Is it common for a 4yr old telling his friends what to do?

Question

He does it quite often, e.g. "you go take that slide and I'll take this one", or "Bobby, get on (the monkey bar), you can do it!", or "Bobby, you shouldn't do it again. You did it already."

Does that indicator a domineering or aggressive behavior? Or it's common among 4yr old first-born boys?

Answer 1

There are those that just dream,then there are those that act upon their dreams( I call them achievers) there are those that were born to lead and there are those that follow! Seems like your son is a natural born leader.As long as he is doing it in a good way and not being abusive,I wouldn't try to divert his way of thinking.I rather imagine the other kids accept him as their leader other wise they would argue or just not play with him!Kids have away of working things out among them,We as adults should be aware of what they are doing but give them the chance to realize things and make adjustments.Sometimes their feelings may get hurt but they learn that is part of life too!

Answer 2

Before I read the last sentence, I formulated my answer, which was going to be "is he a first born?'

First borns are known to be more anxious than later siblings, and can be either very domineering or very passive. My son, a fist born, is a pedantic child, and he like things to be "just so". Sometime, he will decide that he wants all the kids to use the cars with the larger screws, or that he wasnts the red chair and not the green one. He also tells me every time his sister does something naughty - they have a very strong sense of right and wrong.

I would say, yes it is common. However, if you do not allow him to dominate the others, he will soon learn that there are some things in life that he cannot change - and that is also a good lesson for life itself.

Best of luck!

Answer 3

Don't worry about it. As long as he is may just be a natural leader. My daughter was the same way so I enrolled her in a pre-school program hoping that being with more children she wouldn't be so bossy. The teacher said that from day one, she was the ideal student and not bossy at all. She is going into 1st grade this year and still tells everyone how to play and why they should play her way, but at school she is wonderful and all the kids like to play with her. As long as he isn't rude or disrespectful he's fine. There will always be a bigger kid someday in school that will put him in his place if he needs it. He's perfect!

Answer 4

He's just finding his place in the group. Believe me, if one of the other kids doesn't agree they will let him know!! My younger son is the same sort of child who knows what he wants and thinks everyone should feel the same. Some children are just more assertive at saying what they want to happen than others. As he develops his social skills he will realise that he cannot always take command of everybody else. Make sure he doesn't dictate to you but that he knows it is ok for him not to be in control all the time. He'll be fine and probably very confident.

Answer 5

I have twin boys they are 4yrs old and one of them is just bossy like lets say if there is something he wants he'll just tell his brothers (cause I have 4 boys total) to get it for him even if it's within he's reach or like you said when they are playing he'll always go first and then decides who will go next or who will be what but he may not be aware of this have you brought it to his attention try telling him and see if it changes anything the only reason I say this is because I know I have to let my son know that he's being bossy and no one like a person who is bossy he'll stop but then he'll do it again I guess just keep reminding him and let him know it's not okay I figure it's better for him to know now before it gets worse I know my son who is now 7 used to do it and now its my other son who is doing it to him but it will go away just keep reminding him IT'S NOT OKAY AND YES IT DOES HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH HIM BEING THE DOMINEERING ONE

Answer 6

Its absolutely normal as he's showing Dominative characteristics. He'll be a leader! But you'd better keep him in check or else it might turn to be bad behavior or bullying. Maintaining the difference between Dominating and Bullying at his age is The parents'(your job), because he might not understand what he is doing.

Answer 7

sounds common. 4 year olds are bossy. But if your examples are what he is saying it sounds good to me. It shows co-operation, encouragement and teaching of right from wrong. If he is getting too bossy then you need to encourage him to ask the other kids their idea. Ie: Bobby what would you like to do next.
It's normal but as a parent you need to guide him so he doesn't drive kids away. His way actually sounds fine, problems happen when he will only play with kids who do it "his way"

Answer 8

Well, if he is an oldest or only child, at that age, they are being assertive as individuals. It could be he's imitating his nursery school teacher, or a babysitter. I wouldn't worry about it, but you may want to step in if he gets too bossy and remind him we all share. LOL, I have a son who, when he was in kindergarten, decided to copy his teacher and told the computer to go to the office because what it was doing was unacceptable!

Answer 9

"Does that indicator a domineering or aggressive behavior?" -yes ...." Or it's common among 4yr old first-born boys" -yes .. can become a problem if yer not careful

Answer 10

he is doing great finding his own idenity. he is not being mean or agressive. he is a good leader and is helping them to learn also. the bobby comment sounds like encouragement. the slide comment teaches sharing. remeber he is learning this from someone so if you don't like it check your self and others around him to see if you/they need to chage up the way the speak to others. kids at this age are like sponges they soak up everything they see and hear and try to mimic it. he is ok just remind him that it is okay for bobby to do things he wants to do too.