against his face.

Warm up the bed wtih a hot water bottle. Touch the sheet before putting him down to be sure it isn't too hot.

Put a shirt or other clothing you have worn in or near the crib so that he can smell you.

Place a bed next to his crib and use it like a co-sleeper to lie down in and nurse him to sleep in his bed.

Switch the two pieces of baby monitor (or buy a regular intercom) so that he can hear the noises you make when you sleep.

Wait a couple of weeks and try again. Sometimes, a change is stressful; letting up for a while may give him a chance to calm down, and he may take it better next time. (And, by the way, if you *don't* get him out of your bed now, you *won't* have him there forever. Babies and children *all* want to grow up.)

Last possibility--don't bother. Think about the reasons you want him out of your bed and consider if there's another way to achieve the same thing with him continuing to sleep next to you. If, for instance, you are doing it to please your family, friends, or neighbors, you could just stop discussing it with them. If you feel like you need a private place to talk, schedule a date with your husband after baby is asleep. And if you need more room for sex, then you could set up a bed in another room just for private times together...

Answer 3

If you have enough space try putting his crib in your room beside your bed. When it is time for him to sleep place him in the crib and you can lay in your bed beside him so he can see you rub his back through the bars. Do that over a few weeks shortening the time you lay with him and eventually move the crib from your room into his own.

Answer 4

I had the same problem. What I finally did was give her a regular bed with gaurd rails and lay down with her to get her to sleep , if she woke up I'd go back in and say I had just gone to the bathroom . It took a couple of weeks but she rarely gets up at night now. You can also try getting him to sleep in your bed then moving him to his regular bed. Some babies just don't like to go back to a hard crib mattress after they have had mommies soft bed to compare to. Also make the two rooms as much alike as possibe. IF you run an A/C in yours run one in his , if your room is really dark , darken his and so on .

Answer 5

Sounds like your tot is testing you. He still has his day events but the night is much out of wack. I'd try to hooked up a more inflexible agenda... So for instance, he wakes at 9 am.... Feed him alternate him do some house chores play with him then at 12 pm feed him lunch trade him and let him sleep for two-three hours.... Then hold him wakeful via playing with him, doing a little errands, extra chores across the apartment... Until 6 pm do the dinner factor and chenging the diaper and bath stuff... Then provide him his bottle and take a look at feeding him a good prtion for cereal... That means he has the full feeling and he will go to sleep from the busy day... It will take a couple of weeks for him to get used to it but then he will sleep higher and which you could too! Just ensure you wake him and put him down at the identical instances! Remeber he is like putty you must mold him into doing what you need him to do. Just right luck!

Answer 6

You definetley don't have to let your babe cry himself to sleep to sleep in his own crib. I have many friends who successfully got their babe's out of their bed without letting them cry at all. The best way to do it is to transition it slowly - most cribs have a remove-able side - if you take this side off, you can push the crib up against your bed. This way, baby still has his own space, you still have yours, and he is still close to you for that warm, loving comfort he is used to. As he gets used to sleeping in his crib you can move it. I know several mum's who have tried this and it worked beautifully. I still sleep with my 10 month old and I love it but I know that every family has different needs - so follow your gut. You definetley don't need to let him cry though. And there might still be nights when he needs to sleep with you - as long as you can remain flexible and loving he should transition easily. I'm not sure how long this method takes, since I haven't done it myself, but even if you've got him sleeping in the crib beside your bed, you've still got your own space in bed so it's definetley a step up!

Answer 7

I put both my girls in their cribs and let them cry. They need to learn to comfort themselves and be able to fell asleep by themselves. As long as you know that nothing is wrong as far as diaper or hunger, its not a bad thing to do. My oldest cried for ten minutes and then was out like a light. My youngest loves her crib and has never had a problem sleeping alone.
My 3 year old however did sleep in the bed with me and she still cries, but only for 5 minutes and then she's out like a light.
They need to learn how to soothe themselves and they can't learn that with u there soothing them. Try putting him in his crib and patting his butt or rubbing his back. Or you can rock him to sleep then put him in his crib. If he wakes up just walk out, no eye contact or speaking, just walk out. I bet he'll go back to sleep.
We use a CD of soft classical music to help our kids with bed time, my girls love it and won't sleep without it.
Give him a blankie or passy. My 8 month old loves her blankie and she snuggles it to go to sleep as well.
At 6 months old, your baby learns that when he cries you come to pick him up, that's why they cry in the crib because they think you'll come get them.

Answer 8

Why are you in such a rush to get a baby only 7months out of your bed? 7 months suggests it wasn't too long ago that you and he were one. Surely you can give him the comfort he needs until he' s a little more secure. Believe me, it won't be long before he won't come to you even if you beg him, so enjoy the togetherness while you can. As for your husband who's so cold as to say, 'let the baby cry himself to sleep' I would recommend putting him in the basement and letting him cry himself to sleep.

Answer 9

think of all the sex your missing with the kid in the bed get that boy out of your bed. you need to tucker him out during the day and give him a early short nap feed him lunch take him outside in the fresh air when feesable give him dinner and a good warm bath then talk to him while your dressing dim for bed and keep the lights low as you do this it induces sleep he should be put down for the day starting with a bath at 830 so by 9 his butt is sleep play the radio in his room on a soothing station and let him lye down then when hes sleep reward your self with some lustful love making with your husband it will help you sleep smile

Answer 10

I agree with you. I think cry-it-out is cruel. I just think how I would feel if my only means of communication was completely ignored and I was left alone and afraid. It'll take time for your baby to adjust to not sleeping with you. We decided we liked having our children near us so I have a 3 year old that is just now transitioning to his bed and a 1 year old that still sleeps with us. There's a great book called The No-Cry Sleep Solution. There's lots of good techniques in it. We've been using it to transition our 3 year old. There's just too much to it to list it all here. Just remember, in 18 years when he leaves for college he will be potty trained and sleeping in his own bed. :) This is such a brief moment in their lives. Revel in it.