What do u do when your parents divorce and u feel responsible?

Question

My friend's parents just divorced and she feels responsible for them breaking up. Please help me in helping my bestest friend!!!!!!

Answer 1

First of all, let her know that divorce is NEVER the children's fault. Suggest that she tell her parents how she's feeling. If they're good people they will feel terrible that she feels that way and will do everything they can to assure her it is not true. She could probably use some counseling too. If her parents can not or will not get her counseling, she could seek help from her school counselor when you go back to school in September. In the meantime, she's lucky she has a good friend like you who cares so much about her. You're already helping her.

Answer 2

If your parents have come to the point where they have decided to divorce you can not believe that something that you may or may not have done has brought on such a life changing decision. What is responsible for your parents divorce is what ever has occurred between them in their pass issues that were never or could never been resolved. A simple mistake you may or may not have made could not have brought on such a decision. If you had not done what you did or did not do the issues between your parents would have still been there waiting to be the straw that finally broke the camels back. You are not at fault the unresolved issues are. I wish you the best and I wish you not feel guilty.

Answer 3

Just tell your friend that it had nothing to do with her. The problem is with the parents acting like children. That a marriage only last when both want to work together, however when one doesn't work at it then it doest last. It is possible for the parents to grow a part from each other. It is also possible for one or both to become self centered and not listen to or take each other for granted. The best thing your friend needs to understand is that no matter what your friend did or didn't do would change the out come of the marriage it would still end the same

Answer 4

Tell your friend.
1. I hate divorce & so does God.
2. It is NOT your fault, although every child feels that they are somehow at fault when their parents get divorced.
3. You are normal.
4. Do you know whose fault it is? Your parents fault. Not yours.
5. Seeing that divorce is the way to go in that family, maybe she could divorce her parents for a while (if she is over 18).
6. Find a good youth pastor for counseling.

Answer 5

no child is responsible for the actions of two different human beings and their choices.

tell yr friend that it is normal for her maybe to feel that way, but that in reality it is not that way and she is not at fault at all for her parents divorce. Parents are human beings and sometimes the only sane way to keep things normal they have to split and that does not mean she will loose her parents . It just takes time to adjust and see she will hve two houses instead of one. and so forth.

There are thousands of children every day going through the same thing. And they survive too. But you have to comfort yr friend and tell her /him that no one but the guy and woman involved in the divorcde are to blame for the divorce.

And thinking otherwise should be brouight up to th eparents so they can help the child in turn.

Talking to the parents is a good idea. Maybe they can get a clue about their decisions too.

God always comforts his sheep, we need to have faith and allow God to helpus get up from the falls that come from life. Divorce is very hard on children on anybody and everybody. That is why God does not liek divorce precisely ...to avoid these things taht children have to go through, emotionally and mentally. and phsyically.

PRAYER WORKS MORE THAN ANY MAGIC IN THE WORLD, TRY IT TOO. PRAY FOR YR FRIEND AND HIS/HER FAMILY. I will pray with you since I do pray and it has always worked. Just not instantly I am not saying its like blink an all happens good. You just keep yr faith and you pray....which is "asking God through Jesus" and you tell Him how yo u and your frien feel.

Even though God already knows what s going on, YOU and YOUR friend will be nicely surprised...with a little bit of faith you can make the world go around and a lot better.

I will keep you in my prayers along with yur friend.
REally pray too, aside whatever you want to tell you friend, pray for him/her.

Jesus DID SAY "where more than one pray I will be there" and HE has never failed me.

Answer 6

Tell your friend that it wasnt her fault in any way that her parents broke up. Her parents were already having problems before and it just ended up like this. Right now though your friend will need someone that will be there for her, because the next few weeks, months, or year will be hard for her to accept. Have her talk to her mom and dad too.

Answer 7

More than likely she is the reason they stayed together as long as they did. Speaking from experience, I know my parents stayed together probably 3 years too long b/c they didn't want to hurt my brother and I. It just strained the relationship more than it was in the first place. I have never met any divorced couple who blame their children. It will take time, but it will heal. Just be her friend, and listen when she needs to talk. You don't have to have the answers, just the shoulder to cry on.

Answer 8

Your friend is just not that powerful....she can't make anybody do anything. Her parents are free thinking people and have made a decision based on a million things she probably doesn't know about and doesn't have any control over. The best thing you can do for her is to get her to talk to somebody like a counsellor at the school or church.

Answer 9

if i were you i would tell her mum or dad that your friend feels like it's her fault.. she needs to hear it from them that it is not her fault. They probably havn't had time to stop and think about her much.. it's sad but it happens often in divorce.. too busy with their own stuff.. i was about 12 when my parents divorced and it's a hrd time, my bf's kids were 7 and 4 and when he got divorced , it's always hard on the kids, but nevr their fault.

Answer 10

Just tell her that it's not her fault. All kids think that parents breaking up is due to them but it never is. People don't break up because of a conflict over someone else, they break up because they have a conflict against the other.