my bf goes to church with me when i ask him to, and he always says he enjoyed it, but he would prob. never go by himself if i didn't ask him to, I am a strong Christian and i am having doubts about this relationship if he isn't as strong as me. Is this the right idea, or should i stick with him and see if he comes around to Christ himself.. it sorta seems like i cannot change his mind.. i'm soo confused i don't know what to do about this whole situation. what would you do? please help.
2006-07-03 17:52:21 · 21 answers · asked by Brooke 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
My fiancee was the same way Im a firm beliver and even though she was raised catholic and still held to a few of her roots she had grown very far apart from god, we had many a fight over this and i consulted my pastor who explained that forcing someone into your beliefs is never the answer no matter how bad you want them to believe. God wants all of us to be near to him and have undieing faith in him but hestill gives us free will to reject him if we so choose because chossing to do somthing means you actually believe it rather then being forced which is just slavey. If you love or believe you could love this man then by all means stand by him you may afterall be gods hand acting in his life to bring him to the faith, just dont do it with pressure and guilt. do it with love and undestanding for where he is right now in his spirituality. it sounds like hes off to a good start and he (as most of us have at one point or another) will need someone whos even farther in their travels with god to ask of, rely on, and help see him through a world which nowadays makes it so hard to live a good christian life. I guess te best advice i can give is pray....god will let you know what to do:).....P.S My fiancee is now very much a believer in christ and looks to me for guidance now and then, she once critisized me as a "bible thumper" and now we openly share and debate our views on OUR faith....all it took was backing off and letting god take the wheel i hope your situation goes as perfectly, God Bless
2006-07-03 18:11:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would say that you have recognized some serious red flags in your relationship. If your boyfriend isn't a committed Christian it could be that he has never been born again and only thinks he is a true Christian. You probably know the verse about not being unequally yoked and you want to be very careful before things get too far along.
Does your boyfriend have a consistent prayer life? Does he read the Bible on a regular basis? How long has he been a Christian?
If he hasn't been a Christian for too long then maybe he just needs to grow more. But it sounds like the Holy Spirit is trying to warn you, so I would seek Him in prayer and follow his leading.
Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
2006-07-04 00:58:56 · answer #2 · answered by Martin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God is not the author of confusion. You definately need to step back and seek God about this relationship. I had a similiar experience with an ex-boyfriend. He would always say that I could help him get closer to God. That scared me because I knew that a relationship with God is an individual thing and since I am not God I didn't want the pressure of someone relying on me for what only God can provide. If he and I were going to have a relationship that could go anywhere he needed to have his own personal relationship with God that was growing. In the end we did not stay together even though he sought to continue the relationship. Time apart showed me the distance between us and I didn't see him making any steps to go in the same direction I was. A man is supposed to be the spiritual head of a household, so his spiritual condition would seriously affect his ability to function in the role of husband and father. Currently, I am single and celibate waiting on God to bring the right person in my life. I know it will be someone who will be just as serious about ministry as I am. God bless you and may he keep you and direct you on what to do.
2006-07-04 01:14:24 · answer #3 · answered by n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't assume that he would not go without you. Has he said that? Everyone is different maybe he doesn't enjoy the particular church you are at. Go with what God is saying to you. and Above all make sure that this relationship doesn't interfere between you and God. But encourage him and model Christ. Sometimes there is a difference between head and heart.
2006-07-04 01:02:49 · answer #4 · answered by bcooper_au 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I understand that you're stuff in a tough spot. First, I would pray about it and ask God to lead you in the right direction, but more than likely if this guy isn't serious about God now, you begging him to go to church won't make him more interested. Just look at it this way, you planted a seed in him the time that you spent witnessing to him and getting him to go to church with you. If it were me, I would break it off, but I'm sure that's easier said than done on my part. Make sure that it isn't a harsh break up though, that might turn him off for God completely. But I will definitely pray for you and good luck. I'm sure God will show you what to do. God Bless.
2006-07-04 01:09:12 · answer #5 · answered by Amber C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be with someone who isn't a christian can be very hard. You won't always get the support you will need. I mean that if you fall into a hard time in your life, spiritually, he probably won't be there to push you into doing the right thing. Or to talk you into doing what needs to be done. His focus is probably on wordly things instead of Spiritual things. As long as he isn't hindering you into doing what God wants, then there shouldn't be a problem. Just remember to keep your focus on God. That is what is most important. Maybe by staying with him, you can help him to become more in tune with our Lord. Pray about this matter. God will help you make the right decision.
2006-07-04 01:00:47 · answer #6 · answered by oceanchic66 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really care for him just leave him, chances are you'll just ruin his life. God helps does that help them selves; you on the other hand you only think about your self and even to God that's wrong. God is everywhere not just in church, and while you try to find him else where he follows you everywhere. he wanted man and women to be together not separated by just your beliefs. Christians have killed more people in the name of God than anything don't kill your relationship on the same beliefs.
2006-07-04 01:37:40 · answer #7 · answered by myamoreterno 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps youre the one that should change. Maybe he's right for not attending a service for something that he does not believe in. I bet you didn't think of that, now did you? Don't force your beliefs on him as it will only make you two grow farther apart. He may be just saying that he enjoys going just to humor you.
2006-07-04 00:58:17 · answer #8 · answered by SquizzleSquerk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to him and tell him what is on your mind. I think of dating as a way to find a spouse. This should be a major part of your decision (religion). See what he thinks about it. It is important to encourage him, but you can only do so much. Keep inviting him to church and praying that God will bring him to his knees. Pray with him, too, if you feel comfortable with that. God bless you!
2006-07-04 00:58:40 · answer #9 · answered by SarahJane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try try try to get him saved. God wants EVERYBODY in heaven! http://www.miraclechannel.ca/index.php?page=chpl_s is a good site, or try taking him down the "romans road" Point is, it sounds like it's time for him to make a desicion, whether he believes or not. Remmeber this has nothing to do with this decision to stay with you or not, they are two different decisions, so do not be like "believe in Jesus or I'l dump you!" But I've seen and experienced the difficulty of dating non-Christians. I have alsoe heard of Christians and non-Christians marrying, and then the unsaved one gets saved later so... Anythings possible!
2006-07-04 00:59:24 · answer #10 · answered by Chris K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋