In September 2005, my husband fell for a woman 34 years younger and since then has been obsessed with her. He says he loves her etc and nothing between us has changed. Well it has and he can't seem to get this woman out of his mind. Fortunately she lives abroard and the only contact is by email and SMS. He now has big mood fluctuations from being reasonable to being dreadful. It is doing a lot of harm to himself. Of course the question is how to handle the situation properly. He now does what he wants when he wants and I am keeping my cool by not arguing, re-assuring him, just agreeing. But how much longer can I cope.
2006-07-03 22:08:57 · 16 answers · asked by Ginny C & Hobie D 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Cope is spelled D-I-V-O-R-C-E..... Good Luck and enjoy the second half of your life....
2006-07-03 22:13:18 · answer #1 · answered by rythempig 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa! So you're putting his needs first and letting him get away with this crap? Girl you need a dose of self-confidence and let me start by saying you are worth more than how he's treating you. In fact he's downright being disrespectful of you and your marriage vows.
I think that his behaviour is grounds for a divorce or seperation. And I'm usually the first person to tell people to try and work things out, but he's behaving like such a brat. My instinct is to leave him to his mid-life crisis. Tell him that if he wants to save his marriage seek counselling but don't keep giving in to him.
He is right now riding high with the thought that you won't leave him cause he knows you NEED him in your life. And he has this younger woman to lean to also.
You don't need anyone but yourself. Gain a good dose of confidence and walk out. Then get your hair and nails done and do a little shopping. This will all help you feel a little better about you. And this will show your husband that he can't string you along like that.
But don't forget you're beautiful and someone out there will want you just as much as your husband wants this other woman. And hopefully you'll meet a real grown-up.
2006-07-03 22:18:41 · answer #2 · answered by NVgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this is your Husband and I would tell her to back off.. Let this person know the harm she has done , .. She may not be aware.. Do you still love him?
Is your Husband worth the fight? I would inform his/your children about the problem and have a intervention .. To inform him he loosing you and ask if this lustful affair is worth loosing everything he has... Let him know you have lost trust in him and are unsure if it can ever be regained. You deserve respect and honer as-well you expect it. You are worth kindness and love don't let his foolishness put you in Despair are stand and be strong with your head held high..Go do things you always wanted ,'but he never wanted you too do because some reason or another . You are your own Women show him you don't need His approval anymore .God Bless You and all your ways through your troubles..
2006-07-03 22:26:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This situation is has no winners. If your husband is infatuated with a young woman overseas, and she clouds his every waking moment your relationship is going to suffer in the worst way. Give him an ultimatum either he gets professional help or you're out of there because you and he can't live with that sort of thing clouding your lives. you can't cope with this forever, something has to change.
2006-07-03 22:19:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HELLO THERE,
YOU HAVE MY SINCERE SYMPATHY,
WHILE IT IS EASY FOR SOMEONE TO SAY "DUMP HIM" or JUST LET HIM BE\.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, IT SOUNDS AS HE HAS CUT YOU OFF EMOTIONALLY. IF HE DOES WHAT HE PLEASES, WHEN AND WHAT EVER,
HE IS DEFINATELY NOT BEING A LOYAL HUSBAND OR RESPECTING YOUR FEELINGS,
DIVORCE, NOT THE ANSWER, AND IF HE IS NOT EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE TO YOU , YOU MUST BE MISERABLE, I COULD NOT TAKE IT,
LET HIM OUTGROW IT,, MAYBE, BUT WHAT IF HE DOES THIS WITH SOMEONE ELSE,
HE SAYS HE LOVES HER, AND YOU, OBVIOUSLY HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU THE SAME, HE DOES NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOVING SOMEONE, AND WANTING SOMEONE.
WHAT DOES THIS YOUNG LADY FEEL? IS SHE IN LOVE TOO,?DOES SHE KNOW THIS? WILL SHE EVER RETURN TO "YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD"
I THINK IT WOULD BE A SAD, CRUEL LIFE TO CONTINUE LIVING AND SLEEPING AND TAKING CARE OF SOMEONE, HUSBAND OR NOT WHO WAS SAD, AND DWELLING LIKE A KID IN PUPPYLOVE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN,,
AND YET SUPPOSED TO LOVE HONOR AND CHERISH YOU,,
WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE GRATEFUL FOR HIS NON-ENTHUSIASM ABOUT THE TWO OF YOU? DO YOU HAVE CHILDREN? DO THEY KNOW THIS? MY BOTTOM LINE IS HE NEEDS COUNSELING OR YOU NEED A DIVORCE, BUT I SUGGEST YOU TURN TO GOD, AND PRAY HARD AND TOGETHER IF YOU SHARE ANY FAITH, I BELIEVE THE ONLY WAY COUPLES CAN STAY TOGETHER FOR ALL THEIR LIVES IS TO HAVE GOD, IN THE FAMILY, IN THE RELATIONSHIP, IN THE FUTURE UNTIL THE END , ASSURE HIM OF WHAT, YOUR LAST SENTENCE? AGREEING WITH WHAT, ? YOU ARE NOT HIS MOTHER, YOU ARE HIS EQUAL AND HIS WIFE, AND YOU ARE BEING SLIGHTED BADLY BY HIS BEHAVIOR, IT JUST IS NOT RIGHT, FAIR, OR LOVING, IT REALLY SUCKS..
GOOD LUCK, TELL HIM TO GET OVER IT, OR GIVE HIM TWO WOMEN FOR HIM TO BE MOURNING OVER, SMASH THE COMPUTER, (JUST KIDDIING)
SEND HER AN EMAIL AND TELL HER THE DAMAGE SHE IS CAUSING, AND TO GO FRY ICE,,,
2006-07-03 22:33:25 · answer #5 · answered by Maureen K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is most likely a bogus question but I will entertain it...
Honestly? He has ruined your marriage and you need to just get out. I am baffled by the fact that you know about this and you are still married to him. Do you know you are a person who deserves love and dedication? You are well into adulthood and possibly into your seniors, but who does he think he is to just throw that away. Get some guts and leave him, who cares about what happens to him since he is obviously a pig.
2006-07-03 22:17:49 · answer #6 · answered by chrissy757 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is obsessed with another woman than you should consider divorce. He obviously doesn't appreciate you or your relationship. Truly consider this, what if he was to find another woman who he was obsessed with, than you were left alone because of this. Just be done now and go on with your life!
2006-07-03 22:17:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a pig! He needs to consider you! You don't need to be subjected to feeling as if you are second best,why should you have to cope?? Stop being his doormat and leave.
2006-07-03 22:16:08 · answer #8 · answered by poptrash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is up to you. But I think If you want to continue with him give him time to realise how silly he is behaving otherwise just dump him.
2006-07-03 22:13:50 · answer #9 · answered by preguntona 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him be. It is just a silly game he has in his mind that probably is doing him more good than harm.
2006-07-03 22:13:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you are the most understanding wife I have come across.
I would dump him immediately.
2006-07-04 05:26:16 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋