I miss my mother so much...?

Question

Hi guys. I miss my mother. She died last April 15 because of heart attack. I miss her so much. I always see her in my dreams. She's hugging me and whispering words i can't remember when i wake up. Oh, I hate this feeling. My dad died in war when I was 5months old in my mom's tummy... So now, the only family that i have is my foster family (My mom's younger brother). I miss her a lot. I don't know how can i ever move on. I saw her face when she died. It left a marked in my memory. Sometimes, I think of her all the time.... Have you ever felt this way before? How did you move on?

April 7, if i'm not mistaken, my foster dad rushed her to the hospital. She was confined in ICU but she's awake. She even talk to me all the time. I slept in the hospital for 4 days. I remember, it was thursday morning when i told my mom, i'll just take some sleep in our house and wash my laundries. I told her I'll be back on saturday morning with my fiancee. It was saturday morning when i received an alarming phone call from a doctor, telling me my mom passed away that morning. Guys, she was A-Ok when i left her. She's about to leave the hospital on saturday morning. It hurts me that she didn't even waited me... If only, I knew she'll die on saturday, I shud have listen to her when friday morning she told me to come back and bring her burgers. I really regret it. I should've go there.... It was devastating.. sorry, I jsut don't know how to release this pain im feeling right now... thjanks for the answer...

I remember one time, after her burial... Our maid told me that last year my mom made a preminition to her. My om told her that if she dies, she'll wear that white beautiful dress... It is painful...Oh, God.. I don't know what to do... Sometimes, I want to tell her to take me with her...

I'm her one and only daughter. I'm turning 25 now and I might say, I'm old enough to stand on my own... But.. when my mom died.. i find it hard to believe that she's gone and i'm stuck in this feeling of losing her. I cry each night asking her why did she leave me. She once told me that she'll be happy to die if she see me with someone who can take care of me when she's gone. And that's my fiancee. I just can't take the fact that now.. I'm alone. Even though i have a supporting fiancee and foster family plus my fiancee's family, i still feel the emptiness... Sometimes, i just answer all the questions here just to keep myself from thinking about her death. I never said good bye but she left me a word that i can never forget. Her last word was "You are beautiful". That's the last work and kiss i received from her. I am so so sad... i don't know what to doi.. will i ever get out from this feeling.. it's been months now since her death but it's more like, it's just a week...

Answer 1

READ ALL OF THIS! IT WILL CHANGE AND HELP YOU.Actually, I've never been in your position, but my mother has. She lost her neice who was very near and dear to her. I had only met my cousin twice, so it didn't have the same impact on me as it did her (don't get me wrong, I felt horrible). For a while, my mother was depressed. My cousin died of breast cancer, and my mother saw her in her worst state during chemotherapy. She cried for weeks when she died. Soon, she realized that Parissa, my cousin went to heaven, and was laughing at her when she would cry, because, Parissa didn't have any pain or anything to be sad about, and neither should my mom. Now my mom is healthy and happy! I can't imagine losing my mom, she is the closest thing I have. I know you can make it through this. Just remember this, do you think your mom wants to see you crying? No, she's in heaven, and she wants to see her daughter be a strong woman and a happy woman. Your mom is always with you, just because you don't see her body, just because her soul left her body, doesn't mean she left you. She is with you at this very moment while I am typing, and she always is. Anytime you want to cry, or be depressed or think sad thoughts, keep in mind your mother would want to see you strong and happy! Anytime you have problems, pray to God, or whoever you believe in, and also, pray to her. Your mom will always listen. Don't make this obstacle in your life, ruin your life. Instead, overcome this obstacle, because God wants you to live your life to the fullest, and your mom wants the same I imagine. Instead of thinking about the past, think about your bright future. Work hard, and remember, you should love your Uncle just as you did your mom. You have to be strong, be happy, and become successful in whatever it is you choose to do in life, and remember, when the time comes, you will SEE your mom in heaven. She is with you all the time. If you still have trouble being strong, join a sport, or activity in school or your community that will help brighten your thoughts and determination. Busy yourself w/charity, or church. Also, excersising is a must. For one thing, if you are deppressed you might overeat, and let yourself go, and excersise is a great way to let go of sadness and anxiety, and a great way to get energy. In fact it is proven to raise the "feel good chemicals" in your blood significantly, which guarantees you'll be happier after you finish a bout of excersise! Remember you have God and your mother always watching over you and caring about you. If you join these extra activities, your mom will be happy to see you making your life better. I hope I have changed your view on your mother's death. For it wasn't really an end, but a beginning. A beginnning of your understanding that she is happy, and always watching over you. I want you to reasearch Joel Osteen. He is the most visited preacher in the world. He is nondenominational, meaning, that even if you don't believe in God, or Christianity, or if you are Catholic, and not Baptist, or anything else, he won't care. His message is about faith and happiness, he changed my mother and my life, just by us watching him on tv. Look for his shows. Go on the tv guide channel, or its website, and watch his shows. You'll be glad you did. I hope I have changed your view on things. I support you 9375937% =].

Answer 2

My mother passed away when I was eight years old in a car accident. It was awful and I know the feeling of loneliness. I've never gotten over the fact that I grew up without having a mother. I think of it often and ask why did it have to happen. God works in mysterious ways and it will make you a stronger person. I know how bad it hurts but just realize and remember how much she loved you and how much everyone around you cares for you. Be very grateful that you do have fosters around that will be there for you. Your heart will heal but you will always miss your mom. Just know the love is for real and will always be there. You can never take away the wonderful memories. You will be a mom one day and you think of the short times you had with your mom but she has never ever left my heart. Sometimes it weighs heavy but I know my life did go on and wonderful things have happened to me. My life may have not went in the direction it did if not for the accident. I'd give everything back for a chance to have my mom back but I knnow things do happen for a reason. I now have a beautiful daughter and 35 years old. My life did go on even when I thought I wanted to die too when my mom did. You will get through, although I know its so hard.

Answer 3

I am soooo sorry for all your losses. I come from a totally disfunctional family and I don't talk to most of them because I can't have my daughter around that disfuntion.

It seems the "sane" family members are all gone. I had an aunt that passed away six years ago and my brother committed suicide when i was 17. he was older and use to take care of me when I was young, he then married had a great life until his wife cheated on him. I guess he couldn't take the pain. I get angry because he left me and my daughter will never know him.

But anyway I dream about him, and know during my late teens and early 20's he watched over me.

I am sure your mom and dad are doing the same. I wish I could say time ends the pain but it doesn't it just eases it up some. You are sooo young and your parents would want you to make the best out of your situation.

Answer 4

I am so sorry. I've never dealt with anything like that. I loved my grandfather and grandmother (great grandmother) dearly and was very close to them, but nothing like my mother.

Did you get to say goodbye? My grandmother had her 95th Birthday Party right before she died, so it was like that brought some closure. Like we all got to say goodbye. It's very important that you get that closure. Some people write letters to their loved ones and leave them on th grave with some flowers. Others burn the letters. I wrote my grandmother a letter after she died. It made me feel better.

I don't think you have been grieving for too long, but if you feel like your grief is getting in the way of you living, you might went to consult someone. If you are religious, perhaps your imam or rabbi or pastor or priest. Or perhaps a therapist. They can be there for you to just listen.

Don't forget that your friends and family are there supporting you as well. Sometimes it's good to just have a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear and open arms.

Don't shut off from the world. My friend's brother died and there are parts of her you can't reach. She's pretty much normal, but if you know her you can tell that when it happened she didn't deal with it, just tried to forget.

I hope I helped. I've never felt that way, never had an experience like that. I cannot imagine your sorrow.

Answer 5

Take comfort in knowing that although her physical body died - her spirit is very much still alive - that's why you can see her in your dreams. Live the life you know she would have wanted you to live - be the best son/person/young man that you can be - make her smile down upon you and make her proud. Talk to her like she's with you still. You can't change what/when/how/why she died so try turning your grief into something positive. Create a scrapbook in her memory - something you can put pictures in and remember her by. Something you can write in and cherish and show to your children some day so they know their late grandmother. Talk to people, grieve, and then let it go and carry on. She wouldn't want you to be going through so much pain.
I know it's hard, but you shall overcome it.

Good luck to you.

Answer 6

I am so sorry for your loss. No, I've never had that feeling. Well, my great grandma died and I was sort of close, but never anything like that. What I have to say is, remember all the good times that you had with your mother and father. Just remember that if you have the Lord in your heart, you will be able to see them in Heaven. I hope that you will be okay. Once again, I am very sorry for your loss.

Answer 7

Oh sweetie! I so feel for you! I was 19 (brother was 17, sis 16, other sis 13) when we lost our mother. Our brother held her as she passed away. It took a looooong time for him to move on.
Then when our youngest sister was 17 she seen our dad pass away. We all can relate to you so much.
I can barely remember my mom's voice because its been almost 6 years now. I still have every memory clear as ever but her voice is just a faint whisper to me now. My dad's voice is still very strong in my mind though. I still cry on their birthdays, holidays, their wedding anniversary, and the day they became my guardian angels. Thats what your mom is now. She will always be watching over you, no matter what.
My best advice is to remember her voice, everything you guys did together. Think about happy times, sad times, funny times, all of it. Everything, never forget it. They say time heals all wounds. Eventually you will be able to move on and go through life. It just takes alot of time.
Email me if you ever want to talk. :)

Answer 8

First of all, my condolences. Yes, I have felt that way. I lost my mom in 1982. I wrote a journal to help me, and I think it would help you as well. Write down everything you can think of about her. All the good, bad, no matter what write it in the journal. Keep it with you, and if you feel the urge to write something - maybe a scent reminded you of her, or you saw her favorite flower or heard a song she loved - write it in the book. This will help greatly, as part of the problem is you are afraid you will forget her. You won't. If you can, try to write down what she says and does in your dreams. It can be insightful and may help you to understand things more. I believe that those dreams are not just dreams, I had them too from my parents, and they were telling me it would be all right, that they were okay and loved me. I know that sounds strange but it is true. As to your mom dying in your presence, my mom and then 10 years later my dad died in my arms. I will never forget either of them, but for some reason it gave me peace of mind, as they did not seem to suffer. My mom had cancer, and my dad had Alzheimer's. It is not easy to witness anyone's death, especially a loved one, as we don't want them to go. I sincerely wish you the best, and know that things will improve for you.

Answer 9

Takes time.. My dad just pass away. haven't really miss him yet. But it hit me someday. But I didn't get along with him so don't know when that will happen. My mother pass away when I was young and but I remember it. Does take time to get over it. But you always remember her and because you are a lady you remember her more. But you can't think of her all the time your life will never be what it should be. Move on start up with a new friend that will help..

Answer 10

A mother is so precious you never know how much she means to you until you have her taken away from your life. I spent 22 years of my life not even knowing who my mother is or what she looks like but I finally found her after 4 years of searching for her. I know how you feel but in this case you should always remember the good times you and your mother shared. Your mother is always in your heart every time you think of her just remember that she will always be with you. You're wounds will eventually heal in time...