My girlfriend & me have been together for over a year. We openly profess our love for one another & we are best friends. This past Winter we had a serious falling out period. As a result we weren't together at all for 2.5 months. It all built up because of poor communication between us. We're both very aware of how sensitive we can be to any criticism, so often times small things that should be discussed weren't. As a result they got bigger & eventually I reached the point where I just let it all out & ended up breaking up with her. During the 2.5 months apart both of us were miserable. We've since reunited & we're as happy as we've ever been. We learned a valuable lesson & I arranged for us to go to couples counseling to help our communication so the same thing doesn't happen again. But it seems she can't let go of the fact that I broke up with her so abruptly. After 2 great months back together she is still sometimes depressed & insecure. How much mourning time is "normal"?
2006-07-03 19:42:36 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think with the couples counseling that will help a great deal. I'll be honest, I've been in the same boat, and I know exactly how what your girlfriend is feeling.
Of course she's insecure. Even though you were encountering a 'rough patch' in your relationship, she had it in her mind that you would work through things and move forward. Instead, you chose to break things off. I am sure she was caught offguard, and was hurt and devastated by the split.
The problem is this: you broke up with her. Now, in her mind, she's going to wonder, well if the going gets rough again, is he going to bail? It's always going to be on her mind. She trusted you with her heart, and you broke it. That's the bad part.
The good part is that you are making the effort to ensure this doesn't ever happen again through couples counseling. I think by attending these sessions, being very open and honest and really learning to communicate effectively with one another, in time she will learn to trust you again with her heart. Good luck to you.
2006-07-03 19:56:56 · answer #1 · answered by jerkygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You express yourself very well and It sounds that your relationship is on the right track. She knows the reason why you split up and you're both working at ways of preventing that from happening again. She should realize this and revel in it. She has to know that you were extremely unhappy being away from her ... Let her know that if she is, in fact, trying to get even with you for hurting her ...you were hurt too. You should be let off for time served. If that doesn't work ...leave the b i t c h again.
2006-07-04 03:08:35 · answer #2 · answered by Sam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think she should have gone back with you at all. This was a bad decision on her part. She feels the need to get you back for what you did. You will probably be unhappy with the outcome of this relationship.
2006-07-04 02:47:08 · answer #3 · answered by Busy Lady 2010 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say a maximum of 6 months of rebuilding/mourning would be normal.
2006-07-04 02:45:13 · answer #4 · answered by smurfette_au2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's gonna make you suffer for making her suffer and there isn't a thing you can do about it but take it like a man. She's testing you to see how far she can go with it and not get you mad.
2006-07-04 02:45:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
SOMETIMES ONE OR THE OTHER DON`T TRUST AFTER THIS HAPPENS.
2006-07-04 02:48:45 · answer #6 · answered by Carol H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋