How to refuse people asking to borrow money?

Question

What would be good, polite but firm refusal points to refuse people asking for money for loan or borrow. None of them returns the money on time and I have to run behind them as if it is my headache to get the money back from them. NOBODY should gets any money from me for borrow or loan. how to refuse firmly?

Answer 1

I just say, "no thank you - I don't care to do you a favor, just now."

Only once has someone followed my refusal with -

"Well, can you loan me some, later?"

To which I had to then say - "Never. . ."

Answer 2

This depends on your policy about truth-- are a "honesty makes the best policy" person or are you fine with deceptions that make your relationships with others easier? In either case, you should be firm and gentle in your response to prevent any possible equivocating on your part or pleading on the potential borrower's part.

If you prefer to tell the truth, you should simply state, "I'm sorry but I don't loan money to people." This will require a firm stance especially if the person is especially keen on borrowing money from you. A more tactful response might be "I don't like collecting on debts so I don't loan out money." Any pleading should be responded to with a firm "I'm sorry but no."

If you are fine with a white lie then you're probably better off with a "I'd like to help but I don't have the extra money." Any other excuse pertaining to money could be used here. However, this is a softer response since the goal of the fib is to spare the borrower's feelings so it might cause them to hope that they can wear you down with their arguments.

So, really, I think a firm honest reply is the best response as it allows less room for negotiation. When you give a simple reason for why without any room for remorse (you're being very practical), it is easier to handle these situations. It is bad etiquette on the borrower's part to strain a friendship for a loan or not respect your wishes but it is not bad etiquette to refuse such a request.

Answer 3

I just answered a question "How do you say no?"
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AmQ3_t4geihwBjOqtbika1zsy6IX?qid=20060704014320AABLYzf I hope you find that useful. Let me emphasize the 'don't explain' part. If you give reasons for your refusal, then the asker will rebut that reason, and you will be racking your brain to give another reason, which will only get you further rebuttals, and then .... Oh, you've been there and done that? Then you should know better next time.

Now let me make an alternate suggestion. If this a person whose friendship you truly value and want to keep, offer the lend them the money on condition that they give you collateral. If it's sizeable collateral, like a camera or stereo, get a signed and notarized agreement that the item is yours if the loan is not repayed by a certain date. That way, even if your friend if forced to default on the loan, you can sell the item to make up your loss and the friendship is saved. A person who refuses to see the utility of such an arrangement probably doesn't put much value on the friendship.

Answer 4

Just say NO!!! If you have to just say hey I'm broke from lending out so much money and not getting paid back and then ask them, hey got a few bucks so I can get something to eat don't use the word borrow especially if it's from someone who already owes you peoples audacity never fails to amaze me they owe you money and come back to borrow more without repaying the 1st turn the tables and they will shut their mouth and probably won't ask you again if they do just use the same line I've actually shamed a few people over the years this way and recovered a little of my loans now I Just Say No unless it's my children where as I'm an easy touch but now they they are grown when i need money i can go to them or vice versa

Answer 5

As you get more matrure you will realize that only you control what you do, thus you are letting people borrow money from you.
Stop blamming others and take accountability for your own behavior.
Just say NO. There isn't any need to explain anything. Getting into long explainations gives the person the chance to convince you to to loan them money. Actually you can say more than no.....you can say "No, my new policy is that I can't loan out any money." If they keep asking, you change the subject, and if you have to just walk away After hearing no enough times your friends will stop asking.
Concerning Family.....they will do anything to make you feel quilty, if you let them. I am getting the feeling that you have money ....and some people in your family struggle financially and depend on your to bail them out. It is up to you whether you want to help or not. Sometimes by your giving them money they never learn to take care of themself in life. Other times a family member truely needs a hand. I would suggest that if you want to help out then give them some money and tell them it isn't a loan but a gift. The problems wtih gifts is that family members will wonder why you help one member and not them. Only you know how to spend your money.


Remember that your NO needs to mean NO. And no one can make you load them money.......you let them control you. Time for you to take control. We teach people how to treat us. If you usually give in people will ask you and bother you until you give in. If you don't ever give in consistantly , the friends and family will stop asking, if you do eventually give in, you have taught them that if they ask long enough they will get what they want.

I hope this helps

Answer 6

First, make it your policy to never lend money. Then hold your ground. I do this and it is never a problem. I tell them that in the past I had people that would not pay me back so know I have eliminated this problem with a universal rule. I don't lend money. This works for family too.
If some one really needs money ($ 20 or less) then I just give it to them. If it is a gift, then their is no resentment and most of the time that person will pay you back ( they don't like the fact that you appear better than they do)

Answer 7

Simple. If you cannot afford to lose the entire amount without ruining the relationship you have with the mooch, then you can simply say, Gee, I am sorry but I do not have the money to lend you (you can add...this time). Then you can make suggestions how they can earn the money, or borrow from the bank.
I did it one time (yes, I had it, no I didn't want to loan it) and I have never been asked by that person again.

Answer 8

As a rule you should NEVER loan money to family and friends unless it is a DIRE EMERGENCY! It takes them from being your friends to being in your debt, it puts you in a bad position and is stressful for everybody involved. The best way is to simply say No. Point blank. If they inquire as to why that is, tell them....you don't feel comfortable, you don't want to have to hound your mates for money they owe, and you've made up your mind. the only thing they can do is get pissed off and if they're your real friends then your money refusal shouldn't be that big a dea....they can ask somebody else.

Answer 9

I've had similar experience before with drunk neighbors comming up to my house asking anywhere from a few dollars to buy cigarretes. I always told them that I didn't had anything. something like Geezz I'm sorry I don't have... and I'll grab my pockets as if I were to show my wallet... but just the simply act told with enough confindence and simulated honesty will do the trick, they won't ask to actually show the content of your pockets or wallets. Don't lend money, give them money, and don't spect to pay back, they won't ask more if they're already in debt with you anytime you have the chance throw that stone in a such a way you're not demaning it but to remind they're in debt that way it's better for you if they owe you not the other way around. you can get more favors from them if you really need them. small favors that you rather not do but make sure you're not obvious as taking advantage of the lended money...don't expect it back and don't lend more than one time. ... make sure to tell anyone that you won't lend more than one time if they haven't paid, that way you make sure they can only ask one time. Another is to throw out a joke saying that you're not a charitable institution.

Answer 10

this was a problem I had for a long time. If I had the money I'd lend it and so often didnt get it back or got it back late.

My partner does not have this dilemma, he lends no more than $10 at a time and he does that rarely. If the person does not pay it back he says. "Well it was worth $10 to find out what kind of person he was."

Mostly he simply says. "Sorry I do not lend money."

Of those he has leant to who have not paid back the money he says. "Well if you paid back the $10 I loaned you .... weeks ago I could afford to lend you $10 now."

Answer 11

You don't have to make any "points" to refuse a loan. It's your money, and if you don't want to lend it, then you don't have to.
The reason people ask you for loans is probably because you have the reputation of being someone who will loan money without discretion.

What you need to do is develop a reputation as being a person who won't lend money. Tell anyone who asks for a loan "I'm sorry, I don't lend money to anyone." Follow this up by not lending money to anyone. Stand by your guns. "No" must mean "no," and you're the only one who can make this so. You'll soon have the reputation of not lending people money, and then they'll stop asking you.

If people stop hanging around with you because you stop lending them money, then they weren't really your friends to begin with.