Should i tell about my past affairs to my would be husband?

Question

i am a beautiful girl of 24 and going to get married shorly.I had loads of affair before and obviously i am not a virgin.I experienced physical relation several times with several guys and enjoyed fully.Now what bothering me is should i tell my would be husband about my past affairs before he discovers that I am not a virgin in our first night?or should i keep my mouth shut.but whatever the case may be i want to sound natural to him.Please help with your advise.

Answer 1

trust me... dont.!!!
if you want to live with your past... that is different.. if you want to progress with your new life.. do not discuss about your past as well as your partner's past.

Answer 2

Make a question to ur self - What do u want and how do u want ur life to be ???? and u will probably get the ans.


I can only show the way but ultimately it's u who have to walk through it....

It is impossible that one can hide the truth throughout his life. By any means he will know the reality...may be from ur ex boy friends...

Its reality that no man would like to marry a women who had loads of affairs and most importantly, she already had physical relationship with "several guys". Also there is a good possibility that he didn’t have phy. relation with glzs.
Sooner or later he will know by himself that u r not a virgin, so in that case u r in a big big problem. It may ultimately lead to Divorce, thus at the end of the day u would lose everything... ur husband, ur self respect, ur parents/friends...all of them...
So if you want to be loyal to ur "would be husband" then u should tell him the truth.

On the other hand if u tell the truth to him, he might in turn cancel the marriage with u, and then it will be u who will have to tell the truth/reason to ur family for what has happened. But here u will be retaining ur self esteem, as u have not tried to hide the truth and u where loyal to him.

Ultimately in both the cases u will have to pay something for what u have done.

My suggestion would be to tell the truth to him, but before telling this to him try to find out by asking him about his past (any affair) or something similar to ur past. If he is also having the same then it will be easy for u to tell him the truth and probably u both might end up in a happy married life.

But in case is is not having any affair/ p.r with any glz, then it will be his love/faith in u (which would have built while staying with u) which will allow him to forgive u and finally u will be having a great life ahead.
So try to spend time with him and most importantly try to make a soft corner in his heart.



Ultimately the decision will be ur's, as it is ur life and u know the situation's better than any one else.


Remember what u want.....(peace, satisfaction...or ...!!!!..)…….will dictate ur future

Answer 3

Think pretty highly of yourself, do you ? Rachet it back a bit, dear. If you think you are Miss Beautiful and that you have a wild past you enjoyed completely, these are things you might want to keep to yourself. No one can under-emphasize the value of privacy and discretion - a lesson to be learned here, for you.

What you did in the past and with whom is your business. If you are getting married, one would hope that you and your intended know each other pretty well as to character and morals and ethics, but the details are not at issue.

As for whether you are a virgin or not - if you are worried about there being an absence of a hyman for hubby to "break" - then forgetaboutit. However, your real concern is more likely that you will not be the shy, blushing virgin in bed - not knowing what to do and being tentative. I suspect, given your post, that you will be rarin' to go. If your intended husband doesn't know that by now, then you two have some real communication problems. And if he doesn't know that by now - AND he expects he is marrying a virgin, then - yes - you need to tell him that you are not.

I would caution you, however, against getting into a "who-when-how-many-times" conversation with him after you tell him you are not a virgin. Your past is not his business; your furture is. If you begin to tell him all about your past it will become a burden in your future.

Answer 4

Does your husband-to-be expect you to be a virgin? If he does, then you really need to tell him that you aren't. It's not fair to leave him some illusion that isn't the truth. If virginity isn't really that important to him, tell him you aren't a virgin but don't tell him details of your past relationships. My fiancee and I had this discussion early in our relationship. He asked the all important (to guys) question "How many?" and I told him. He was surprised and a little shocked to discover how experienced I was but he came to terms with it. I also made it clear to him that whatever (or whoever) I had done in the past, had no bearing on the future I wanted with him.

Answer 5

If you think that virginity is important to him you have to let him know he was not the first. Do this before marriage. There does not need to be a lot of detail just that he understands ther won't any virgin thing on the wedding night. On the flip side, virginity is highly over rated. I much prefer the knowledge that my wife picked me even though she had comparisons.

Answer 6

Be honest that you are not a virgin, that you have had some experiences. A future spouse needs to know a certain amount, also the possibility of sexual disease. I advise not going into how many lovers, names, dates, positions, etc. Too much information can stir up jealousy and is not really necessary to share.
Respect yourself not to expose yourself unnecessarily.

Answer 7

u r going to spend ur entire life with him....dont ruin ur beautiful married life with misunderstandings....so it will b better to disclose n show ur honesty to him...dont tell all the details but just that u hv had physical relations n that u r not a virgin cuz what matters in a marriage the most is trust,love,care..u know him the best ...if u think that there is a risk of losing him then tell him after gettin married that u wanna b honest but if u think he wont accept it and wont accept u then it is better that u tell it be4 gettin married cuz unacceptance be4 marriage is better rather than after marriage cuz though the first would disappoint u but latter would ruin ur married life + u'll come to know if the person is ready to accept u (for wat u r) or not for whom u r ready to accept his family n sacrifice urs

Answer 8

Dear Loose as a Goose,
Be a wise old owl, and do not tell him
of your many torrid affairs. Believe me when I tell you, he will
know that you are NO virgin.
The mere fact that you are able to bump & grind with the
best of them, is a very good indecation that you have been down
this road before.
Good Luck...................

Answer 9

I think that the matter of being virgin depends upon your religion or society
if it is important ,,you'v to tell him
all in all
in the past ,it was yours,,he must ask either you or others about your past,,,and then decide to marry or not,,,,
that is normal
but would he object or refuse or complain on your past after deciding marry to you????
think not normal

Answer 10

It depends on your husband.. if he is open minded and matured it does not matter what you have done before marriage. I told my wife before marriage if she wants to vomit out any secrets of her, before i came to know from other.. she vomited out what all have happened and we are fine.. That brings trust level and makes things easy for life time that both of you know each other well. Its good share things.. nothing is good or bad...its human to feel and do something that one do.. may be he too may have something to share for you... sense the pulse and know him well and open up what all you want to say in your own way so that he can digest..

Answer 11

What has happened in your past relationships belongs to you and there is no need to share details. I think it is a good idea, however, to disclose to your fiance that you are not a virgin.