For our wedding my parents/relatives put about $1000 in a mutual fund. It was to help establish ourselves when (& if) we return to the US (we live in UK). As it looks unlikely we'll return to US w/in the next 5 yrs or so & as we could really use the money to move, I approached my dad & asked if I could get the money to help pay for a larger flat (me, hubby & 7 mnth old son in studio flat, ouch). Deposits here can be brutal, & after hefty battle the HA is refusing to give us a flat because we "don't have enough points". My folks refused, stating that we should try to earn the money & that hubby should get a job. Whilst I appreciate that this money was for special use, I work 2 jobs whilst hubby's full time carer of our son (personal choice for us both) and money is tight. We'd like to move out asap, and not have to wait 6-7 months to save the ££ up. We are not lazy people and we wouldn't have asked, but we exhausted all other options. Are we in the wrong?
2006-07-04 03:24:19 · 10 answers · asked by Disgruntled Biscuit 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
We would absolutely love to go home to US, but money and circumstances do not permit at present.
2006-07-04 03:31:28 · update #1
It's kind of hard to say who is right or wrong for I think both parties have their own personal views attached within this context. I can't say for I do not know how you asked or the manner to which he responded? I guess what i'm tryin' to say is that maybe your asking wasn't wrong and neither was his reply.
Maybe you could speak to him again and change your approach on method of asking? If you present your case in an honest and open manner, he may change his mind?
I'm sure you and your partner are not lazy. God knows money can be tight and getting enough points to move into a flat can be a heartache. Call him again and speak to both sides of the family and state your need for their help.
I wish I could offer better advice and I do hope things pan out for you. Good luck.
2006-07-04 03:38:51 · answer #1 · answered by v_stroke_28 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think either party is wrong, just a difference of opinion on when and where the money should be available. Other people would not have that fund available to them anyway, and just have to get on with it.
Maybe there is some room for compromise between both groups. Could you ask for half of it, or say that you will be living in the UK for the next 5 years anyway. If you manage to buy a property here, its value will (probably) go up in that time, and then if you sell it when you move, you will probably get a lot of dollars for your money. Alternatively you could look at renting out that property to make money. In the UK property seems to be a very good investment and making money.
Anyway, I'd try and work out some kind of compromise.
Hope that helps, good luck!
2006-07-04 11:04:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your dad is wrong. If it was given to you both as a wedding present there shouldn't be any restrictions on what you do with it. As you want to use the money to buy a property I think that is establishing yourself. Talk to you dad again.
2006-07-04 16:02:08 · answer #3 · answered by Curious39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG you are not in the wrong at all.... if the money was a wedding present...its your money...if your parents had bought you a coffe maker instead of giving you money, would you not be allowed use it untill you moved back to the us?????????
your Dad is being childish and selfish....
2006-07-04 10:32:05 · answer #4 · answered by IrishLassie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although your parents and others put the money in it is for you is your dad going to treat you like your five forever or does he always tell you how to spend your money!!
That money is for you and you are trying to better the environment for your baby and partner whats wrong with that i agree with you you are not in the wrong i hope that your dad will see some sence x
2006-07-04 10:33:33 · answer #5 · answered by dizzymooo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that your family is looking out for your future. You take the money now and it will be gone soon..then youwill be back where you started. London is notoriously expensive, if you live there, I would move out of any main town and go into the country, or go to another country.
2006-07-04 11:33:41 · answer #6 · answered by mikers1117 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are right, you need the money now. It makes you wonder who is supposed to benefit from this money, if it is for your happiness you should have it now otherwise it looks as though it will only be given to get you back to the US and please others. Have you thought of asking if you can` borrow it` and repay it when you are able.
2006-07-04 10:40:04 · answer #7 · answered by JANE m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the sake of $1,000 I wouldn't risk upsetting my family to be honest. Although it does smack of dangling a carrot that you are only allowed to eat it their way.
2006-07-04 11:02:58 · answer #8 · answered by Amanda C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your dad just wants you home!
2006-07-04 10:29:11 · answer #9 · answered by matt2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one. It's his money, essentially, he's allowed to do what he wants with it. But you're not "wrong" for wanting it, either.
2006-07-04 10:32:36 · answer #10 · answered by JudasHero 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋