I am driven to uncontrollable frustration when my bf talks bs to me and misrepresents the facts or finds some negligible difference between his behavior and mine, thus justifying his acts and condemning mine. Often he will casually state a blatant lie ("I knew you wouldn't pay me back. You never do.") knowing that the opposite is true. But he seems to love to watch me lose my cool (as I argue these stupid things), wanting him to admit the truth. What the he** is wrong with me? Why can't I ignore this s.o.b.?
2006-07-04 04:11:25 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
The question here is not your ego. The question is why you would waste your time with someone who loves to watch you lose your cool, you find frustrating, causes you to question the problem as your own and that you yourself describe as an "s.o.b."? Now that the real question has been clarified, I'll bet you already know the answer to it as well.
2006-07-04 04:44:51 · answer #1 · answered by nimbleminx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please read the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I did and I was able to lose an "acid boyfriend" (one that wears you down), really connect with my friends (and make lots more), and start talking to my mom again (after a 10 year cold-war). It starts with working your responses. Like when he starts bs just to rev you up, if you read just Habit 1, you'll know how to react in such a way that it loses all fun for him. Habit 2 and 3 help you set priorities (and decide if he still is one). Habit 4 helps your negotiating skills so that neither side has to lose (win-win not compromise). Habit 5 is all about understanding where someone is coming from before letting your side be heard. (maybe he's just reflecting his own weaknesses on you. maybe he fears losing you, but figures it will happen anyway, so why not make a break up on his own terms even if he doesn't want to break up). Habit 6 is synergy. Working together with a person/group to make a whole worth more than the sum of your parts. (my husband and I love Habit 6........). Habit 7 is about renewing yourself so that you are always confident that you are who and what and where you want to be. It is a GREAT read.
2006-07-04 04:21:42 · answer #2 · answered by Ananke402 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to avoid the feeling of "It's all about me!" Try to think from the other persons view and refuse to argue with him if you want to stay together. The real questions are: Do you want to live with his actions forever? Can you but up with his abuse forever? Do you want your future children to think that his behavior is acceptable? Do you want to bolster his self esteem while destroying your own?
The answer to your question is: DON'T IGNORE THIS BEHAVIOR!!!! You deserve better. This is verbal abuse. Run away and find someone that will love and cherish you forever.
2006-07-04 04:36:10 · answer #3 · answered by Paula P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your bf sound like an abusive controlling person. It looks like if he is not in control of all situations he is fighting to you about it and you are trying to stand your own. Watch out for him and if I were you I would stay away, cause you never know what he might do.
2006-07-04 04:17:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's playing mind games with you to see what buttons he can push to control you. The first step to controlling your ego is to get the heck away from him.
2006-07-04 04:18:13 · answer #5 · answered by klunk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better question would be why am I still with this ignorant S.O.B.?
2006-07-04 04:36:19 · answer #6 · answered by MrBudbag 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with you,it's the abusive nutjob you're with,get out of this relationship before he kills you
2006-07-04 04:25:38 · answer #7 · answered by hotclaws 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't play his game,keep your tongue in check,ignore or agree with him....he will stop doing it as soon as you stop reacting ,beat him at the game! gl
2006-07-04 04:22:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋