what is your best blond joke?

Answer 1

santa clause, the tooth fairy, a dumb blonde and a smart blonde are walking down the street. there's a $100 bill on the ground. who picks it up?

Answer: no one. there's no such thing as a tooth fairy, there's no such thing as santa clause, there's no such thing as a smart blonde and the dumb blonde thinks it's a candy wrapper!

Answer 2

Blonde Joke Bank Robbery

Two blondes decided to rob a bank together. The first blonde, Judy plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second blonde, Buffie, in great detail.

The robbery begins.
Judy drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to Buffie, "I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you understand the plan?"

"Perfectly," said Buffie.
Buffie goes in the bank while Judy waits in the getaway car.

One minute passes . . .
Two minutes pass . . .
Seven minutes pass . . . and Judy is really stressing out.

Finally, the bank doors burst open! And here comes Buffie. She's got a safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car. About the time she gets the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out.

The guard's pants and underwear are down around his ankles while he is firing his weapon. As the gals are getting away, Judy says "You are such a blonde! I thought you understood the plan!"

Buffie said, "I did . . . I did exactly what you said!"

"No, you idiot," said Judy. "I said tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!"

Answer 3

A blonde, a brunette and a readhead are stuck on an island. For years and years they live there, until one day they find a magic lamp. They rub and rub and sure enough out comes a genie. The genie says "since I can only give out 3 wishes, you may each have one."

The brunette goes first, "I have been stuck here for years, I miss my family and my husband and my life-- I just want to go home" ... POOF she is gone.

The the red head makes her wish "This place sucks, I want to go home too" ... POOF she is gone.

The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie says to her "My dear what is the matter, "I wish my friends were here" ... POOF!!!

Answer 4

There was a Blonde, Brunette and a Redhead, they were taking a road trip. The car breaks down, so now they have to walk.
The Brunette said, "i'll bring some food in case we get hungry"
the Red head said, "i'll bring some water in case we get thirsty."
the Blonde said, "i'll bring the car door so we can roll the window down in case we get hot."

Answer 5

i call it another test.

There was a blonde driving a ferrari. A cop pulls her over for speeding, the cop asks," can I see your license and registration please!"
The blonde responds, "license and registration what is that?"
The cop respnds," you will find your license in your purse and registration in your glove compartment."
The cop gets the license and registration and goes back to the car, and he calls dispatcher and reports it. The dispatcher replies," this wouldnt be a blonde in a ferrari would it?"
The cop replies," yes it is."
The dispatcher says, "go back to her car and drop your pants."
The cop responds back,"I cant do that!"
The dispatcher says, "trust me, just do it!" then the cop replies,"ok whatever you say!"
So he walks back to her car, and drops his pants.
The blonde turns around and says, "oh no, not another breathalizer test!"

Answer 6

why did the blonde fall out of the tree?

Cuz she wuz trying to rake the leaves.

Answer 7

How are a blonde and a turtle alike?

Once they are on their back, they're both screwed.