21 years old and NEVER had a boyfriend or date????

Question

I'm a 21 year old, African American female and I have never had a boyfriend or date. All of my close friends and roommates have boyfriends or date, and I have never been able to experience any of that. I know that I am focused on school, but there are times when I'm lonely and wish I had a man in my life I could hang out with or talk too. It seems unfair. What can I do to find a man or should I just quit search all together and face that fact that I'll probably be single til I'm at least 30 years of age?

Answer 1

If you're REALLY focused on school, how can you ever hope to find a man?

Answer 2

Well, don't worry about it! I'm 15 and on the verge to becoming 16. I have the same problem though I have been given many chances to have a girlfriend, but I rejected them, I'm more focused on school. Maybe you're too timid, go out and experience the world some more! Don't give up, never give up. Anything is possible, YOU have the power to transform yourself, no one else, as long as you have the will power of doing so. There are many years ahead of you, you know what I suggest? First, invest a lot of money into assets, which is a income-generating product. So, after you invest and get a salary and all, THEN buy a house for a low down payment, therefore the remaining could be used to buy more assets which would increase your income. My father said, Money is power. Earn a lot and get whatever you want, even a man.

Answer 3

I find that some people can draw the same experiences as dating from just being around people... finally was set up on my 1st blind date so I could say I've dated by a good friend in my early 20s (22).. but I just find personally I find out more and who I'm compatable with with people I run into and meet and chat up than "go out with" on dates...

You'll find someone, but you first have to have some guidelines on who you want... If you are focused on school, how about someone at the library who can be a study partner? You'll never know and will be more relaxing than the putting on that's normally done during a date

Answer 4

You are obviously a focused young woman. You have kept you mind on things that were important to you as you knew that if you wanted to do well in life you had to choose. Now at age 21 you are being affected by what you see around you. What you need is a balance in life. You should be able to date occasionally and go out for fun and still keep your studies up. Next time you detect an interest in you from a guy let it happen but explain to him that you have other unfinished business that comes before a relationship. If you put this up front he should understand.

Answer 5

I'm in your situation. And this is no 12 year old talking here. People and my friends tell me I'm gorgeous, smart, and a wonderful person. But I've never dated either. I think partially, it is that I've never put myself too out there. Sometimes it seems so much easier just to remain in the safe side and wait for it to happen at some point. This is probably not going to do any good.

Also, I've been told that guys seem to sometimes stay away from pretty girls because they think they are out of their league. So these girls will think that there is something wrong with them, when there really isn't.

Put yourself in situations where you're going to meet some new people. Whether it is at the gym or at the club or even at the grocery store. Even if sometimes you're not totally confortable with it, push yourself to start a conversation with a stranger. Meet some new people. Things should develop from there. But don't desperately look for it. That leads nowhere.

Best of luck!

Answer 6

Don't worry about it. Stay focused on school and your career aspirations. If your friends want to date and have boyfriends, then let them. I'm sure you're very smart and talented and you have a lot going for you. The last thing you need is a man to walk into your life and mess everything up!! Stay focused and avoid getting emotionally hung up over this. You'll see......the right man will walk into your life at the right time, and you'll be ready for it.

Answer 7

hey now dont think like that i think being single is a good thing dont let peer pressure get to ya this is definitely not something u want to rush in to and go with any guy you are still reallly young the chances are that u might not be very social so no one noticed u yet but once they do u'll be getting busy. i've been alone for a while but i dont care i see it as freedom just go party and focus on school and the right guy will come

Answer 8

Ask one of your friends to fix you up with a friend of their BF. You sound like a very intelligent, hard working person and you will find the right one. Join some clubs and find a church that has a singles group. Take it slow. There are guys who will try to take advantage of you. It takes awhile to make a good connection.

Answer 9

everyone begins dating at different ages don't compare yourself to others because it will lead you to trouble, besides girl your not missing anything, half the guys out there -well at least the ones that i've met seem to be real jerks! maybe GODS just saving yourself from being in a crappy relationship-he wants you to end up in a great relationship-remember good things come to those who wait-sometimes i wish i waited-if i did maybe i wouldn't be heartbroken today-the way i look at it-you seem pretty dam lucky to me-so don't worry when the time is right, that special someone will come knocking at your door-wish u all the best!

Answer 10

Put yourself out there. Buy a nice dress, do your hair and go out with your girls to a place where you can met some guys. If no one talks to you, so what spark up a conversation with someone. You don't have anything to loose and life's too short to be standing around waiting for what you want. Good luck.

Answer 11

do not rush, education first honey, be single as long as you can,
and if you are lonely call someone to hang out with or go some where to meet people try this meet up .com you can meet with intersts or get in to yahoo personel I meet a few people there that were really cool good luck!