Why do women/girls like to be treated like garbage?

Question

It seems like women are attracted to guys that treat them poorly and are bored by guys that treat them well. They say something along the lines of "Steve is nice and treats me well but there's something about John. He's kind of mean to me but I'm really attracted to him" Something like that. Why?

Answer 1

let me tell you the first thing about women... never take advice from women about women. Let me prove that one to you. I once asked my sister two questions. The first question was "what do you look for in a guy?" I got the typical "i want a guy that treats me good, does sweet things for me, and blah blah blah". then i asked her to describe the guys that she has had the longest relationships with. well I'll be damned if those two answers weren't the farthest away from each other as they could be. Now some girls you ask may get a good piece of advice in there once and awhile, but let me tell you the three "C's" of what a women looks for in a man. Confidence is probably number one. Not to be confused with arrogance, confidence is not having a self esteem problem. Know in your head that you are good enough for a women, but don't think that you are better than her. The second: Control. Control is about being your own person and in control of your own life. Being a decision maker and being confident in the decision. Taking charge of a date for example. None of this crap about i don't know, what do you want to do. This is where many many men falter. Control in this manner is not about controlling what a woman does. it's about being a take charge guy. One word of caution about this is that there may be feminist or two out there that don't like this kind of crap. Those women need to be kicked to the curb. The third is a challenge. Never let a woman think that you are a loser. Women want what other women want. Let her think other women want you. never wait around for a women and beg her like a puppy dog. you have your own life, live it. and if you don't, pretend. go out with your friends, go on dates with other women. And if and when you start dating a women, remember that you still have friends. never let a women tell you "let me think about it". that's just postponement for her to tell you no with hopes that you will forget about it. I'm not in any way telling you to treat a women like crap. a lot of people assume that from me when i tell them this stuff. you need to treat your woman good, but do not be her little bi***. Bottom line, women want a man to be a man. The big protector. The problem with the "jerks" is that they portray these traits way more than the nice guys, therefore their attraction to them. As a man, what you need to do is find the happy medium. Be a gentleman. Open doors, and treat her like a lady, but be a man about it, not a p**** whooped fool. if something doesn't work try something else. accept that you need to change

Answer 2

Okay, if someone actually said something like that...they are NOT normal. I've left several guys that have treated me badly...and to say that, I'll have to elaborate and tell you that some girls just attract those types of guys.

If you are going to act vunerable or insecure about anything around those types of guys, they will take advantage of that mentality and make it worse by manipulation. What's sad is that you don't catch the manipulation most of the time until it's obvious or too late.

I DID date a few nice guys in between the bad guys and it just didn't click with the nice guys...after all I am looking for The One. I imagine you're tired of giving females credit for finding the right match. SO...if it gives you any hope at all, I can tell you that I've met a much nicer guy, and we've been together for a year. He doesn't steal from me, use verbal put-downs, physically harm me, threaten me in any way, or have any addictions except for caffiene and nicotine. That's a relief, isn't it?

Answer 3

Attraction isn't a choice. It's a decision made by the subconscious mind that the conscious mind has little if any control over. Women only make one egg a month, so they have to be very selective about who they're attracted to. A man that needs to be nice to a woman is assumed to be making up for some other deficiency, real or imagined on the man's part. A man that is a jerk is a man that doesn't have to be nice. Also, and this is an instinct that goes back to the caveman days, a man that's dominating towards a woman is also likely to be dominating towards other men and situations in general. Which means he will be able to defend the woman from threats from other men and predators. Also, a man that's dominating is more likely to have dominating offspring, which are more likely to be attractive and successfully mate. So women are attracted to men whose offspring are likely to reproduce themselves.

Answer 4

Noone likes to be treated like garbage. So many factors could be at work here... Fear, anger, rebellion, failure to see yourself with value/worth and thus allowing yourself to be treated the way you really feel about yourself. Inner healing is needed, the Lord can provide this.. also seek friendships with others who will love and accept you unconditionally, and will love you enough to tell you the truth. Be willing to take their advise to heart. By all means if someone is being abusive to you get yourself out of that situation. Blessings to you!!

Answer 5

I'll be the first to say that i rather not be treated like garbage ; most ppl do take the treatment because of physical attraction though

Answer 6

its a hormone thing I'm sure. But I'm 31 and the nice guys are more attractive to me than the rebellious ones now. But when I was 21, I wanted the tough guy. Now I want one like Hoss from Bonanza. Go figure. I think its hormones. try for an older person they will appreciate you.

Answer 7

women, more than men, seem to be inclined to get into relationships with men who don't treat them well. 99% of the time it stems from low self-worth; even if they are very attractive women. chances are, they have been made to feel inadequate at some point and find that position - while not comfortabe, at least familiar

Answer 8

Sometimes what happens in person's past will affect what they do in the present. Most women have had a lot of bad experiences with men in the past and end up being in relationships that are dysfunctional.

Answer 9

Maybe that is all a girl is used to. Maybe her whole life she has dealt with mean abusive guys and she is afraid of change. Some girls like to be controlled and they feel that if a guy is bossing them around and abusing them they must really care.

Answer 10

As stupid as that sounds, I have to agree with you. My sisters, my girlfriends as well as myself have all done it. I dont know if it has do with low (or lack of) self esteem or what? But, I do have to say - I personally have dated guys that were soooooooo nice it drove me nuts because just once I wanted him to get angry or argue about anything. I honestly used to say stupid **** (like the sky isn't blue because of the ocean - or water - but because yellow (sun) and green (grass) made blue haha I know, I said to get an opinion out of him) and he would always agree - eww. Women want MEN no matter how we can get them.