My teenage daughter truly believes I hate her and that I love my other two children instead. no matter what I do,or dont,for that matter she still clings on to this feeling. What do I do?
2006-07-03 16:28:06 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Since we don't have any details, I will simply say that I think it is pretty typical for teenage girls to feel like their moms hate them and that eveyone else is loved more than them. I felt the same way and I'm 50 now. Assuming you really aren't doing anything to foster her beliefs, she'll get over it in a few years. Have patience. This will pass.
2006-07-03 16:32:22 · answer #1 · answered by wolfmusic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually she probably hangs onto this feeling for reassurance. Strange I know, but she needs a reason for things going the way they are, and since she's powerless and you aren't (in her eyes) you must be to blame. I would set a day aside for the two of you, take her to do something nice that is affordable. Has she wanted to get her ears pierced, her hair done? Maybe a day at a theme park? Just the two of you getting "reacquianted". I know this doesn't feel fair to the other girls, but this is a special case and she needs special attention. This is a time when she's delicate and can decide to rebel and go into drugs and sex or stay with the family and follow their rules and hopefully be protected somewhat from the world at large. Good luck. If nothing elses works, send her some flowers and a thank you note for something she's done. : ) Everyone likes to be appreciated.
2006-07-03 23:45:29 · answer #2 · answered by Derek W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd quit talking about it. Tell her that you've already told her that you love all of your children, and you're not going to discuss it anymore. I used to do the same thing to my Mom, and it was a ploy to get attention.
Lots of parents tend to buy their kids stuff when the kids play that "you don't love me" card. If you have fallen for that, you'll have created a monster. She may also be wanting privileges that you aren't giving her, and she thinks she can guilt you into doing so, even if you don't believe she deserves them.
If you are genuinely worried that the girl has emotional problems, take her to your family doctor for a consult. But it sounds like a spoiled teenager asking for attention and more stuff.
That's just my 2 cents. Your mileage may vary.
2006-07-03 23:34:36 · answer #3 · answered by OK yeah well whatever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try being passive. Tell her that you love her regardless of what she says, and if she continues, say "You know what? You're right. You figured it out."
Then refuse to discuss it further; if she tries to ask you for something, tell her she can do it, or you don't feel like it. Let her pout a bit, and see what it feels like to not have a parent around, and maybe she'll be a little grateful for what she has got. Don't treat your other children any more than you have--don't give them special stuff and deny your daughter just to spite her. Act normal, but be somewhat cool to your daughter.
2006-07-03 23:45:02 · answer #4 · answered by Alex D. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you didn't do anything wrong she is just teenager and is having some hormonal changes right now.
~ you could always sit her down and ask her why she feels this why.
2006-07-04 02:47:24 · answer #5 · answered by jj02 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably can't do anything about it as it probably stems from early childhood. Too late to fix things now that shes grown.
2006-07-03 23:40:01 · answer #6 · answered by ashez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
normal mental behavior their brains are over-run with hormones and the center of their existence is themselves relax there or no phobias forming with age it will resolve itself
2006-07-04 08:21:11 · answer #7 · answered by Clyde 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋