I had a past relationship where i thought i was in love but it turned out that he cheated on me for 2 months..that made me a mean ***** to every guy that was around me for any length of time...my fiancee told me he won't break up with me but he's tired of the bitchin...i'm worried that i'm gonna lose him...i love him to death but some things he says just hit that trigger and i go off...i've tried to change and i'm doing a lot better with my anger problem but i'm still rude..he won't understand that to change takes time...What do I do?!
2006-07-03 21:36:54 · 14 answers · asked by lucky-in-love 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Change.
2006-07-03 21:39:06 · answer #1 · answered by barbaradjt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds lilke you are still holding on to details of your past relationship and you are now naturally defensive. You need to thing before you repsond, take a 2 second pause before you answer and remember this bf is not the same as the last one, he loves you and you love him.
I'm not trying to tell you how to deal with/run your life but if you feel the past relationship is endagering your new one then you will need to see someone professionaly or just in fact talk to someone about it to remove any hatred you still have!
Cuddle him loads and tell him you love him everyday, this will ease any feelings he has and get you into the correct mindset to continue your route of anger management ... Good luck :)
2006-07-03 21:49:33 · answer #2 · answered by bugmonsta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Dear,
When ever you feel angry, try to remain calm as much as possible and if you know you'll hit back take a deep breath, smile and walk out for alittle distance to clear the air, If you come back and you are still annoyed try to be quite don't talk, some times silence is the better medicine.
For your rudeness, try to put your self in your boyfriend shoes and imagine the rudeness he endures from you, never carry forward failed relationships to your current one, you are very lucky he's still with you, try to forget what happened with your ex and embrace this relationship you have with all your heart, surely you can't hurt the thing you love.
Love Wendy
2006-07-03 21:56:49 · answer #3 · answered by wendy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wat i would suggest, is sittin him down, and explaining it all to him...tell him uve been burned out from a prick, and you love him with all ur heart and it hurts you to be mean to him, so you wanna change juss for him..it will make him feel important, and we all know how guys love to feel important..and juss let him know, u are trying..and when he says something that sets off ur trigger, juss try to stop and think of how much you love him and dont wanna loose him, and say something sweet, instead of the rude smirk you wanna say..i hope that helped in some way..
2006-07-03 21:44:18 · answer #4 · answered by dixiesangel8907 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like you're trying. But if you're really willing to change, it won't take much time. Just think of what you'll gain from being nice to him.
2006-07-03 21:45:30 · answer #5 · answered by Michael M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe it is PMS? pay attention to the time that you are rude, if it is all the time, you have anger problem, go anger management class. but if it is around PMS time, you should take some pills to help.
2006-07-03 21:41:27 · answer #6 · answered by Discovery 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you sure that your the only problem? he sounds quick to pass blame...just make sure your not beating yourself up over something that is just as equally his. I would recommend sitting down with him and truly talkin about this. And ask him what he wants you to do? And what both of you can do to make this happen? but he obviously has to change something also...
2006-07-03 21:40:46 · answer #7 · answered by lanceh13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he won't understand that to change takes time. you will understand that to lose him isn't worth you not changing
you can change just do it and stop being selfish or he will know that you don't love him
2006-07-03 21:40:19 · answer #8 · answered by nastaany1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get an anger management course..
2006-07-03 21:40:10 · answer #9 · answered by japjongetje 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you just need try and hide it. and tell him be like it takes time to stop something because you get use to doing it all the time. and he should love you for you and want to help you be nicer. tell him you love him and you want his help to make you nicer.
2006-07-03 21:41:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋