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we live in the country and after school and in the holidays there are not many children for him to mix with

2006-07-03 21:20:36 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Family

30 answers

I'm certainly not an expert on child rearing, but I remember a time when shyness was considered a favorable personality trait and not a disorder. It's this type of personality trait that makes us unique individuals.

The best way that worked to get me involved (I was a shy kid) was to have one good buddy that would accompany me to group and club activities. This way, I didn't feel like it was just me vs the group, and that went a long way toward giving me the confidence required to become the gregarious, outspoken adult that I've become.

2006-07-03 21:27:42 · answer #1 · answered by Mesa P 3 · 22 4

What a fab place to live ( in the country ) this is a child's free playground.

However, although he is lucky in that respect, it's obvious he's not in others. Why don't you have a few BBQ's and invite other couple with children of a similar age, this will encourage him to socialise whilst secure in the presence of mummy and daddy, and will build his confidence, which lays a good foundation for you to introduce other social events.

When you feel your son is more confident, try taking him to join some clubs ie/ .... Mini soccer, Boxing, Karate, ...... These are activities that build character and discipline.

Don't push your son too hard, he will just pull away, you need to take baby steps, be patient and watch him develop into a confident young man. Shy is not always a bad thing, but lack of confidence can be.

Encouragement and love is what he needs, introduce the social and activity scene at a pace he feels comfortable with.

Good luck XXX

2006-07-03 21:55:39 · answer #2 · answered by sukimitchell 3 · 0 0

You may want to create some exposure opportunities for him. You can start with very basic daily routine such as making him to pay items to a cashier or ask him to enquire from the shop attendant as to where can he locate an item.

During his holiday you may organise some activities located in the city areas whereby he can mix around with kids living in different parts of the cities. This will greatly improve opening up his confidence level.

There's many ways to it but you must start creating opportunities for him. In any event he did something wrong do not blame and scold him this will greatly deter him from opening up. Explain to him nicely the right doing but in a little firm way, this is to let him understand that it is something important to take note. If he did it right the next time praise and encourage him, with the continual efforts he will sure to be a confident boy in the near future.

2006-07-03 21:39:43 · answer #3 · answered by Simple 1 · 0 0

Is he an only child ? I think you are going to have to go out your way and take him to lots of after school activities and get him used to mixing with other children. Look through your local telephone book and find childrens clubs where they do football or some other sport that he is interested in - when you live in the country and don't have many neighbouring kids, it is up to the parents to make sure their child is stimulated

2006-07-03 21:27:33 · answer #4 · answered by Joanne A 4 · 0 0

I am and grew up very shy, my husband as well, our daughter came out that way!!!

And I know you definitely worry about it. I read up on parent.com and other sites about shyness. It's not a bad thing necessarily. There are good things about being shy. And really it's his personality. That's who he is.

Personally when I did worry about it, I put her into preschool last year, then dance, and now summer camp. Which they all lasted about two hours each. And then I take her to parks all the time. I also role play with her and try to give her things to say to other children...like you can tell him how to introduce himself to other kids and to ask their name and to ask if they'd like to play with him...that helped alot.

Since you do live in the country you will have to drive in to town and find something anything that he likes to do...it will be easier to make friends that way. And put him in something.

Don't know if the town you live in has a park district, but they would be able to help too...we live in a pretty small town and the park has a ton of programs for kids of all ages.

Hope that helps...really I wouldn't worry...my daughter really came out of her shell and hasn't stopped talking since...lol

But even if he doesn't, I don't think he needs any help. He will be just fine either way.

2006-07-03 22:16:10 · answer #5 · answered by Apple Blossom 4 · 0 0

Example. That is the best way to teach any child. Try to take him to a place where he is able to openly interact with other children, such as the park or a playground, ect. Watch how he plays with others and how they react to him. It will take time, but he will find that one kid who no matter how shy he is, will come up and ask him to play. Encourage their interaction. Even exchange numbers with the other parent and arrange for play dates. The more activities he is involved in the better. Sports are good also.

2006-07-03 21:26:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Please don't push him to be something that he's not - there's nothing worse for a shy child (as I used to be) than being forced to be sociable. Some children are just happier playing by themselves. If he has friends in school perhaps you should invite his 'best' friend over to play after school. Or maybe he could join a club involving something he's really interested in. Shy children generally come out of their shell when they grow a little bit so as long as he's not unhappy, just let him be himself.

2006-07-03 21:30:18 · answer #7 · answered by Roxy 6 · 0 0

let him have a sleepover, its not quantity of socialising its quality, the bonds will then be stronger at school, he will feel more confident, and make further friends, a sleepover will give him time to get through the shyness and actually interact more openly as the clock ticks on, my own six year old is the opposite, very outgoing at home with friends but shy at school

2006-07-03 22:13:21 · answer #8 · answered by littlestarr02 4 · 0 0

you need to help your sun socialise with other children around his age to do this you should try and put his name down for any clubs or activities that are going on around your area this will help to not only socialise but to intereact and meet new people he may even pick up new skills. Another thing you could try is inviting people round that you know but he knows aswell that way you both get a chnace to socialise together and so ure still with him and he doesn feel as if hes on his own and hes being left. he will get less shy as he gets older but it is a good idea to help him on his way! hope this helps!

2006-07-03 21:27:17 · answer #9 · answered by cookiegirl516 1 · 0 0

Get him involved in group sports or activities that he is interrested in. I was quite shy when I was younger and my parents signed me up to do Karate classes this helped me interact with other children my age pluss it built my self confidence and I can look after myself if I ever have to. It also teaches alot of discipline.

2006-07-03 21:31:38 · answer #10 · answered by pete 3 · 0 0

I was an extremely shy kid, too. I hung around grown-ups more than I did my peers. Luckily, I grew out of. I actaully love theatre and the stage now! Maybe you should find an activity where he can become more extroverted; something he enjoys.

2006-07-03 21:25:24 · answer #11 · answered by lettie 2 · 0 0

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