Well my cousin who I love very much, we are like best friends and I consider her my sister. Well any way my cousin is married to this guy who went up and cheated on her and had a kid with this other woman. He even took her car even though it is in his name. I just wanted to know if she should get back with him. She told me that she still loves him. But I wanted to get every input on this because I love my cousin very much and I want nothing but the best for her and her daughter Casey. Even though im extremely mad at my cousin’s husband if she still cares for him then im not going to tell her she shouldn’t date him. I want to give my cousin the best advice I can so I figured id ask for help.
2006-07-04 03:29:30 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I want to thank you girls and guys for your answers
2006-07-04 04:43:53 · update #1
I think that BECAUSE you love your cousin, you can only say that if the situations were reversed, you wouldn't be going back to a cheating partner. It's a bad place to be in, either way. As now you'll also need to refrain from saying, "I told you so.", if she goes back to him & he cheats again.
When we love someone, we're not able to tell them what to do..but only offer advice and suggestions as to how we might live the same situation.
2006-07-04 03:39:22 · answer #1 · answered by GrlNamedJane 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She still loves him after he went and had a baby with another woman??? Your cousin has very low self-esteem. Remind her if she takes him back she will be dealing with his love child and the kids mother for the rest of her life. If she doesn't have any kids with this jerk she should get out quick. As a best friend and close cousin why would you not want to tell her to leave? Why are you afraid to tell her the best solution? She will find someone else soon enough. This guy isn't the only male walking on the planet.
2006-07-04 10:37:24 · answer #2 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your cousin is in a complicated situation, since her husband
has a kid to his other woman now. I suggest your cousin should give all her time now to her daughter Casey and forget about her cheating husband. Better still, sue her husband for bigamy or concubinage. A man like that doesn't deserve the love of your cousin.
2006-07-04 10:43:51 · answer #3 · answered by Seeker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your cousin's situation does not sound good. I think you should stress what's best for her to do in terms of her & her child's welfare, state of mind, quality of life (not in the financial sense, but in the sense of his cheating & leaving & coming back & his now having to deal with the other woman and her child and the fights that will inevitably ensue & her & her child's life being disrupted & in constant turmoil), rather than whether or not she still loves him. More often than not, love is not enough to sustain a relationship, especially if it's only one-sided. But even if the guy says he loves her too, it's his behavior, not what he says, that counts.
Again, I think your discussion with your cousin should center around her making good decisions for herself and her child, not whether or not she loves him/he loves her/whether or not she should forgive him.
She can love & forgive him, but not take him back into her life, if taking him back into her life will cause her more heartache & problems.
I think the fact that he took the car away from her, which I imagine caused hardship for her & her child is a BIG CLUE that this guy is not genuinely concerned for their welfare, and cannot be trusted, even to help her in small ways.
Having said all this, I am also aware that your cousin probably doesn't want to hear any of it. It sounds like she's all caught up in the drama & just wants you to support her impending bad decision to go back with him.
I think if you truly love her, you'll tell her the truth and why you think it's not a good decision for her--- but---- be prepared for her to be angry with you. Just keep reminding her that she asked for your opinion & you're giving it to her out of love and concern, but that if she decides to do otherwise, you'll still love her and wish her the best. And remind her that she's always free to change her mind about going back with him and that you'll help her get away from him if she needs you too. That she shouldn't be embarrassed to ask you for help just because she ignored your advise to begin with.
I'm hoping she'll make the right decision with your help. She's lucky to have a cousin who cares as much as you do.
2006-07-04 10:51:29 · answer #4 · answered by lisita429 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your cousin deserves better. because now he will be attached forever to this lady and to this child she had while cheating. Just be there for your cousin and offer your support but she has to be the one to realize that he is no good for her and someone out there somewhere wont cheat on her. Loving someone isnt easy to get over but does she really want a lying cheating dirty husband.
2006-07-04 10:35:41 · answer #5 · answered by sweeetkisses2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends if he is abusive to her physiclly , then tell her to get away right away , other wise if not u cant tell her who she should and should not love, u can advise her , and give her ur opinions, and let her know if she needs a place to stay to work things out she could come stay with u , but as far as being together that is her decision, some loves are worth fighting for, ( i myself ran around alot on my wife for the first few years of marrige, but she stuck in there and refused to break it off with me, ,, finally i wised up and relized what i had ,, that was 10 yrs ago , and i have been faithful ever since, it just takes some guys longer than others ). ,,,, and if u truly care for her than u will support what ever decision she makes,, even if u dont agree with it .
2006-07-04 10:41:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love makes people to things even though they may be bad for them.look,you can't tell her what to do,she isn't a little girl anymore.I think you should tell her to seriously think about it,and about the way he has treated her and get her to really take a outside look at the situation and see what she thinks of it.If she has any doubts about getting back with him,she must not do it-how ever strongly she may feel for him,it will save her alot of pain.He treated her bably-there is no excuse for that.I think she must wait and see if he actually can prove that he has changed-like a trial period!
2006-07-04 10:38:00 · answer #7 · answered by Celestial_Magick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She Doesn't need to get with him.. If He cheated once he'll do it again, again and again... She Deserves better than that and she needs to forget about him even though she loves him it will be very hard for her.. You need to stay by her side no matter what.. even if she gets with him don't be mad but you need to kick his *** the next time he does it.. lOl Just joking
2006-07-04 10:38:06 · answer #8 · answered by Crazy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one should ever go back with someone who has cheated on them. If they've cheated once, what's to stop them from cheating again? This guy sounds like a real ***, so I wouldn't recomment your cousin going back with him. Tell her to find someone who treats her better.
2006-07-04 10:33:46 · answer #9 · answered by Caryssa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she enjoys being married to a man that will sleep with other women and possibly bring her home std's and have babies with other women, then by all means she needs to date him! If, however, she respects herself and wants to set a good example for her child, she needs to be done with him. No matter how much she thinks she loves him, he obviously didn't love her enough to take their marriage vows seriously.
2006-07-04 11:41:06 · answer #10 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋