My brother, again, is immature, and I need more help.?

Question

Now, before you say ignor him, I CANNOT IGNOR HIM, I understand you are trying to help, but that answer is NOT what I came for because it DOES NOT work. ...
He is never fair, he can be on the computer for 5 hours in a row, and if I'm on longer than half an hour I'm a spoiled unfair brat, even if he's been home all weekend and me gone for days and not even on since a week ago.
If he doesn't get what he wants he throws those stale decrotive pillows at me, and doesn't give me mercy on the hitting and punching. When I use self defense he hits me harder. I've ran and locked myself in my parents room (unfairly the only room besides his room that HAS a lock), and he takes the liberty of picking the lock. He's older than me by three years (i'm 13)... I know I've asked for help, but it hasn't worked. I'm gone way more than I'm home (my parents don't mind, being its summer) yet in the few hours I'm up and at home, he manages to create a reason to be mad at me and make my life misrabel...

Answer 1

I understand where you are coming from.
I had a similar problem with an older brother way back when, and I had a son who caused similar problems with his siblings when he was a teen.

First, make a list of the problems, the frequency they happen, keep a log if needed. Sit down with your parents and explain to them how serious the problem has become, and that you NEED them to intervene on your behalf, and take control of the situation. Also tell them that you NEED to have a lock on your door.

If they will not listen to you, talk to another adult you can trust ... a teacher, counselor, minister, rabbi, friends parent. Ask them for their help in getting your parents to listen to you and take some action. Also, contact your school counselor and ask for help there, and for ongoing help in coping with the situation.

I so wish I could help more. Email me if you would like (I am female). I have some other ideas, but most of them are going to require some cooperation from your parents.

Blessings to you.

Answer 2

Do your parents every watch the tv program. the nanny?

I think it is time for your family to draw up some house rules with reasonable consiqueces. Then there is no need to argue. Put the rules on a big piece of cardborad. For example. If he goes into your room and takes something from there the consequence would be he would lose computer privledges for the rest of the day. If one of hits the other and no one really knows who started it, the consequence woudl be both of you have a quiet time in your rooms for half an hour. With a list like this, you parents and you don't need to argue. The rules will be the court and jury. You just need to get your parents to support this and be consistant with it.

Sometimes parents get so tired of the arguing that they tune it out. If you can get your parents to read this. It might show them how serious you are.

And good for you for wanting a more peaceful life

Answer 3

I am the oldest of 4 kids in my family. The youngest and only boy is 7 1/2 years younger than me. We didn't fight that much until he was 14 or 15. Discussing this with your parents would be good. Suggesting a schedule for the computer might help. Maybe write a letter to him describing how things feel for you. Or asking him to talk with you about how things are between you both now.

Computers are pretty cheap these days. Maybe you can get one for yourself. I used to babysit every summer from age 12-18. I made enough to buy my own school clothes. I know people pay way more now than when I babysat.

Answer 4

Do your parents see what is going on? They need to tell your brother that his behavior is wrong. Hitting and punching you is very immature and too aggressive a way to handle oneself at sixteen and your parents need to stop this NOW!
If your parents won't help you ask for a lock for your bedroom door but not one he can pick. Get a lock that can only be opened or locked from inside your room. You need a place you can feel safe.
You could also try talking calmly to your brother and ask him why he treats you like this. Tell him you don't understand what the problem is but if there is something you can do to make him less angry with you that you will try to correct it. Tell him you would like to have a better brotherly relationship with him so you would like to talk about ways to make that happen.
Best of luck with this problem. Believe it or not someday you WILL be friends but sibling rivalry is a common problem in families and sometimes takes a while to work out.

Answer 5

Sweetie, the only people who can really help your situation are your parents and your brother.

You are absolutely right. He is immature, unfair, and he hits girls (and sisters DO count.)

Your mom and dad should certainly be concerned about his behavior, his hitting and his lock picking. They may be intimidated by him themselves.

Is there anyone in your family who can support or help you? Such as an aunt or uncle or a grandparent? You might want to look around at options such as that.

If nothing else happens, you can take some comfort in the likelihood that he will grow up some in the next few years and will develop other interests--such as girls. You will also grow up.

My recommendation is that you stand your ground as best you can. I don't think aggressive behavior on your part will help much, but it might be worth a try. Try not to let him push you around just because he is older and bigger.

Use every tool at your disposal.

Lots of times brothers pick on sisters because they aren't really comfortable around other girls, but they are comfortable with siblings.

Also, when and if it is possible, try to find ways to be his friend. You will wind up being pretty much lifelong friends at some point, if you're typical. (I'm good friends now with my sister, many decades after we used to fight battles not unlike yours.)

Answer 6

Like everyone has stated to you TELL YOUR PARENTS, I hate that you are having to go through this type of torment, Because what brother does not realize is that once you guys become Adults HE WILL NEED YOU. Now I do not condone violence but There are a few targets on his body that once you deliver a BLOW He will not mess with you again. Ball your fist and hit him as hard as you can in the middle of his chest that would Knock THE WIND OUT OF HIM, or you can Catch him in the LOWER SIDE OF HIS RIBS, Fist Balled hit as hard as you can. Or you can Punch him in the LOWER Groin between his legs with your fist balled hit as hard as you can,Now these such blows are really for a female who is being ATTACK by a Male this will STOP A MAN/Anybody giving you time to get away. BUT I WOULD FIRST LET PARENTS KNOW, DAD, This type of nonsense should not be taking place, AND AGAIN I HATE THAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH THIS. I WISH YOU THE BEST, AND TELL SOMEONE QUICK, If all else fells CALLING 911 WILL SOLVE EVERYTHING, YOUR BROTHER WOULD GET THE MESSAGE AND PARENTS WILL LOOK STUPID FOR NOT COMING TO YOUR AIDE. Take Care

Answer 7

Have you discussed this with your parents? This sounds to me more than just simple sibling rivalry. This is actually borderline abuse. You are 3 years younger therefore probably much smaller and in no way capable of defending yourself. First things first sit with your parents when he isn't around and then if that doesn't work, speak to a trusted adult t aht will listen. Listen to me, I know that this can be hard and you may feel that if you do this it will make things worse but trust me..you have t oget this under control before it could escalate into something worse. It is no diferent than spousal abuse. Talk to your parents or a school counselor or a friends parents. I really ope that you can feel safer soon!

Answer 8

Appeal to your parents. Tell them the problem, and what's going on. Tell them that you are not home very often, and when you are home, you don't want to be there because your brother is so mean to you.. hell, you could go as far as saying that the reason you're gone so much is because of him.. and I bet it wouldn't be a lie.. tell them that you do not ask for much, but you are asking for them to intervene and allow you something.. if it's time on the computer, then tell them that's what you want. And the next time your brother says something to you.. tell him that he is not the only person living in your house.. and if that doesn't work.. lock him out of the computer.. that'll teach him.

Answer 9

If your parents will not put a stop to this get someone outside your home. Go to a friends mother, the church, the school and if it persists go to the police if he is hitting you. You are a human and do not deserve to be hurt. It is against the law for anyone to lay a hand on you. This could accelerate into a much worse situation. Put a stop to it today. He has some emotional instability that causes him to be angry. He should get help.

Answer 10

Ask your parents for help at a time when there isn't a fight going on. Tell them you need to sit down and work out a fair schedule for computer access.

Keep asking your parents. If you feel you are in serious danger, let your parents know, and document when and how you told them. They are probably very frustrated and not sure what to do either.

you live with a bully, that's hard. Be smart enough to protect yourself, even if it means less computer time.