so, this is a kinda stupid teen-love kinda question but MOMS don't help, so i thought i'd ask total strangers!

Question

there's this guy that i'm totally in love with. i think about him all the time, i write songs about him, i even dream about him sometimes. but he doesn't even like me as more-than-a-friend. i know because half-way through my being-in-love-with-him time, i told him...well my friend told him against my will. he came up to me and said that he'd known the whole time ("lucky guess" is what he said) and that he only wanted to be friends. i was crushed. it's been almost 4 months since then and i can't get him off my mind! i don't know what to do. he was afraid to be around me for a week after that, but then he forgot or something. either that or he thought i was over him...HA! i'm so helpless. i tried to like other guys, but it only reminded me of how much i loved this guy. i know that it's totally not worth it, not worth my tears, not worth my love, because he has probably found a new, better, prettier girlfriend now that school's out. i know i am a hopeless case, but please...any advice?

Answer 1

You should not dwell about him. You should move on. Go out to parties, have fun, Hang out with your friends. Distract yourself to keep him off your mind. Most guys don't care about girls looks anyways, well at less I don't. Never think of yourself lower then others.

Answer 2

Hi Bo Banna- I think you may be right about the teen-love thing. Seems to me that he should be chasing you. It may be a sort of infatuation, you don't need that- But I'm sure its out of your control. Infatuations work that way. You're probably attracted to something that does not even exist- you invent these wonderful things about a person because you see something or imagine something. I've been there and have been heart broken many times, now that I think I know better, little has changed. Ignore the guy for awhile and put some other thoughts in your mind and conscious thoughts. I would bet anything that you deserve better than that.

Answer 3

Concentrate on just being good friends with him....sometimes those friendships do have a way of changing into something else when it's least expected. In the meantime, make sure you're not closing yourself off to other possibilities for friends/boyfriends.

Just be careful not to be too intense or needy with him....you may be feeling passionate on the inside, but you need to try and keep it light and breezy on the outside until he shows some sign of wanting things to change (which might not every happen, so don't count on it). If you feel like you can't do that, then I'd suggest taking a break from him altogether and work on your other friendships.

Hope this helps....I know things like this can be tough to go through, but time will make things easier, I promise!

Answer 4

OK, first of all, this kind of love, though painful, is an important part of growing up. Even though it sucks.

I admire that he was straight forward with you and sounds respectful, too. These are things you should remember as they're positive things to look for in a date/relationship.

Right now it really sucks. But you have learned important things about yourself and what you like that will serve you very well as you look around.

Instead of looking for a relationship right now, why not spend some time looking at others, male and female, that are straightforward and respectful as he is?

You would make some great friends and, who knows? you might even get a boyfriend better than him!

Answer 5

okay breathe. What you have is an infatuation. It will take some time but if you can get yourself busy with something besides boys this summer, by the fall you will be over him and obsessing over another guy.

Instead of sitting around daydreaming, writing poems and songs about this guy, get out of the house and around lots of other people. Volunteer, take up a hobby, get a summer job, just do something that will keep your mind occupied and fill up your time.
Your time when someone is daydreaming about you will come, everyone gets a turn.

Answer 6

Quit wasting your time with this infatuation. You are in love with the idea of being in love. That's okay. Love is a wonderful thing. Just wait until it really happens. You'll forget all about this guy and probably wonder what in the world you ever saw in him in the first place.
Stay busy. Pursue your interests. Join clubs with like minded people that share your interests and passions. You'll eventually meet that special someone. Take your time and don't look for love in every cute face. Love will find you, if you let it.

Answer 7

Your problem is important because it is important to you. It's not unusual to get "stuck" on a guy-especially when you can't have him. You want to be careful not to be making him better in your mind than he actually is. You may not really know him that well. Also, spending all your time thinking about him may be causing you to miss out on a new, better, handsomer boyfriend! You are not hopeless but only you can decide that you are going to move on from this guy or continue to wait for him. Life is too short to spend four months being unhappy.

Answer 8

awww,
You'll always have him on your mind, even if you try to get over him. But realyl consider what you may be missing out on by not going for otehr ppl or being stuck on someone that you won't have. Maybe there is hope in the future when he and you mature or something. But If i were you i'd be obsessing over him and what he's doing and whose he with. If you still talk to him as a friend than thats good. Maybe once you stop "loving him" he'll love you. I know that sounds crazy but it's happeend to me b4. Just don't let it hold you back form otehr guys.

Answer 9

Well what I would suggest for you is to be his friend without all the I love you because if you keep doing this and saying this to him, he might not want to be your friend after this or he might stop talking to you altogether. What you should do is be his friend and treat him just like a friend and maybe just hopefully something will blossom into something much more, but you have to only be his friend. Meanwhile you can start to date other guys and maybe you will forget about your love for the other guy and still have him as your friend. Just a thought. Good luck!

Answer 10

Its hard but the number one thing you need to know about guys is they like to do the chasing not be chased so no matter how much it hurts don't let him know. your young they will be a lot more guys you'll be in love with that is until you really fall in love. in 5 years you'll have trouble remembering his name. HE'S JUST A BOY BOYS SUCK YOUR BETTER THEN HIM. how do I know. because your a woman and we're always right. boys only care about one thing getting some and then getting some better so if you know in your heart that your better then he is (,cause you are, )that you can do better then him, (cause you can.) when he figures out that he missed out and that you rock , (cause he will and you do) you'll be over him and can just tell him " oh Hun I'm sorry can we just be friends , your not really up to my standards. WONT THAT BE GREAT. You can make it happen. You just have to believe in yourself.

Answer 11

You deffinetly need to take your mind off this boy!!! If you like to write songs, then write them about anything but guys, espically this one!! I know how you feel though, I once was in what I thought was true love. The guy I liked was 2 years younger than me though. My friends gave me a hard time about it and eventually I forgot about him. But I did talk to my mom about it, rember they were teens in love once to!! Give your mom a chance she might have some good advice!!