does anyone have the text of Pam Ayres poem about John Prescott?

Question

This was in the print edition of the Daily Telegraph a couple of months ago

Answer 1

Bad day verse for John Prescott
Overseas members may not have seen the lurid news reports of the UK deputy prime minister's affair with his diary secretary but Pam Ayes, the popular supplier of comic verse to Middle England for almost three decades, has come up with a short poem which is rib tickling. Pam Ayres comments "he
seems like the last person who would send a women's pulse racing!" unless he was on top of her, in which case with his great bulk the pulse might stop needing a fork lift truck to remove him! Prescott is famous for owning two Jaguars so has been popularly known as "two Jags Prescott" - but now that has become "two shags Prescott"! Pam Ayres delivers recitals of her poems in a rural Oxfordshire burr. In four verses she pokes fun at a shamed man. Copyright is acknowldged to both Pam Ayres and the Daily Telegraph for this piece and photo. (8.5.06)


I Am Ready Mr Prescott
I am ready Mr. Prescott,
You can take me in your arms
All these years I've waited,
To experience your charms,
So fling aside those trousers,
I hope they're quick release,
For all that hank panky's
Made you clinically obese.

I like a man of substance,
I like a man of size,
Especially when I'm measuring
The bags beneath their eyes,
If anyone insulted me
I have no doubt at all
You'd leap to my defence
And punch the blighter through the wall

I like you Mr Prescott
A constant watch I keep
To see you on TV
Sat next to Tony, fast asleep.
So I'm waiting Mr. Prescott
My toothbrush in my bag,
To see your chiselled jaw
Behind the wheel of either Jag.

A man like you is dangerous
A man like you is trouble
Just like a row of houses
You demolished me to rubble
With one hand on the tiller
As steady as a rock
And the other disappearing
Up the secretary's frock.

Answer 2

Pam Ayres Short Poems

Answer 3

Here you go:

I am ready Mr Prescott
You can take me in your arms
All these years I've waited
To experience your charms
So fling aside those trousers
I hope they're quick release
For all that hanky panky's
Made you clinically obese

I like a man of substance
I like a man of size
Especially when I'm measuring
The bags beneath their eyes
If anyone insulted me
I have no doubt at all
You'd leap to my defence
And punch the blighter through the wall

I like you Mr Prescott
A constant watch I keep
To see you on TV
Sat next to Tony, fast asleep
So I'm waiting Mr Prescott
My toothbrush in my bag
To see your chiselled jaw
Behind the wheel of either Jag

A man like you is dangerous
A man like you is trouble
Just like a row of houses
You demolished me to rubble
With one hand on the tiller
As steady as a rock
And the other disappearing
Up the secretary's frock!

Answer 4

once you easily love them . It makes me experience kinda awkward sending it to all people else . yet I do say '' i such as you '' to my kinfolk and my close acquaintances . BQ : No . to me it skill a funky friendly hug . BQ2 : i think of its a bigger hug . BQ3: who's down there ?! hi ??? P.S : some human beings upload xxx whilst ending a sentence and the form of xs shows the importance and the firmness of the element . I had a German buddy who used to try this all of the time . she might positioned x's on the tip of each paragraph . she used to try this..

Answer 5

another brill one from PAM

Answer 6

Why, do you want to use it as his political eulogy?

Answer 7

damn 2 slow

Answer 8

WHAT