He doesn't want to read or go outside or do any other outdoor activity, only to play with PC games. Limiting the time with the computer doesn't help. Suggestion?
2006-07-03 15:20:43 · 28 answers · asked by mmd_774 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I have a 12-year old son. You MUST limit his time on the computer/game system. We limit to 2 hours per day. He MUST find other things to do. He reads his magazines, watches TV, reads a book, or goes outside to play. You are the parent, you set the boundaries. If he refuses to comply, you take away the computer/game system.
2006-07-03 15:22:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, thanks for your answer to my question. Secondly, yes you are the parent and part of your job requires you to communicate with your son. If you simply remove or forbid the computer that will only cause him to resent you for it right now. Talk with your son and explain to him you are concerned about his obsession with the games. Ask him if he has any other interests, don't just assume he will like the same things as you do. Another option would be to buy PC software designed to teach as you play. I would also throw in some interest in the games he is currently playing, like show and tell, possibly make a deal that you will try his games if he tries some of your games.
And don't let him throw at you this "But I'm no good at it" speech. If he does simply retaliate with how much time it took for him to become good at the PC games he plays.
If he is at all like my son, it may require "brain" games rather than physical ones. Get him involved in chess, buy some board games or card games. My family loves uno attack, the new sorry, swap-it, phase 10 and skip bo.
I hope I have been able to help in some small way. Be patient, things like this take time and TLC.
2006-07-06 18:13:23 · answer #2 · answered by another_student_mom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can't control himself then it's up to you to control the things that are potentially harmful to him. I have seven children and they all know and obey the rules of the computer and their video games. All except our 12 year old son. He cannot control himself when it comes to these games. He would play from the time he woke up until the time he went to bed if we allowed him to. We have a rule that he can only play on the weekends (even in the summer) and he has four 1/2 hour increments that he can play. He can only play a half hour at a time then has to go do something else. We have a timer he uses and he also has to let someone know that he's playing. If he doesn't follow all the rules exactly then he doesn't play the following weekend. These rules are for his own good and are teaching him the ability to control his actions and impulses. And we also forbid him from talking to us about the games because that's the only topic he will talk about if we let him. It sounds harsh but it's what we had to do. It's taken a while but he is doing fine now and it has actually helped him to take responsibility in other area's too. Good luck and remember...you are the parent, you know what's best for your child. He may not like it but it's not always our job to give them what they want. It's our job to give them what they need.
2006-07-03 15:33:14 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Stacy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son sound like mine except mine is almost 15.
It is very cool with boys to do this right now. Some kids would live on hamburgers if they could too.
My suggestion: force them to do other things. Make them go out. Make them do work. Make them do things that don't have a computer near.
I often bring my son to the book store to read with a drink. Point is that you need to force them to do things or they will not have a childhood....they will only remember playing the computer.
You are the parent...and I always tell my son it is my job to not be cool. In the long run he will thank you.
Some adults spend their life in front of the TV. What is the difference? I suspect their mothers let them do that as they grew up and now they have no interests.
Get tough....and get going.
2006-07-03 15:44:48 · answer #4 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Agree with others. Limit computer time. If he doesn't follow the rules, take it away completely.
Also, take him to some outdoor activities with you and enjoy them together. Enroll him in a summer camp. Find out what he could be interested in doing and pursue that . If he likes shoot-em up games, how about paintball; If he likes car racing, how about go carts; etc.
2006-07-03 15:30:37 · answer #5 · answered by lvr999 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a MAJOR problem, not just with preteens, but also teens, and adults, the internet and games are ADDICTING. But yes spending time with him, in something that interests him would help. Or suggest that you need HIS help doing something because you can't do it yourself. I have five children, and 3 of them are addicted to games on the computer - I've found that telling them each person gets just as long on the computer as they do helps, then they take turns. Also, I take over the computer when all else fails.
2006-07-03 15:29:16 · answer #6 · answered by arvecar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him play all the video games he can handle, but insist on having a family dinner together, and have a strict bedtime. During your family dinners ask questions about his likes and interests. Try to get to know him as an individual and not just a child. By giving him unlimited access to the games you are allowing him to express himself but you are also letting him get it out of his system a bit so that he will become bored with it. Use what he has shared with you in your dinner time conversations to help you find activities, lessons, or sports that he might want to take part in. Offer to help him enroll or participate in these activities. Children are always looking for ways to express themselves, the more you nag the more they want to misbehave. Let him enjoy his games and relax, while you secretly find more suitable pastimes to tempt him.
2006-07-03 15:45:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Use the "Off" button. You are the parent, take control. It isn't good for him to be on a computer or any game system all the time. Do some family things with him. Get him interested in other things. It won't be easy, but it can be done. Start now, while it is still controllable.
2006-07-03 15:40:35 · answer #8 · answered by mopargrapeape 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should find other things he's interested in and do them together. Sending a kid out to play when there's nobody else out there is boring or if he doesn't know anybody. You can take him go-carting, paint-balling, to the track, dirt-biking. There are so many things you can do with him and he'll want to do them if you take the time to introduce him to them. You guys don't have to be good at it, the fun is just doing it. Being on the computer can be addicting, you have to break the addiction.
2006-07-03 15:31:52 · answer #9 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of the computer and video games altogether. Remember those days when people had no television or computer. In fact pretty much all they had was a bible and family values. I wonder what replaced the family values and what became the bible? Care to answer my question for me?
2006-07-03 15:23:20 · answer #10 · answered by ferret_shui 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋