This came from know where. She claims that she never loved me and that I was used for security and procreation. I think she's full of it. She also told me I deserve somebody else. I told her this is the choice I made for better or worse. She had that gastric-bypass and we have had an extremely hardtime getting pregnant. We have had a miss carriage and an etopic pregnancy.
She seems like she's having a mid-life crisis, only being 34?
The problems I can see is that my job has been very demanding with travel involved, and her job has very off hrs. Plus she seems to be having trouble communicating herself to me. I feel that if she had spend as much time talking to me about how she was feeling instead of getting bad advice from someone else, this may have been avoided.
Shes moved out for 2 months now.
She keeps coming around
Now every couple of weeks she wants a little something something. I am about ready to cut her off.
I dont believe she wants to fix our marriage.
Any idea's
2006-07-04 02:11:09 · 10 answers · asked by BBCF 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can tell you from experience, that she is enjoying the fact that you let her come around for a little "something, something". Don't let her. I know you think if you are close to her, you can try to get her back, but in reality, she is learning that you will be there, waiting, whenever she feels like gracing you with her presence. Be good to yourself. Show her you are worth more than that and you will NOT settle.
2006-07-04 02:18:53 · answer #1 · answered by rosemary83060 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell you you love her and want to save the marraige and insist that she enter into counseling with you as a condition of your continuing to 'help' her. Go to counseling frequently, 2-3 times a week. This will counter the bad advice and get her talking to you about her feelings.
For both of you, it can be really good he hear things from an outside professional instead of from each other. I hope you learn that your wife does WANT to fix the marriage, but doesn't know how. You will probably also learn some things that you don't like hearing, so be prepared for that. I will keep my fingers crossed that this time next year you two are back under the same roof, having both made some difficult personal changes, and that the marriage is stronger than ever.
(Yes, this is going to disprupt your life & job and cost a bundle. Go on part-time if you need to, same as if your wife were having a serious illness and needed a lot of care. Now is the time to show her that your marriage is priority #1.)
2006-07-04 02:31:15 · answer #2 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shift back and forth so much, I'm not really sure what your question is. But about your situation, she sounds like she's going through some kind of a depression. Her hormones may be all screwed up from the surgery also. If you want to work things out, I'd see if she would go to counseling. I'd also contact the place she had the surgery at and ask if her behavior could be a reflection of the surgery. Best of luck
2006-07-04 02:19:52 · answer #3 · answered by foundhim92867 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she wants to keep her cake, but eat it too.
If she truely wants a divorce and does not love you then she would not be wanting to see you.
A midlife crises maybe, confused, yes!
You both got married for better or for worse.
Just because she can't or is having trouble getting pregnant does not mean you both can not have children. There are millions of homeless kids out there. Foster!
You need to have a heart to heart with her. Tell her she is either going to patch up the marriage with you or let you alone. Otherwize you'll never be able to get on with your life nor be able to meet some one else to spend it with.
2006-07-04 02:28:24 · answer #4 · answered by lovingfeathers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wants marriage things she need to move back in and work on the marriage. She may be feeling inadequate as a woman since she cannot carry to term. Miscarriages play bad tricks on a woman's psyche. She's probably having trouble loving anything for a while. Get her back home and work on the marriage. If she's not willing to do that you may have to tell her her support is here but you have to be here to get it. Then shut her off until she comes back.
2006-07-04 02:21:37 · answer #5 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you still love her.....Keep your hand in. or whatever.
She may just need some time by herself. Be kind, be generous, be there when she needs you.
But next time she is over for a little something something, ask her honestly if she is comparing your sex life with someone else.
Good luck.
2006-07-04 02:27:29 · answer #6 · answered by werk2much2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her to go to counseling with you and if she agrees then you will know if she is sincere. In counseling don't hold back and ask her not too as well and this will help with your own decision. She could be saying these things for alot of reasons, but if you could get her in counseling then she might feel more freely to express herself. Good luck.
2006-07-04 02:21:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You took the marriage serious..........you use the word WE when you talk about her being pregnant..............but you are right she doesn't want to fix the marriage she wants freedom but knows you are serious about the commitment you made............It will be hard to do but move on.....
2006-07-04 02:18:33 · answer #8 · answered by ginny3282 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you do deserve someone else.....someone BETTER. You don't need this selfish woman in your life.....find someone who will love and appreciate you for who you are.....Good luck!
2006-07-04 02:22:15 · answer #9 · answered by honey_bear_21_1999 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah cut her off.
2006-07-04 02:15:49 · answer #10 · answered by Lil mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋