I have gain 60 pounds because of medication i was taking and now my sex life isn't that good. I am engaged to be married but now i dont know if i want to go ahead with it. He is very loving and caring and gives me enough attention outside the bedroom but in the bedroom it's very bad. I am very sexually active and if i had my way i would do it 3 times a day. He wont touch me sexually and it hurts. So today i am going to have a talk with him and find out if it's really my weight or something else. So i need some advice on how to bring it up?
2006-07-04 00:39:37 · 12 answers · asked by sky the limit 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Definitely, talk with him. Find out how he feels and let him know how you feel. I understand completely how you feel. I've gained a lot of weight myself and certain things in my life have become harder to do. But my boyfriend is very supportive and affectionate to me (inside and outside the bedroom) no matter how I look or weigh, and that's what true love is about. I think once you both talk it out, you can both work it out together. Let him know that no matter what, you're still a very affectionate person towards him, and that's not going to ever change, no matter how much you weigh. Good luck!
2006-07-04 01:51:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you're on the right track: just ask him. If it's the weight, be honest and realistic about what he can expect in terms of you losing it. I don't know what kind of medication we're talking about here but 60 pounds is a lot and I think you have to ask yourself if all that weight gain was absolutely necessary. If you had a good figure before, I think it's important that you be honest with yourself first and examine what's happened and why. Then talk to him. Be completely honest.
Good luck.
2006-07-04 00:46:02 · answer #2 · answered by Net Rider 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Outright asking is best but before you do, take a walk. Walking is the best exercise as well as giving you time to clear your head. Every time you want to or need to get into a serious conversation, take a walk first. You will also build up the self confidence to accept the answers you recieve.
2006-07-04 00:51:54 · answer #3 · answered by angel739902 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just come right out with it tip toe around it will make you blow up Sit right down and say What the hell is going on I need to know Good luck
2006-07-04 00:43:45 · answer #4 · answered by silver01222000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honesty and communication are 2 very important factors in a relationship/marriage. you want your mate to be able to express their feelings, be honest with you about anything...besides you want a partner that can talk to you, correct you when necessary, challenge you etc...
explain to him how it makes you feel when he doesnt want to touch you sexually. tell him you want to know how he truly feels about you and your weight and if your weight has something to do with him not touching you sexually. tell him you want him to be completely honest with you not to worry about hurting your feelings and that you are prepared for whatever answer he has for you.
at that time time it will be up to him to be truthful with you...
also, check with the doctor to find out if its any other options for you besides taken a medication that makes you gain weight...
2006-07-04 01:05:42 · answer #5 · answered by heresthedeal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is simply one of the first issues of many that you will have to deal for the rest of your life. You can't be afraid to talk about anything with him. How will other issues be resolved in the future? How would you want them to be handled? How would you want him to handle them? This doesn't address your question head on but when you think about this fundamental aspect about relationships in general I know you will come to the right conclusion for yourself.
2006-07-04 00:48:48 · answer #6 · answered by TryingToLearn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to be accepting and not have it taken wrong way the best way to do it is use i statements like I know i have gained weight do i not turn you on i need , i think, i want ect good luck
2006-07-04 00:47:11 · answer #7 · answered by Leveler 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him how you feel.
Dont worry about how to bring it up.
Thats the thing about relationships its all about truth and feelings when it comes to things like this.
Lay it on the line and dont flinch.
Good Luck
2006-07-04 00:43:29 · answer #8 · answered by Biker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about, we need to talk. What you said is just what you should say to him. Hopefully he will be as honest, good luck.
2006-07-04 00:48:50 · answer #9 · answered by Jim C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just talk to him in a way that won't hurt his ego.. maybe you just misunderstood him... but still it's your choice on how to bring it up with him.. i suggest that you'll cook his favorite dish and bring up the topic to him
2006-07-04 00:47:41 · answer #10 · answered by simple me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋