I had a college sweetheart that I was really into, and I suppose she cared for me. I was with her when she went through a very tough time. Anyways we both had plans to live in a certain foreign country and did so but she got a better job than me and that ended up being the coup de gras to killing our "semi temporary" long distance relationship. It took about 2 years for me to figure that out. Now, I am over her emotionally, yet I feel like its a joke to her when we still communicate? I feel like an idiot everytime I finish talking to her. But I can still see that she is emotionally unhealthy after the event that happened earlier in her life. Is it ok for me to hate her because she wrote me off? Am I a joke for still caring? My life is much simpler without her in it yet I still worry about her if anything. Am I too caring? Is hating her the only way I can make peace with how she wrote me off?
2006-07-03 20:41:55 · 24 answers · asked by whatwouldyodado2006 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't blame you for feeling that way, anyone would, and NO your not stupid for still caring, it just shows what a lovely person you are.. in time you won't hate her , you will just feel sorry for her and be glad your not like her , but try to stop hating her cause it will only make you bitter, if you feel the urge to contact her, put it off, and if she contacts you, make it brief, like your a bit busy.
2006-07-03 20:46:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Caring is part of our nature. We are born that way. HERE'S MY ANSWER, YOU ARE PERFECT!!! And so am I, and so is everyone else (providing we don't do things against nature). We are part of God and nature, and since God and nature is perfect (yes, even with hurricanes, earthquakes, flooding, etc), so are we. Live your life loving too much, caring too much, experiencing too much. Our time here is limited so have fun with it. Learn to love yourself (I had a real problem with this), forgive yourself, and accept everything for being part of a perfect plan and you will find serenity. Establish your rules and boundaries that you don't allow others (or even yourself) to cross and don't waiver in those boundaries (not even for yourself)...this is the only way people will respect your heart, feelings, and soul. Forgive without regard for the person you are forgiving if it takes that...forgiving is all about you and, if you choose, God.
Take it from a guy who, at 40 years old, with terminal cancer and learning that my whole life was a lie and filled with fake stuff. Read the introduction and ending to a book called 'The Four Agreements' by Don Miguel Ruiz. Hopefully it will help. YOU ARE PERFECT, THE UNIVERSE CAN'T EXIST WITHOUT YOU! I AM GLAD YOU ARE HERE!
START THE GREATEST LOVE AFFAIR OF YOUR LIFE....WITH YOURSELF!
Joy and peace lie in knowing that we are part of a perfect plan. You are where you should be, right here, right now. There is true comfort in knowing that.
2006-07-04 03:54:45 · answer #2 · answered by Mark McFarland 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Hating will only hurt you and other people who care about and will come to care about. Life is full of pain and painful experiences, but you can let it make you grow. You are not a joke for caring. You cannot be too caring, even if it kills you. That is why we are here. To love, even when not loved back. Maybe what you are calling "caring" is something else? Maybe you thought you needed her, but you don't. Let her go, forgive her, forgive yourself, move on, keep caring. It keeps you alive.
2006-07-04 03:48:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, hating her isn't the best way to get peace of mind. It's easy to see that you still care about her. you can never care too much about anyone. Go ahead with life and continue talking to her, too. But, don't go on feeling like you should hate her for what she did. be respecful to why she did it. she probably needed to move on just as much as you do now. Have fun, go out and meet new people, get into another relationship, and move on.
2006-07-04 03:51:52 · answer #4 · answered by cool arrow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The job thing, is bogus. sounds like there is another underlying reason why things didn't work out. The job thing is just an excuse. There's nothing wrong with still caring, maybe you are probably better as friends, than you were as a couple.
2006-07-04 03:55:20 · answer #5 · answered by jennifer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should care about yourself first, you need to move on, be happy in your life before you can help her, you have helped her enough so far, but it seems you still carry on a lot of baggage from her. leave her a while, find peace and happiness in your own life. remember, if you hate someone, you won't be happy. forgive and forget but not hate.
2006-07-04 03:49:54 · answer #6 · answered by Discovery 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never hate a person you onced loved. Forgive & forget. Holding a grudge takes to much effort!
2006-07-04 03:47:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Until you forgive the person (but not forget) you cannot move on. You must release the hate, the anger, and forgive. That does not mean you'll go back with him. Just forgive and move on.
2006-07-04 03:45:44 · answer #8 · answered by Yourname Here 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u should stop hating her and just be a friend in this way u willl come up wid the facts of life coz if u will be hating her for a long time u urself cannot be comfortable.so be friends
2006-07-04 03:55:56 · answer #9 · answered by Saju 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a kind soul and you still take her as your friend. Keep it up you don't have to hate her even normal friends can also care for each other.
2006-07-04 03:50:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋